The Two Faces of Lummie Jenkins


The Atavist Magazine, No. 170 — Originally published by Topic


Alexandra Marvar is a journalist and photographer based in New England. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, WSJ Magazine, The Believer, and other publications. She is the managing editor of Being Patient, a science and news site focused on neurodegenerative diseases and brain health.

Editor: Seyward Darby
Art Director: Ed Johnson
Copy Editor: Sean Cooper
Fact Checker: Emily Injeian
Ilustrator: Fede Yankelevich

Published in December 2025.


Author’s Note: The American sheriff is an office as old as the colonies. In England, the sheriff—the reeve of the shire—was appointed by the king to maintain law and order, collect taxes for the crown, and raise the posse comitatus. After the Revolutionary War, this British import became an elected position. But 250 years on, some U.S. sheriffs seem to still want to answer to a king—and in the absence of a king, to hold absolute power. The following story was first published in 2018, in a too-short-lived magazine called Topic. At the time, I thought of my work as righting a whitewashed historical record, sharing an underrepresented perspective, filling out the context around a supposedly heroic “legend in his own time” in the Deep South. We were not quite one year into Donald Trump’s first presidential term, and constitutional sheriffs—ironically, the term for sheriffs who believe they have more authority than the Constitution when it comes to choosing whether or not to enforce federal laws—were emerging as some of his most vocal supporters. Now a year into Trump’s second term, this claque of sheriffs are ever more boldly superseding federal law on issues like immigration, voting rights, and election procedures. Revisiting this story now, I understand Lummie Jenkins differently. I’d originally considered my piece to be a history, revealing the dark truth about a man who tamped down the civil rights movement in his county while maintaining a public reputation of charm and humor. Now I also see it as a case study on the making of the constitutional sheriff and how that figure’s particular brand of power has persevered through wave after wave of democratic reform.

—Alexandra Marvar


Talk to anyone over the age of 70 in Camden, Alabama, and they can tell you a story about Lummie Jenkins, the sheriff of Wilcox County from 1939 to 1971. According to newspapers across the Deep South, Percy Columbus Jenkins—also known as Sheriff Lummie, Mr. Lummie, or just Lummie—was “a superb raconteur,” a “master psychologist,” and a “modern-day hero.” It was common lore that, unlike other sheriffs in the region, Lummie didn’t need to carry a gun, and he didn’t go prowling for suspects. Instead, he kicked back in his chair at his chinaberry-wood desk, packed his pipe with Prince Albert tobacco, and summoned the guilty parties to the Wilcox County Courthouse in downtown Camden simply by word of mouth. Out of fear or respect, the legend goes, suspects came in of their own accord.

Introducing The Atavist’s Revived series.

The length of Lummie’s tenure as Wilcox County’s chief law enforcer—eight consecutive terms—broke records in Alabama. And because much of it took place before the dawn of Miranda rights, which were enshrined in law by a Supreme Court ruling in 1966, there are countless stories, some surely truer than others, about the sheriff’s knack for coercing a confession from anyone. Newspapers reported claims that he employed sorcery, mind reading, and dreaded doses of “Truth Medicine”—sips from a glass bottle of Listerine he kept in his office that sported the disclaimer “Will paralyze if you lie.” Lummie had powers, people said, that exceeded those of ordinary lawmen.

You could say that law enforcement was in his blood. His father, P. C. Jenkins Sr., was sheriff of Wilcox County from 1911 to 1914. Lummie was just 12 when he snuck out of school to watch his dad preside over a public execution by hanging in Camden’s town square. “There were so many people,” he later recalled. “It looked just like a show day.”

Wilcox County sits in Alabama’s Black Belt, so named for its rich, dark soil and concentration of Black residents. It’s a place where the legacy of slavery runs deep; immediately before the Civil War, few counties across the South had more enslaved people. The sheriff’s domain comprises the city of Camden, four small towns, and a tangle of hilly two-lane highways and red-dirt roads that weave through the overgrowth of fallen cotton empires and felled pine woods. In 1960, there were some 18,000 residents in Wilcox County, 78 percent of whom were Black. Today, the population is fewer than 10,000 and more than 70 percent of residents are Black. Then as now, Wilcox hovered near the top of the list of the nation’s poorest counties.

In 2008, Lummie’s granddaughter, Delynn Jenkins Halloran, celebrated her grandfather’s gilded reputation by self-publishing a compendium of lightly edited newspaper articles and collected praise titled Lummie Jenkins: The Unarmed Sheriff of Wilcox County. The contributors to her crowdsourced book included white family members, white journalists, white congressmen, white governors, and white sheriffs of nearby Alabama counties—as well as the white wives of many of these men. An additional source on Lummie’s legacy, from autobiographical cassette tapes he recorded in his final years, was the man himself.

On the cover of the 168-page paperback is a color photograph of the sheriff. He wears a jaunty grimace and a white cowboy hat to match the white vest buttoned over his brick-red shirt. One of his cherished pistol-themed tie clips glistens at the center of his chest. Taken for the Birmingham News in 1968, and appearing above the caption “Wilcox County’s gunless sheriff always gets his man,” the photo shows Lummie leaning against a sheriff’s cruiser before the antebellum columns of the Wilcox County Courthouse, squinting through the fat lenses of his glasses.

I visited the site of this photograph in the fall of 2018. The courthouse looked exactly the same as it does in the Birmingham News photo; even the Jim Crow–era drinking fountain still protruded, unmarked, from a patch of grass on the street corner. I’d been to the area a couple of months earlier to meet a legendary group of quilt-making artisans in a nearby community called Gee’s Bend.1 Lummie Jenkins had been dead for forty years, but in Gee’s Bend I kept hearing mention of the late sheriff and his granddaughter’s book.

1. During the Great Depression and into the mid-twentieth century, women in Gee’s Bend stitched quilts from every available fabric—cotton scraps, old blue jeans, feed sacks—to keep their families warm. In the 1960s, civil rights organizers helped the women set up a mail-order business. In the 1990s, a pioneering art collector named Bill Arnett came to the community, purchased quilts in large numbers, and surfaced them to arts critics, collectors, and curators. Today its quilts are on U.S. postage stamps and in the permanent collections of major museums worldwide.

I was hard-pressed to find a cup of coffee in Camden—Hardee’s had run out—but I did come across copies of The Unarmed Sheriff on two occasions. It was on a shelf at the Wilcox County Library, upstairs from Lummie’s former office in the courthouse, where a researcher helped me locate news clippings about him. (“Mr. Lummie!” she remembered warmly, and told me that he had once given her family a puppy.) The book was also available for $16.95 at the Black Belt Treasures Cultural Arts Center, a nonprofit gallery and shop packed with gifts, paintings, and crafts, located about five hundred feet from the courthouse door.

Outside Wilcox County, copies of The Unarmed Sheriff were harder to come by. There was a used copy available on Amazon, where the book had two reviews.2 One gave it five stars: “Awesome book. Very very good read.” The other was a one-star review: “Wait a minute wasn’t this the ‘infamous’ Sheriff who beat the Black woman McDuffie to death with a rubber hose? … So thankful my father got me and my Mom out of Alabama as soon as I was born.”

2. Today I can only find a copy on eBay, for $84.

“Wait a minute wasn’t this the ‘infamous’ Sheriff who beat the Black woman McDuffie to death with a rubber hose?”

Gee’s Bend is an unincorporated town, tucked so deep into one of the Alabama River’s oxbow arcs that it feels (and functions) like an island. The families there can trace their roots and last names directly back to slavery. In the generations that followed the Civil War, white landowners left; Black residents stayed. The town’s geography makes it thirty-eight miles from Camden by car via the nearest bridge, or about six miles on the local ferry—an hour and a half drive or a fifteen-minute boat ride.

In 1949, during Lummie’s tenure, the government decided to change the town’s name, which was taken from plantation owner Joseph Gee. Authorities rechristened it Boykin, after a segregationist senator. Following Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination in 1968, residents filed a request to rename their home again, this time to King. Nearly sixty years on it’s still Boykin, but most everyone calls it Gee’s Bend.

On an afternoon in October 2018, I boarded the ferry in Camden. I rode across a wide, flat reservoir to the muddy shore of the Bend. The Welcome Center served a free hot lunch to seniors on weekdays, and when I arrived a few women—all quilt makers—were picking over the carrot-and-raisin salad or skipping directly to the Moon Pies.

Lummie’s reign as sheriff ended almost a half-century ago, but several of the women remembered him well. At first the stories I got—as a white stranger asking questions in a community where outsiders are few and memories are long—felt reserved. But as the women cautiously gauged my response, their physical reactions said more than their words. When I asked Lola Pettway, then 77, if she remembered Lummie Jenkins, she recoiled, like I’d spooked her. She could remember Mr. Lummie standing at the edge of a field, watching her and her family pick cotton; something about that image sent chills through her body. Nancy Pettway, then 83, told me about how, just before she was married, Mr. Lummie made the trip over to the Bend, arrested her fiancé, and threw him in jail after hearing that he’d killed a dog that attacked him.

I left the Welcome Center and drove a few miles down dirt lanes and through rolling fields to a farm on John Gragg Road. A silver Cadillac was parked askew near some hay bales in a field of cows. Barking dogs eagerly surrounded my car. I was there to see none other than John Gragg, 88, the son of a well-known preacher and landowner in the Bend. Gragg came to the door with his walking stick and invited me into the living room of his one-story 1930s farmhouse.

“Lummie Jenkins?” Gragg said. He sat back in his recliner, his walking stick resting on his knee. “He was the boss man.” He chuckled to himself. The music from an old black-and-white western flared up from his television set. I asked him if it was true that Lummie didn’t carry a gun. “Didn’t carry a gun?” Gragg sounded amused. “He carried a gun and a nightstick.”

Virtually everything I’d read—all the profiles, op-eds, obituaries, and tributes—pegged the sheriff’s mystique to the idea that he was unarmed. But Gragg remembered a different Lummie. He also remembered the sheriff’s cronies. “He had his snitches,” Gragg said, “and they would tell him what he want to know.”

As I kept talking to people in the Bend, I heard more about this other Lummie Jenkins. The one who, if he was in a mood and caught a Gee’s Bend resident on the wrong side of the river after Camden’s eight o’clock curfew, would make them swim home, even in winter. Fear was essential to keeping white power intact, and as the civil rights movement whipped up revolutionary energy across the Black Belt, Lummie’s and his colleagues’ efforts intensified. People told me that, in 1962, as voting rights organizers started to arrive in Wilcox County, the leadership shut down the Gee’s Bend ferry, turning a short passage into an all but unmanageable journey—you needed a car, gas money, and time. This effectively cut Bend residents off from local services, including the voting registration office. Lummie reportedly made a comment about the decision that’s the stuff of legend: “We didn’t close the ferry because they were Black. We closed it because they forgot they were Black.” (The ferry would remain out of commission for forty-four years. In 2006, it was reopened with fanfare and hat-in-hand apologies.)

Gee’s Bend residents also remembered King’s visits in 1965, and the march on Selma’s Edmund Pettus Bridge, some forty miles north. They remembered walking as children and teenagers for days in the rain with King and John Lewis. They remembered gathering by the hundreds at the Camden courthouse for another demonstration, being blockaded by Lummie and Mayor F. R. Albritton, being immersed in tear gas and pummeled with smoke bombs, getting arrested, kneeling in the street, refusing to leave. They remembered the songs they sang. Some people also remembered what happened to David Colston, what happened to Della McDuffie.

Some people would have preferred not to remember that time at all.

The Wilcox County Courthouse

Lummie Jenkins may have been a nonpareil in Wilcox County, but he was not an anomaly in the Jim Crow South, where sheriffs were considered more powerful than the American president. He held office during the rise of “peace officer” organizations—groups of law enforcement officials, organized state by state, who shared similar conservative ideas about the Constitution and other matters. Lummie was a loyal member of the Alabama Peace Officers Association and something of a celebrity among its ranks, serving as vice president and then president between 1959 and 1963. As one admirer wrote in a 1975 edition of the Alabama Peace Officers Journal, “Lummie is not only respected and loved by his people in Wilcox County; he is the only officer I have ever seen walk into a meeting of law enforcement officers and get a standing ovation.”

Members of peace officer organizations embraced a concept called interposition: They believed that it was a sheriff’s job to insert himself between state or federal authorities and his constituents to prevent the enforcement of laws he didn’t agree with. In 1958, the Supreme Court held that this doctrine had no legal basis, but peace officer groups continued to foster and amplify sheriffs’ dissent against legislation they didn’t like. This would last decades. In 1994, a pair of sheriffs filed a suit against the federal government over a new law that compelled police to run background checks on people who bought handguns. The sheriffs won—it was unconstitutional, the Supreme Court ruled, for the feds to make local police enforce the policy. Then, in 2013, in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre, dozens of sheriffs united again, this time against gun-control regulations proposed (but never passed) during the Obama administration.

American sheriffs are still spreading the doctrine of interposition. The Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association (CSPOA), which was established in 2011, is now a nationwide organization of right-wing law enforcement officers who share an interpretation of the Constitution that gives sheriffs the “authority to check and balance all levels of government within the jurisdiction of the County.” Among its most famous members is Joe Arpaio, the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, who was pardoned by Donald Trump in 2017 for racially profiling Latinos in order to turn them over to immigration authorities.

There’s always been just one way for most sheriffs to maintain their power: They have to keep getting elected to office. For most of Lummie’s career, that wasn’t a problem. Then came the civil rights movement.

In January 1965, registration of eligible Black voters across the South was upwards of 40 percent, but in Wilcox County it was zero percent. Meanwhile, white registration was 113 percent—some deceased residents were still on the rolls.

One day in 1963, a dozen or so men dressed in their Sunday best climbed into pickup trucks and caravanned from the Bend to Camden. They intended to register to vote, a right guaranteed them by the Fifteenth Amendment, which by then had been on the books nearly a century. They knew that they were breaking ground and risking everything. They’d all heard the infamous story about an elderly Black minister who, years prior, tried to register in Wilcox County, only to be shot and killed. The incident wasn’t documented, but true or not it had an impact. One by one, the men filled out an application at the county courthouse. All of them were rejected.3

3. The first documented instance of a Black man attempting to register to vote in the county was the Reverend James Foster Reese, a transplant from Kentucky. He believed racial dynamics in Wilcox County could and should change, so one day in 1958, he went to the courthouse to exercise his right to get his name on the voting roll; he was turned away. He kept trying to register, but the more he persisted, the more consequences he faced, including physical attacks and threats to his family. He eventually moved to Tennessee. He never succeeded at registering to vote in Alabama.

Hundreds of Black residents would follow their lead in the next two years. Every one of them had to overcome the fear of death. They also had to accept that they could lose their jobs, and that they and their families might face intimidation and threats. The Ku Klux Klan and other vigilantes across the South torched churches, set off car bombs, and assaulted or murdered Black neighbors and voting rights organizers in a desperate war to keep the white power structure intact.

As if that weren’t enough, Black would-be voters had to contend with onerous logistics. As of early 1965, the voting registration office in Camden was open for business twice a month. If a Black resident had a way to get there at the right time on the right day, they still had to pass a literacy test. If they did that, state law dictated that they needed two registered voters of good “moral character” to vouch for them before their registration could be validated. In Wilcox County, there were apparently no white voters willing to vouch for their neighbors of color. In January 1965, registration of eligible Black voters across the South was upwards of 40 percent, but in Wilcox County it was zero percent. Meanwhile, white registration was 113 percent—some deceased residents were still on the rolls.

That February, during a civil rights demonstration in Camden, Martin Luther King Jr. himself approached Sheriff Lummie in a crowd outside the courthouse with a request: Would Lummie himself vouch for voters of color? Onlookers would remember that the sheriff was courteous. He explained plainly to King that, well now, being “in politics” as he was, he couldn’t vouch for any individual voters. King asked him if that was indeed the law. “I haven’t read that in the law, but I’ve heard it,” Lummie said. King then asked if he and his colleagues could at least count on Lummie’s protection. The sheriff shrugged: “I only have two deputies.”

The following month, Jim Clark, the sheriff of Dallas County, Alabama, made international headlines for the violence he and his officers wrought on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, on what became known as Bloody Sunday—March 7, 1965. Even local news coverage celebrated King’s march and vilified Clark.

The press wasn’t a problem for Wilcox County’s sheriff, at least not locally. Once in a while, a reporter from elsewhere would note the county’s “bad reputation” in the context of civil rights, but what happened there tended to stay there. Hollis Curl, the publisher of the local paper, was an old friend and hunting buddy who would later eulogize Sheriff Lummie warmly.4 Curl’s paper didn’t run a word about the marches, smoke bombs, and tear gas in Camden in 1965.

4. Curl described the sheriff as folksy, humble, loyal, larger than life—“a mighty man.” Lummie “loved people” and helped anyone who came to him. He “had the respect of both races,” said Curl, who was sure that “some of his best friends were colored.”

In charming the local media, Lummie was less like Jim Clark than like Laurie Pritchett, police chief of Albany, Georgia. If Clark galvanized the civil rights movement, Pritchett, whom journalist and historian James Reston once called “the smartest of King’s adversaries,” did the opposite. Just like King, Pritchett had studied civil disobedience and the strategies of Mahatma Gandhi, and he set out to diffuse civil rights efforts without producing martyrs. His tactics included keeping racially motivated violence in check, skillfully managing public relations, and cultivating a cordial relationship with King himself. He countered a civil rights push in Albany in November 1961 by ordering his officers to be nonviolent and calling on every Georgia sheriff within a 70-mile radius to give him access to their jails. Hundreds of demonstrators were arrested and dispatched to borrowed cells.

Pritchett’s success was of great interest to Alabama authorities. Bull Connor, the notoriously violent public safety commissioner of Birmingham, once offered what Pritchett called “an outrageous sum” for him to take a short break from his police chief duties and come on as an adviser in the Alabama capital. Pritchett reluctantly agreed, only to leave after a short time in disgust. “I didn’t have anything in common with Bull Connor,” he later said.

Like Pritchett, Lummie had less overt ways of imposing fear and keeping the racial hierarchy intact. Once, when civil rights leaders asked for his protection while they ate at a local restaurant, Lummie let the activists know that it wasn’t his job to look out for them. He also asked for their home addresses. He wanted to be able to reach their families, the sheriff said, because the restaurant’s proprietor was “going to kill you for sure.”

Law enforcement using tear gas and smoke bombs against Camden students in the spring of 1965.

“He was the lawless lawman,” said Sheryl Threadgill Matthews, who at 15 became one of the first of two Black students to integrate Wilcox County High School. There was no police protection for students like Matthews, and no punishment for the classmates who verbally and physically abused her. She wasn’t getting much of an education, she said, so her enrollment lasted only a year before she returned to Camden Academy, the Black Presbyterian secondary school where her father, the Reverend Thomas Threadgill, was a chaplain. “Lummie didn’t play by the book,” Matthews told me. “He did whatever he wanted.”

For a time in 1965, Camden Academy offered housing to student volunteers who came in from across the U.S. to help with voter registration efforts. One student Matthews remembers from that time was Maria Gitin, a skinny white 19-year-old on summer break from college in San Francisco. She had seen the attacks of Bloody Sunday on TV and left home to enlist in a ten-week voter registration program in Wilcox County.

“Lummie Jenkins: not my favorite subject!” Gitin emailed in response to my interview request. She described the sheriff in her 2014 memoir of the civil rights movement, This Bright Light of Ours, as a “notoriously cruel,” “bandy-legged,” “homely” man who endorsed and enforced segregation, and lent his full support to the local Ku Klux Klan, “all while shaking hands and patting Black children’s heads.” Gitin recalled a traumatizing night she spent in the Camden jail, listening to a fellow organizer being brutally beaten in a neighboring cell. (“He was always arresting us,” she said of Lummie when we spoke on the phone. “Every few days.”) Upon her release the next morning, she remembered, she had to pass through the sheriff’s office, where Lummie and his deputies heckled her, laughing and passing around a jar of moonshine. “He was far from unarmed,” she said. “He pretty much always had a big shotgun with him.” It had been pointed at her the day before, when he came to round up her group of civil rights organizers at a local church for “conspiracy to boycott.”

That church was Antioch Baptist, a hub for voter registration efforts. King spoke there at least twice. One night that June, a white mob broke into the building and beat two Black teenagers so severely they were hospitalized. Two days later, on July 1, Lummie showed up at Antioch, ordered everyone out, and padlocked the doors shut.

White students in Gitin’s voter registration program were paired with Black locals. Her canvassing partner was a 16-year-old named Robert Powell. Now living in Bridgeport, Connecticut, Powell still had family in Wilcox County. He laughed out loud when I asked him on the phone about the “unarmed sheriff.”

“When we was demonstrating, we had songs made up about him,” Powell told me. “I’ll never forget some of those songs.” He recited one: “ ‘Ol’ Lummie, you’ll never be able to jail us all—segregation is bound to fall.’ ” Powell said that Lummie hated the songs. As for the people singing them: “There wasn’t much he could do at the time, with a hundred or two hundred fifty people, but jail them. And the jail wasn’t big enough to hold everybody,” Powell said. “He couldn’t stand it.”

Shelly Dale was arrested in the summer of 1965 during a voting rights demonstration. She was a teenager at the time; she went on to become Wilcox County’s tax assessor. She kept her arrest record in her desk drawer and fished it out to show me. “When you’re young, you’ll do some crazy things, right?” she said.5

5. Shelly Dale’s interview wasn’t originally featured in this story, because the audio files of my conversation with her were corrupted. I was later able to salvage them and can now include her perspective.

But getting arrested wasn’t the most memorable occurrence of that summer. “My baby sister got shot right there, right [in] front,” she gestured out the window of her office, at the town square. She recalled the bullet ricocheting off a parked car. It went in one of her sister’s shoulders and out the other. The bullet left “a long scar,” Dale said, and nothing worse. “If it had went that way,” Dale drew a line with her finger from her shoulder toward her heart, “she would have been dead.”

I asked her if, amid everything that happened that summer, she ever met Lummie Jenkins personally. “Please don’t call him Lummie Jenkins, OK?” she asked me gently. “He was such a mighty man. Please call him Mr. Lummie.” She saw him, she said, but never spoke to him. She told me it wasn’t her place to judge what he did back then. “He just had… power,” she said. “And people was afraid of him. Simple as that.”

By the end of the summer of 1965, the number of Black voters registered in Wilcox County had gone from a couple dozen to five hundred and counting. When the national Voting Rights Act became law that August, Alabama’s vouching rule was no more. The following year, federal election supervisors would arrive to see that Black voters were able to cast their ballots in the 1966 election. It wouldn’t be long before Black voters outnumbered white voters in Wilcox County and throughout Alabama.

Still, the past kept dogging the present, and Sheriff Lummie helped it along.

“Please don’t call him Lummie Jenkins, OK? He was such a mighty man. Please call him Mr. Lummie.”

“We had a café on the side of the road, right down there,” John Gragg told me as we sat in his house in Gee’s Bend. He pointed over his shoulder, toward where Route 5 joins the top of the Bend to the west. In his slow, low voice, he said, “They went in there, beat her up, and killed her.”

By the mid-1960s, there were outside eyes on white law enforcement here. But in the years before the civil rights movement, things were different. Stories from that time still circulate in whispers around Gee’s Bend. Della McDuffie’s story is one of them.

On a Saturday just after midnight in April 1953, Lummie Jenkins and other officers entered a Black-owned café, apparently to enforce a law that no music be played on Sundays. The place was bustling, and witnesses later told the Chicago Defender and the Afro-American that the sheriff and his deputies stormed in swinging blackjacks and a rubber hose, firing shots into the ceiling and floor “to scare the n–––s.” It worked. Patrons dove out windows to escape. One person, however, couldn’t run: the café owner’s wife, Della McDuffie. She was 63 and paralyzed, so she used a wheelchair. Several accounts would describe Lummie ordering her to get up and go to bed. When she couldn’t, he beat her with a rubber hose. Within an hour—despite frantic care from her husband, William, and the arrival of a doctor—Della was dead.

William would later recall seeing a trickle of blood running from his wife’s ear down her face. Her death certificate, prepared by the sheriff’s office, listed her cause of death as a “preexisting blood condition.”

Her family fought back. Future Supreme Court justice Thurgood Marshall, then a lawyer and head of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, asked the Justice Department to open an investigation into Della’s death, along with injuries sustained by another woman on the scene. According to press coverage from the period, the FBI made preliminary inquiries, but local witnesses, some of whom had already been threatened, refused to testify, and law enforcement was uncooperative. A year later, William McDuffie drowned in unclear circumstances. DOJ investigators wrote back to Marshall that they couldn’t do anything further with the case. Subsequently, the surviving McDuffies reported house fires and death threats made against them. They eventually left Alabama.

On Lummie’s watch, there were other suspicious and often violent deaths of Black residents that the sheriff’s office never found any foul play in connection with. In January 1966, 32-year-old David Colston was killed by a white farmer, J. T. Reaves, near Antioch Baptist Church. Colston had been on his way to a funeral, after which he was going to a rally for the election of Black citizens to local office, when Reaves rear-ended his car. Reaves claimed that Colston got out of his vehicle and confronted him, so he shot him in self-defense. Colston died at the scene.

Following the shooting, Reaves turned himself in to Lummie. As for what happened next, some reports say that, after handing over his gun, Reaves went home. Others claim that he spent a night in jail. Either way, in short order Reaves was free. He was never punished for the crime, which the sheriff’s office recorded was the result of heated tempers during a “traffic incident.”

Witnesses contradicted this account from the start. Colston’s wife, who was in the car with him, said there was no argument between her husband and Reaves. In her telling, Colston went to check his car’s bumper after Reaves hit him and Reaves shot him in the head at close range. It was an assassination.

Colston’s murder seems to have shifted the tone of life in Wilcox County. Black residents recalled their white neighbors becoming emboldened, leaving guns on their car seats and dashboards for all to see. They understood Reaves’s violence to be not just against Colston but against all of them. Colston’s funeral portrait was hung in the Southern Christian Leadership Conference headquarters in Selma—“a literal picture,” Jet magazine reported at the time, “of Alabama Negros’ drive to secure the vote.” 6

6. The NAACP called for the investigation of other deaths of Black Wilcox County residents that occurred in 1967—a year Lummie also happened to serve as the countys coroner. One of the deceased was 31-year-old Rodell Williamson, whose body was found “hung up” with fishing line in the Alabama River. The sheriff’s office declared it an accidental drowning. Lummie was quoted in Jetmagazine as speculating that Williamson “may have been in the river swimming. Or he could have fell in.” Family members who identified Williamson’s body told reporters that his neck was gashed and appeared to be broken, that his head was “smashed,” and that there were bruises on his chest. A number of area residents claimed they’d heard that Williamson had been beaten to death, but Lummie’s deputy said that was “a damn lie—and you can quote me.”

Walter Calhoun campaigning for sheriff.

Fewer than two weeks after Colston’s death, a Black grocery store owner named Walter Calhoun put on a suit, drove down to the courthouse, and filed papers to run for sheriff of Wilcox County. Calhoun was evicted from his store two days later, but he didn’t bow to intimidation. His name stayed on the ballot.

Meanwhile, with encouragement from King, Black residents of Wilcox County continued to register to vote. Lummie didn’t seem worried about his electoral prospects. “I’ve always tried to protect people of both races and the people know it,” he told a New York Times reporter. “I believe I’m going to get votes from both sides.”

White federal election supervisors were again appointed to watch over the polls. Ballot counters were white; polling places were white businesses. There was no guarantee that Black citizens’ votes would be counted, that they would feel safe voting for the candidate they wanted, or that they would feel safe voting at all. Whatever happened, whoever was able to vote as they wished, of the 6,198 votes cast in the sheriff’s race, Lummie beat Calhoun by a margin of 722.

It would be four more years before Lummie’s reign finally came to an end. In the 1970 election, at the age of 69, he lost to his opponent by just ninety-three votes. The victor wasn’t a Black man, however. It was F. R. Albritton, the former mayor who’d once joined Lummie in trying to block civil rights protesters from reaching the county courthouse. “The other man catered to the n––– vote,” Lummie lamented to Bob Adelman, a photographer who covered the civil rights movement. “He made speeches to them. He went to their churches. I’ve never done that.”7

7. Albritton said he ran for sheriff because his old friend Lummie—who’d had two heart attacks—was planning to retire. Only at the last minute, Albritton claimed, did Lummie decide to stay in the race. According to Albritton, when he won Lummie didn’t speak to him for a month.

The Alabama Peace Officers Association would print that Lummie Jenkins had “retired.” According to a report from a university student teaching in Wilcox County at the time, he went out with a vow to “fill the jails with n–––s” before he left office.

Among the Gee’s Bend voters who cast a ballot for Albritton was John Gragg. “We all voted for Albritton,” he told me. “Albritton got to be the sheriff and forced Lummie Jenkins out.” That was satisfying. “But then Albritton made him a deputy,” Gragg added.

Lummie didn’t leave the law completely, but he no longer had absolute power: a small but significant change that showed Wilcox County might soon be ready for a bigger transformation. And two terms later, in the November 1978 election, a remarkable thing happened. Albritton was beaten by Prince Arnold, a 27-year-old Black schoolteacher from the tiny unincorporated town of Pine Apple. Arnold would go on to serve eight terms, tying Lummie for the title of longest-serving sheriff in the state.

A month after Arnold was elected, but before he took office, 77-year-old Lummie Jenkins died of a heart attack. By then, Sheryl Threadgill Matthews was a social welfare officer at the Alabama Department of Human Resources. “My coworker, a white lady, came up to me at the water fountain,” she remembered. “She said to me, ‘Mr. Lummie said he would die and go to hell before he see a Black man become sheriff. And, well, I guess he sure did.’ ”

According to a report from a university student teaching in Wilcox County at the time, Lummie went out with a vow to “fill the jails with n–––s” before he left office.

In the summer of 1965—the same summer when white residents shot at and tried to run down Maria Gitin, Robert Powell, and other voter registration volunteers in Wilcox County—19-year-old Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, a recent graduate of Wilcox County High School, was still living in Camden. In 2006, as a U.S. senator from Alabama, Jeff Sessions voted along with the rest of Congress to unanimously extend the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Still, he complained that it was outdated and unfair to the history of his state. “I am worried because [the extension] does little to acknowledge the tremendous progress made over the last forty years in Alabama and other covered jurisdictions,” Sessions said at the time. “Today is not 1965, and the situation with respect to voting rights in Alabama and other covered jurisdictions is dramatically different from 1965. I would have expected Congress to recognize this tremendous progress.”

In 2013, Sessions championed a Supreme Court decision restricting federal oversight of voting rules in nine southern states, calling it “good news for the South.” Within two years, Alabama codified a requirement that voters show state-issued identification at the polls, then proceeded to announce that it was closing the offices that issue driver’s licenses in nearly half the state’s sixty-seven counties. All the affected locations were rural, and they included every county where at least 75 percent of the population was Black. Wilcox was among them.

In some ways, Wilcox County is different than it was in Lummie’s time. Many of its current elected officials are Black, including Earnest Evans, the current sheriff, who has held the position since 2010. In a photograph on Evans’s 2018 reelection campaign website, he stands before the Wilcox County Courthouse Annex, which was erected in 1976. It looks a lot like the courthouse Lummie posed in front of in the photo adorning the cover of his granddaughter’s book. Evans’s sheriff’s badge shines on his suit jacket. His gaze is toward the horizon. Underneath the photograph is a reminder: “You will need a Photo I.D. to vote.” Meanwhile, at the county’s main public high school—the one Sessions attended, the one where Sheryl Threadgill Matthews toughed out a year of abuse in the name of desegregation—enrollment has flipped entirely. Due to white flight, not a single enrolled student is white.8

8. Today the school is 98 percent Black.

When Robert Powell looks at today’s Wilcox County, he doesn’t see the progress he fought for. “We put our lives on the line to try to create some type of change, as a people, as a race of people,” he told me. “But Camden is still a segregated place to this day.” Despite “all the struggles and sacrifices we made, the more things change, the more they stay the same.”


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14,445 and Counting

The Blue Book Burglar

The Social Register was a who’s who of America’s rich and powerful—the heirs of robber barons, scions of political dynasties, and descendants of Mayflower passengers. It was also the perfect hit list for the country’s hardest-working art thief.

By Jack Rodolico

The Atavist Magazine, No. 168


Jack Rodolico is a freelance writer and radio reporter. His work has aired on NPR, the BBC, Marketplace, and 99% Invisible.

Editor: Jonah Ogles
Art Director: Ed Johnson
Copy Editor: Sean Cooper
Fact Checker: Jake Conley
Illustrator: Nada Hayek

Published in October 2025.


The phone inside the mansion rang relentlessly—five times, twenty, forty—echoing from the spacious kitchen to the bedrooms upstairs. The house was a 5,200-square-foot Georgian Colonial constructed of red brick. It had a pool and a tennis court, and it stood at the end of a long wooded driveway, off a secluded cul-de-sac in Greenwich, Connecticut. The town was the crown jewel of the state’s so-called Gold Coast, a swath of wealthy enclaves where Prescott Bush—father of George H. W.—was buried, where Robert F. Kennedy got married, and where Donald Trump would soon purchase his starter mansion. The owners of the red-brick mansion were a banker and his wife (herself the daughter of another banker) whose wedding had been written up in the New York Times. It was Independence Day 1980, and like many people in their social set, they were vacationing on the South Shore of Long Island.

That’s exactly what the caller was hoping for. As the phone rang again and again, his two accomplices listened outside the home. The caller hung up after fifty rings. The men hiding in the dark were confident that the home was empty, but they took one more precaution to be absolutely sure. Once the ringing stopped, they snipped the phone line clean through, setting off a silent alarm that notified police of a break-in. The men then hid in the trees near the house and waited. A Greenwich patrolman pulled up, surveyed the property, assumed it was a false alarm, and left.

Listen to the audio version of this story from Apple News

It was time. The two men broke a pane of glass near the back door, entered the mansion, and proceeded to plunder its contents. From a linen closet they took several pillowcases and filled them with approximately 350 pieces of silver: salad forks, fish knives, and bouillon spoons; a pair of grape shears and a cold-meat fork; a baby’s hairbrush and an ashtray; something called a star-footed muffineer. In the master bedroom, they emptied drawers of pearls, a gold watch, and a diamond-and-platinum band. They were thorough, searching cabinets in the library and lowering a pull-down ladder to ransack the attic. They took choice baubles, such as a porcelain umbrella stand and a tea caddy with an ivory finial.

In the living room, the men did something out of the ordinary for most house thieves: They removed a handful of paintings from the walls, but stole just two. These were landscapes by eighteenth-century Dutch and American painters whose names were unlikely to appear in an art history textbook. They were valuable pieces of art, but obscure ones.

Once the thieves had collected what they came for, they exited the house and walked to the end of the driveway. The third accomplice, who had been circling the block in a getaway car since calling the residence, picked them up there, and together they drove off into the night.

When the adjusters at Tiffany & Co. later appraised what had been taken from the mansion, the inventory stretched to five pages. The robbery was valued at more than $100,000, a figure that, when adjusted for inflation, nearly quadruples in today’s dollars—although the art has likely increased tenfold in value.

Greenwich detective Jim Hirsch had become somewhat inured to such crimes when he first heard about the burglary. Home robberies peaked nationally in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and Greenwich, where many houses were essentially poorly guarded museums, attracted talented thieves. There was the Silver Bandit, who snuck into the dining room of a home while its occupants were sleeping to steal antique silver. There was the Dinner Set Gang, who, while the rich entertained in the dining room, tore apart the bedrooms in search of jewelry. These thieves were a “pain in the ass,” Hirsch told me.

It would take Hirsch some time to discern what was exceptional about the crew that pulled off the Independence Day heist. For one, their M.O. was supremely cautious. Even more unusual was that this crew had an eye for quality, be it silver, jewels, antiques, or art. “They knew when they saw something,” said Hirsch. “They knew value.”

Actually, just one of the thieves knew value. And he was not yet done stealing the prized possessions of the East Coast elite. Not even close.

While stealing art is a challenge, selling it—and making a profit—is much, much harder.

I came across the Greenwich case in 2017. At the time, I was part of a team producing an investigative podcast about the 1990 robbery of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston. The Gardner burglary is a case of utmost superlatives. It ranks as the largest property theft in U.S. history, and has been called “the greatest art heist ever.” More than half a billion dollars’ worth of masterpieces were stolen, including Rembrandt’s only seascape. None of them have been recovered, and no one has ever been charged for the crime.

And yet I couldn’t help but wonder: Greatest art heist compared with what?

In searching for an answer, I learned everything I could about art robberies big and small, from the decades before and since the Gardner heist. I interviewed cops and crooks, academics and insurance adjusters. I pulled news clips about museum jobs across the U.S. and Europe. I read papers about organized-crime syndicates looting archaeological sites in Asia and the Middle East. I learned a lot about this rarified corner of the crime world—for instance, that the black market values stolen art at about 10 percent of the legitimate market price, and that authorities are most likely to recover missing pieces at the point of sale, whether that’s a Christie’s auction or a handoff in a hotel room to an undercover cop pretending to be a cash buyer. While stealing art is a challenge, selling it—and making a profit—is much, much harder.

So when I read a news story about the thief who had led the crew behind the Greenwich robbery, I wanted to know more. The red-brick mansion burglarized in 1980 was just one hit on a long list of them. Dozens of homes owned by members of America’s moneyed class were raided by the same thief and his crew. They were after art, but not the sort that would draw interest from the press. They wanted lesser-known works, and lots of them—the kinds of pieces that would be relatively easy to sell because the entire world wasn’t looking for them.

Over the course of my reporting, I came to believe that the ringleader of these crimes was in a class by himself. I doubt there’s such a thing as the greatest art thief of all time, but I don’t know of any burglar who worked so hard.

Jim Hirsch admired the titans of finance, politics, business, and industry he was sworn to protect. “Loved ’em,” he said. I interviewed Hirsch in a conference room at a Greenwich hedge fund where he’d taken a job as head of security after retiring from the police force. “Old money is tremendous. New money stinks. They seem to think they’re something special,” Hirsch said.

He told me about a friend of his: Andrew Rockefeller, of the Rockefellers, who passed away a few years ago. “Nicest guy you ever want to meet. Khaki pants, Top-Siders, and a sport shirt.” Hirsch was proud to know Rockefeller and his ilk. “Super, super people who remained friends with you after you left the job,” he said.

So when more than eighty homes in Greenwich were stripped of riches on Hirsch’s watch between 1980 to 1982—and that’s not counting the dozens more that happened in nearby communities—he took it a little personally. “It was embarrassing,” he said.

What the burglars stole was as impressive as who they stole it from. From the home of a political strategist Richard Nixon once included on his “enemies list,” they took a collection of oriental rugs (worth $19,400 at the time) and cracked a safe to find a sizable collection of antique stamps ($60,249). From the palatial estate of a family so rich they gifted a library to Yale University, the thieves stole three Tiffany floor lamps ($31,000). “These are not lamps, these are lamps,” Hirsch told me. “Highly identifiable tempered lampshades. They’re magnificent.”

From an insurance executive, the thieves took a nineteenth-century Swiss music box ($20,000). From a Rockefeller—not Andrew, another one—they took a platinum bracelet embedded with 280 diamonds ($15,300). They broke in to the homes of a pioneering cardiologist, the chairman of the National Audubon Society’s board of directors, and a descendant of an early investor in Thomas Edison’s light bulb. They stole a pair of handheld fans originally owned by an emperor of France ($2,000) and a full-length raccoon-fur coat ($2,000). They stuffed an untold fortune’s worth of silverware into countless pillowcases.

And then there were the paintings. The thieves homed in on eighteenth- and nineteenth-century oils, each canvas small enough to fit inside a briefcase. The works had humdrum titles such as A Hawking Party Resting at a Wayside Inn ($2,400), Hunter in Pink Coat on Brown Horse Jumping Fence ($3,000), and H.M.S. Duncannon 120 Guns ($5,000). They were painted by long-dead British, American, and Dutch artists for whom there was a boutique market of small galleries catering to the tastes of the very types of people the art was stolen from. It was uncanny what the thieves recognized as valuable. For instance, from the widow of a descendant of a signer of the Declaration of Independence they stole an 1842 painting by a French artist, a work that had not been on the open market in generations because it was passed down through the family.

Victims of these thefts returned from vacations in Europe, Martha’s Vineyard, or the Virgin Islands to find their homes ransacked—although one police report stated, “The entry was not immediately noticed due to the enormity of the house.” Losing family heirlooms was bad enough, but the violation of privacy and security was something else. “The property’s always insured,” Hirsch told me. “The problem that your home was invaded is a whole different world. There were some people that sold their houses. Some people used to greet you at the door with a baseball bat after that.”

DNA evidence was not yet a forensic tool, which was unfortunate since the thieves left behind plenty of it, often on cigarette butts stubbed out in the course of the robberies. Once, in a guest bathroom, a burglar defecated in the toilet and did not flush.

As the rate of the robberies picked up, from about one per month in 1980 to several per weekend in 1982, police began to notice patterns: the pillowcases used as loot bags, the broad array of high-value spoils, the timing (always after dark and on weekends). “You could take the complainant’s name off any of these burglary reports and exchange it with any other one,” Hirsch once told a newspaper reporter. “They were all identical.” Law enforcement concluded that the burglars cut the phone lines in the homes they targeted to deliberately trigger alarm systems, most likely to watch hapless patrolmen visit and then leave the scene.

Who was buying all the loot from the thieves? The cops figured it was someone with art-world savvy. “A burglar is only as good as his fence,” a detective from Bedford, New York, just across the state line from Greenwich, told a New York Times reporter. “A junkie doesn’t have a good fence—he goes to a pawnbroker. But someone who steals paintings, he has a good fence. You know you’re not dealing with something run-of-the-mill.”

Law enforcement also became convinced that there was a link among the victims. Not just their wealth and the location of their homes—something more singular. Detectives in Fairfield County, Connecticut, and Westchester County, New York, cross-referenced their cases. Did the victims belong to any clubs? Only the most exclusive yacht and country clubs in the country, but there wasn’t one they all belonged to. What about academic affiliations? Collectively, they’d been to every elite boarding school and Ivy League university, but they weren’t all, say, graduates of Yale. Did they use the same arborist? Was the same individual collecting their trash? No and no. The police did notice one thing: Many of the victims’ phone numbers were not publicly listed, which made the fifty-ring calls odd—to say nothing of the hang-up calls some targets had received prior to being robbed.

Two years into the crime wave, investigators were no closer to identifying the burglars, who were more prolific than ever. Over Memorial Day weekend in 1982, they hit five houses in Bedford alone. In Greenwich, they were returning to rob homes they’d previously struck. Police decided to cast a wider net via teletype, a messaging system used by law enforcement around the country, in the hope that someone, somewhere, knew something useful. According to Hirsch, the teletype spelled out the thieves’ methods and asked any department experiencing similar crimes in its jurisdiction to contact the Greenwich police.

The next morning, Hirsch got a call from a cop in Massachusetts who wanted to know: Had he ever heard of a book called the Social Register?

Blue Book members were the richest of the rich, the oldest of old money. Their homes were almost guaranteed to be chock-full of high-value loot.

America’s aristocracy traces its lineage to a time between the end of the Civil War and the dawn of the twentieth century, in the Gilded Age. Think Andrew Carnegie, J. P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt. Robber barons built obscene fortunes, monopolies lined the pockets of corrupt politicians, and unchecked capitalism opened a permanent chasm between the very rich and everyone else. The upper crust loved to throw opulent balls and banquets, which allowed hosts to show off their money, power, and influence, and prominent socialites kept so-called visiting lists of well-connected friends, acquaintances, and business contacts.

Louis Keller was not part of the new aristocracy, but he recognized a business opportunity in these quasi-private lists. He collected them, consolidated them, and produced a master copy of high society, selling it only to those who’d made the cut. First published in 1886, the Social Register was a thin, elegantly bound book with pumpkin-colored lettering on a black background. When later editions featured a blue cover, it became known as the Blue Book.

The first edition drew exclusively from the social lists of people with homes in Newport, Rhode Island, a favorite vacation destination of the elite. In time there were Blue Books for almost every major U.S. city. A group called the Social Register Association became the gatekeeper of the Blue Book, and it created strict rules for new entries. A person could be listed because of marriage to someone already included in the book, if they were elected president of the United States, or if they were nominated by an existing member. For many years, the Social Register was classist as well as anti-Semitic and racist; excluded Jewish society members in Chicago created their own version of the Blue Book in 1918, and the Social Register did not include a Black member for nearly a century after its creation.

In 1976, the city books were consolidated into a single volume covering high society nationwide. It listed approximately 50,000 names. By the 1980s, being in the book still had low-key cultural cachet, particularly for direct descendants of Gilded Age gentry. Members could flip through the Social Register’s pages to learn the essentials about each other. What school did so-and-so attend? What yacht club did they belong to? Were they related to someone on the Mayflower? And, for the purposes of correspondence, what was their address and telephone number?

While it was difficult to get listed in the Blue Book, it did not take a criminal genius to obtain a copy. “All you gotta do is one burglary in one house, and there they are!” said Roland Anderson, a retired Massachusetts detective who, as far as I could ascertain, was the first person to suspect that the burglars targeting Greenwich, Bedford, and other wealthy East Coast communities were using the Social Register as a hit list.

Anderson spent forty years as a cop in the Boston suburb of Weston, which, during his tenure, was the richest town in Massachusetts. Now 82, “Rolie” Anderson possesses a stunning memory for details about burglars he chased in the 1970s. When I met with him for an interview, he drove me around Weston as if still on patrol. “That one up there was hit,” he said, gesturing toward a single-family home large enough to be a castle. “Think of the dark of night. They entered through a cellar window near the garage. And they cleaned it out.”

When Anderson joined the force, in 1968, home robberies were common but not lucrative; burglars typically struck during the daytime, when victims were at work, stealing televisions and maybe a fistful of jewelry. But in 1978, two years before the Greenwich robberies began, a more ambitious crew commenced working in Weston. “We started to see the oriental rugs rolled up, antique furnishings taken,” Anderson said. “And, in some cases, paintings.” The thieves also cut their targets’ phone lines during robberies. Anderson questioned victims about their affiliations, hoping to figure out why the thieves had singled them out. One of them said, “Well, we are listed in the Social Register.”

Anderson had never heard of it. But thumbing through the book’s pages, he decided that what the thieves were doing made perfect sense. Any big house in Weston was likely to be a decent target for a thief, but Blue Book members were the richest of the rich, the oldest of old money. Their homes were almost guaranteed to be chock-full of high-value loot.

In an era of police work that Anderson calls “the dark ages,” he was particularly effective at shoe-leather investigating. That included combing through teletypes, which were, he said, “the only network we really had among all of us.” Though reading all the messages that came over the transom could be tedious and time-consuming, Anderson and his colleagues still did it “every single day.” That’s how he discovered a slew of identical unsolved robberies in virtually every exclusive Boston suburb, as well as tony communities in Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and Maine.

So he’d figured out the scheme. But who was behind it? Anderson studied the rap sheets of known antiques thieves and their associates, and soon built up a lengthy, almost encyclopedic list of men he believed were capable of pulling off the Social Register robberies. “Rolie Anderson is probably the best detective I’ve ever worked with,” said Arthur Bourque, a former trooper with the Massachusetts State Police’s major crimes unit. “He’s just got a ferocious appetite for background and research.”

On November 19, 1979, Bourque met with Anderson and produced the single oldest law enforcement document I obtained about the Blue Book burglaries. The memo’s subject line reads: “Intelligence regarding antique thefts in Massachusetts received from Det. Rollie [sic] Anderson of the Weston, Mass. P.D.” It includes a list of fifty-eight names, all people Anderson believed were involved in organized antiques theft. But he had no way to know which of them—if any—were using the Blue Book. “They were so adept at what they were doing and how they did it,” Anderson told me.

No sooner had Anderson handed off his list of suspects to the state police than the Social Register robberies in northern New England stopped. Bourque concluded that the thieves suspected law enforcement was onto them. “There was just too much heat going on up here,” he said.

Two years later, in August 1982, Bourque stepped up to the long roll of paper issuing from his office’s teletype machine to inspect what had come in overnight. That’s where he found the notice describing a string of burglaries in Connecticut and New York with a familiar M.O.

Convinced that the thieves Anderson investigated had moved their operations south, Bourque dialed up Jim Hirsch. “Get ahold of this fuckin’ book,” Hirsch remembered Bourque telling him, “because whoever you got in town who’s in that book is a potential target.”

Armed with intelligence from Massachusetts, Greenwich police went into Labor Day weekend 1982 as prepared as they’d ever been to catch the burglars in the act. They suspected that the crew were driving down from Massachusetts to commit their crimes, so patrolmen were directed to look out for cars with Massachusetts plates. Police were confident that the homes of people in the Social Register were at risk. The problem was knowing which ones: Greenwich was home to more Blue Book members than any suburban community in America.

At 1:30 a.m. on Friday, a resident heard banging noises next door at the house of a Blue Book member who was away for the weekend. Police arrived to find the house’s phone line snipped and a window busted; a perpetrator had slashed his arm on the broken glass and fled before entering the home. Then, at 12:04 a.m. on Saturday, a Social Register family reported that they had returned from dinner to find their power and phone lines cut and their home robbed. According to a police memo, “The intruder/s had made entry to a room which can only be described as a vault.” There they filled seventeen pillowcases with sterling silver. While inspecting the outside of the home, cops “heard what they felt to be a large subject running away,” but they were unable to track him through the dark woods. Later, on Saturday night, a third Social Register family returned from vacation to find their home stripped of more than $80,000 in valuables.

Despite law enforcement’s best efforts, the thieves had a good haul to show for the weekend. But it would prove to be their last ride in Greenwich.

The following weekend, at 10:50 on Friday night, a Greenwich cop spotted a white 1982 Plymouth Reliant with Massachusetts plates. There were three men in it, and they were cruising down Round Hill Road, where seven homes had been hit over the previous two years, more than on any other street in town. Police followed the car onto the Merritt Parkway, where it set off eastbound toward Boston, then pulled it over. According to a police memo describing the stop, the men in the Reliant said they were returning from the racetrack at Belmont Park, on Long Island, and were looking for a place to eat.

The driver handed over a license that identified him as Dennis Quinn; the car was a rental, Quinn said, from a company in Cape Cod. The other two men had no identification but gave their surnames as Gallagher and Hogan. Quinn allowed the police to check the car’s trunk. “Nothing was found,” the memo states. “Subjects were allowed to continue on their way.”

The next morning, after Hirsch learned about the traffic stop, he compared the names the men had provided against Rolie Anderson’s list of suspects and found a match: Dennis Quinn, 34, short and slight, with a mop-top haircut and an aquiline nose. Police then found that Quinn had rented a hotel room near Greenwich nearly every weekend that summer.

As for the other two men, one of them was identified as Charles Gallagher, 26, tall and hulking, with a horseshoe mustache. He wasn’t on Anderson’s list, but he had a criminal record—larceny, breaking and entering, stealing government property, assault with a deadly weapon. Police records turned up nothing about the man who called himself Hogan.

So Hirsch went to the expert. He dialed up Anderson and described the unidentified man in the Reliant: five feet ten, paunchy, with blue eyes, shaggy brown hair, and a hooked nose above a chevron mustache. Anderson knew exactly who Hirsch was talking about, but his name wasn’t Hogan. It was Raymond Flynn.

amazingly, they appeared to commit yet another burglary right under the FBI’s nose.

After years of playing cat and mouse with the Blue Book thieves, law enforcement finally had information they could work with, and in the waning weeks of the summer of 1982, a rare collaboration began. A dozen local police departments from York, Maine, down to Long Island worked with state police from Massachusetts, New York, and Connecticut to funnel intelligence to the FBI, which committed three dozen agents from six field offices to the investigation. The expansive team engaged in round-the-clock surveillance—including unmarked cars and fixed-wing aircraft—of Flynn, Quinn, and Gallagher, who were now officially known as the Social Register gang.

Eager to shut down the burglary operation, the FBI came up with a two-step plan: First observe Flynn, Quinn, and Gallagher robbing a home. Then follow the suspects to their fence. Step two was crucial. “It all revolves around their fence. And in some cases, like artwork, there’s probably only one real fence who can get rid of it, maybe two,” Bourque told me. “You can have twenty-five different burglary operations and one or two fences.”

Law enforcement tracked the Reliant the men had been driving to a rental company near Flynn’s home on Cape Cod. There they learned that the men often rented the same car. By the time the suspects rented it again and drove to the North Shore of Long Island—Great Gatsby territory, where Blue Book homes had been intermittently struck since 1980—the FBI had equipped it with a tracking device. According to a law enforcement memo, the suspects cased homes in Oyster Bay, Mill Neck, and Laurel Hollow, all towns “of Social Register caliber.” Three times, Quinn dropped off Flynn and Gallagher in ritzy neighborhoods. Though agents did not observe a robbery, they suspected that one had occurred because when the suspects convened at a Ramada Inn later that night, “they were observed to be carrying clothing, possibly attempting to conceal any contraband.”

The next morning, Flynn, Quinn, and Gallagher drove to a Western Union in Queens and picked up $1,500, which the FBI hypothesized had been wired to them by their fence as an advance on whatever they’d stolen the previous night. The suspects then proceeded to the Belmont Park racetrack. After gambling, they drove to Providence, Rhode Island, where they stopped for Chinese food. There, according to a police memo, the “suspects became involved in an argument between themselves and Gallagher walked out.” Flynn and Quinn hopped into the Plymouth and caught up with Gallagher as he ascended an entrance ramp to the highway. “Gallagher got into the car and a fistfight ensued,” the memo states. As the men threw punches inside the parked Plymouth, the FBI tail was forced to continue onto the highway to avoid being spotted. “Suspects then backed down the ramp,” the memo notes, “and FBI lost the car.”

The next weekend, the FBI were on their heels when Flynn, Quinn, and Gallagher drove the Plymouth to a Holiday Inn in Princeton, New Jersey. FBI agents booked the room next to the suspects as well as the room above, and from a surveillance van in the hotel’s parking lot, they snapped tight-framed black-and-white photographs: Quinn placing a call from a phone booth. Gallagher scratching his ass while pointing at a parked Corvette. Flynn, more than once, seeming to look directly into the camera. “Suspects were overheard to say that they only had six dollars among themselves,” reads a law enforcement memo.

Agents observed the men casing five Social Register homes in a single neighborhood on Saturday night. On Sunday night, undercover law enforcement followed the men back to the same area, where, amazingly, the crew appeared to commit yet another burglary right under the FBI’s nose. “When the suspects returned to the motel,” a memo states, “they were observed to be carrying a large box.” This time agents were able to confirm that a robbery had occurred: Someone had just stolen $25,000 worth of silver, jewelry, and three yellow pillowcases from the Princeton home of a great-great-great-grandson of President Martin Van Buren.

The next morning, the suspects picked up more cash from the Western Union in Queens and again drove to the racetrack. As they gambled, something happened that gave the FBI an advantage. “While the car was at the track parking lot, it sustained a flat tire,” a memo reads. There is no evidence that the FBI was responsible for the flat, but it was certainly a fortuitous development. When the thieves returned to the vehicle and opened the trunk to look for tools to change the tire, a photographer in the FBI’s surveillance van was perfectly positioned to see what was inside—including a yellow pillowcase. It was the kind of evidence law enforcement had been looking for.

Now all the agents had to do was follow the burglars to their fence. But when the thieves slammed the Reliant’s trunk shut, according to a memo, “the FBI [tracking] device fell from the car and was discovered by the suspects.” The men left the racetrack “very wary of any tails.”

Fence or no fence, the FBI was not about to lose the suspects again. Agents swarmed the car and arrested the Social Register gang on the Throgs Neck Bridge connecting Queens to the Bronx. Inside the Reliant, in addition to yellow pillowcases full of silver, agents found road atlases for the Northeast with various locations circled; hand-written lists of the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of 917 people listed in the Social Register; and a 1975 edition of the Blue Book for New York City and its wealthy suburbs.

Over his three-decade career, from 1967 to 1998, FBI agent Peter Melley worked all kinds of cases: terrorism, organized crime, even the bomb squad. “This was my one and only art theft case,” he told me. When I sat down in Melley’s dining room in Long Island for an interview, he presented me with an extraordinary artifact: the Blue Book seized from the Plymouth Reliant, its yellowed pages crammed with handwritten marginalia. I flipped through it with something approaching reverence.

Melley was not on the Throgs Neck Bridge on October 4, 1982, but the case landed on his desk shortly after the arrests. The Department of Justice tasked him with tying Flynn, Quinn, and Gallagher to as many Blue Book burglaries as possible and pressuring them to flip on their fence. He sent a memo to police departments requesting unsolved cases that fit the burglars’ M.O. He was quickly inundated with files—none of which definitively tied the men to the robberies.

When Melley visited them in jail, he quickly figured out who was in charge. “Quinn and Gallagher were not the most intelligent people in the world,” Melley said. Quinn was the wheelman, the getaway driver, while Gallagher struck Melley as more of an opportunist than a seasoned art thief. The two men refused to cooperate. Even if they had talked, Melley told me, “they wouldn’t have made much difference.” (Both pleaded guilty to interstate transportation of stolen property. Gallagher was sentenced to four years; Quinn got 18 months.)

Ray Flynn, on the other hand, “was a highly intelligent person,” Melley said. If the feds hoped to bring a case against the fence, Melley was sure, Flynn would have to talk.

Flynn was one of eight children raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and his siblings were all upstanding. Some were veterans of the Army, Navy, and Coast Guard. Some were elementary school educators. One of his brothers was a Cape Cod police officer. Flynn started out on the straight and narrow. He attended Stony Brook University on Long Island but dropped out, according to Melley. Throughout his twenties, Flynn caught a slew of larceny charges, serving two yearlong sentences in state prison. In 1974, when he was 27, his Massachusetts rap sheet abruptly ceased growing, but not because he stopped breaking the law. “He was getting busted when he was younger,” Rolie Anderson said. “He was making some stupid mistakes.” Simply put, he stopped getting arrested because he got better at his line of work.

When Melley interviewed Flynn, he was facing several years in federal prison for the Blue Book burglaries. So prosecutors offered him a deal: Confess to the crimes, identify the fence and any other people involved in the scheme, and prosecutors would grant him immunity. That would allow him to return home to his wife and their children. “We wanted to know every crime he had ever committed,” Melley said.

But Flynn wouldn’t sing. Instead, in December 1982, he pleaded guilty at the U.S. District Court in Brooklyn to interstate commerce of stolen goods. Afterward he was moved to federal prison in Danbury, Connecticut.

Within a year, circumstances changed. In September 1983, Flynn learned that his family had been in a horrific car crash. His wife and daughter would recover, but his two-year-old son was in a coma. The news pushed Flynn over the edge, and he agreed to talk if it meant getting out of prison. “He gave us chapter and verse,” Melley said. “He was fully cooperative.”

Once Flynn started talking, he had a lot to say. “We must have spent about three or four months with him,” Melley said. “He took us all over Connecticut, Westchester County, and the North Shore, and showed us all the different homes they burglarized. He remembered when they did it and what they had taken. He had a phenomenal memory.”

Flynn answered all manner of niggling questions. For example, Melley had interviewed many Social Register targets who owned large purebred dogs. “They all swore up and down that they had the best guard dogs in the world,” Melley told me. “They invariably would tell us that the burglars obviously had drugged the dog.” But Flynn said they didn’t need to. “The dogs loved Charlie,” Melley remembered Flynn saying, referring to Gallagher. Flynn’s accomplice played with the dogs, fed them from the target’s refrigerator, locked them in a bathroom, and released them when the robbery was done.

With Flynn’s help, Melley solved burglaries at the homes of 103 members of the Social Register in six states, with property losses valued at upwards of $40 million in today’s dollars. Flynn also told the FBI that his crew wasn’t the only one using the Blue Book. He gave Melley the names of nine men from New England, most of them on Anderson’s list of suspected antiques thieves, who had used the Social Register as a hit list over the years. It turned out that between 1981 and 1982, three teams of thieves were breaking in to Blue Book houses in Connecticut, Long Island, Massachusetts, and Westchester County.

But to Melley’s mind, those other thieves were dabblers. Flynn was the one who’d perfected the Blue Book scheme. He’d been involved with the lion’s share of the robberies. And the 1975 copy of the Blue Book that Melley showed me when I interviewed him? That was Flynn’s. His notes were all over its pages.

How, though, had Flynn gotten so good at identifying quality art? Knowing which paintings to steal, and which to leave behind? The answer was his fence. Or at least one of them. Because, as Flynn confessed, he actually had two.

Over time and dozens if not hundreds of robberies, Flynn came to recognize by sight the kinds of paintings His Fence was looking for.

In February 1984, the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York announced that a grand jury had indicted Anthony Ursillo, a 49-year-old antiques dealer in Providence, on twenty-four counts in connection to fencing the proceeds of sixty-one Blue Book burglaries. Ursillo had done time for breaking and entering, and the FBI in Boston long suspected he was dealing in stolen goods. The Tiffany lamps, the sterling silver, the antique baubles and tchotchkes—Flynn said Ursillo took it all.

Phone records showed that the burglars would call Ursillo after a robbery, after which he would wire them a down payment. Then he would meet the burglars in Rhode Island to exchange the goods for more cash. The evidence was damning. Ursillo took a plea deal and was sentenced to four years in prison and a $20,000 fine.

But Flynn said that he’d used a different fence for paintings, a Boston art dealer named Michael Filides. The child of Greek immigrants, and by all appearances a good citizen, Filides had worked his way up from a blue-collar background. He was briefly employed in finance before opening a gallery in the heart of the city’s arts district. An artist himself, Filides specialized in appraising nineteenth-century European paintings.

A federal grand jury indicted Filides, 51, on three charges of receiving stolen property and three charges of transporting it across state lines—all in connection with thirteen Blue Book burglaries. But the case against Filides wasn’t as cut-and-dried as the one against Ursillo. Filides didn’t deny buying art from Flynn. Rather, he claimed that he didn’t know that the works were stolen. “I am a victim of the lies of a convicted felon who is trying to shift his criminal conduct … onto me,” he told the press. That argument struck at the heart of the most serious charge against Filides—conspiracy in furtherance, which meant that he knew he was an integral part of the Blue Book robberies. Filides pleaded innocent to all charges and soon became the only person allegedly involved in the Social Register scheme to face a jury.

His trial began on June 4, 1984, with Flynn the star witness. Describing himself to jurors as a professional thief who made ends meet by “selling silver, gold, jewelry, antiques, and paintings from burglaries,” Flynn testified that he originally met Filides at the dealer’s gallery in 1976, when Flynn showed up with another burglar and a stolen painting. Flynn said that Filides not buy that piece, but he did offer tips for future targets: He wanted to fence landscapes and seascapes, not portraits, which were too easy to trace. He didn’t want any paintings larger than a suitcase, because that would make it too difficult to transport them to Europe, where Flynn claimed that Filides sold stolen art to other galleries. Flynn also said that Filides wanted paintings valued between $4,000 and $50,000—anything less would damage his reputation in the art business, and anything more would draw too many questions from buyers and insurance companies. Flynn even claimed that Filides provided him with a list of more than one hundred marketable French and Dutch artists whose work he and his crew should look for. Over time and dozens if not hundreds of robberies, Flynn came to recognize by sight the kinds of paintings Filides was looking for.

Testifying in his own defense, Filides was “alternately pained and bemused,” according to Newsday. He admitted that he had never questioned Flynn on the provenance of the art he came in with—something respectable dealers routinely do. Filides testified that, yes, he did often fly to Europe, despite his gallery turning an annual profit of only about $15,000. (Prosecutors pointed to this discrepancy as evidence that the dealer spent far more money than he “officially” earned.) Filides acknowledged, too, that he had sold paintings Flynn handed him. In fact, he still had several pieces in his possession at the time of Flynn’s arrest. (Filides eventually forfeited those works, twelve in all, to the FBI. They would be the only ones ever returned to the targets of the Social Register gang.) Still, Filides maintained that he had no idea anything he did was illegal.

A jury of nine men and three women deliberated for five days. They sent the judge twenty notes asking for explanations of legal issues and readings of testimony. On the fifth day, the foreman informed the judge, “We are hopelessly deadlocked on all seven counts in this case after infinite amounts of deliberation and many secret ballots.” The judge declared a mistrial. In an interview with a reporter, one of the jurors said they didn’t trust Flynn or Filides. Asked by the press how he felt about his odds in a new trial, Filides only smiled.

Melley sat through the whole thing. He had built the case against Filides—interviewing Blue Book victims, collating police reports from more than a dozen departments, driving Flynn all over New England to get eyes on the Social Register homes the thief had robbed. He knew prosecutors couldn’t bring Filides to court a second time without new evidence.

Melley wanted another witness, someone who would testify about Filides’s criminal activities. And that person needed to be someone who wasn’t a professional thief, because the feds needed the jury to trust them. “Fortunately,” Melley said, “Flynn had a very good memory.”

Flynn had first met Jack Farrell, a Boston insurance appraiser who worked for wealthy clients, at the racetrack—a place where they each spent a lot of time. As the two became more friendly, Flynn mentioned that he needed to get rid of some paintings of questionable origin. Farrell told Flynn he knew exactly who to turn to: Filides, a dealer willing to buy purloined art.

Though Farrell introduced the men well before Flynn began robbing Social Register homes, law enforcement decided to bring Farrell in as a character witness in Filides’s second trial, someone who could attest to the art dealer’s misbehavior. The trial began in September 1984, and the proceedings unfolded much as they had the first time—until Farrell arrived in the courtroom. Melley described his first appearance as if it were a scene from a movie. When Farrell walked in, everyone turned to get a look at him, including Filides. Prosecutors had told Filides that they’d be putting Farrell on the witness stand, and he’d made no objections. Now Melley wondered if that was because Filides hadn’t remembered Farrell. “Filides was looking at him like he had no concept,” Melley said. “Then all of a sudden, Farrell starts giving all these details.” Melley kept his eye on Filides, whose face fell as Farrell’s testimony proceeded.

Farrell did exactly what Melley had hoped he would: persuade jurors to believe Flynn when he said that Filides had been in on the Blue Book robberies. On October 2, a jury found Filides guilty of receiving stolen property, interstate transport of stolen property, and conspiracy.

Melley hoped for a yearslong sentence. But a few weeks later, District Court Judge I. Leo Glasser sentenced Filides to five years’ probation, a $30,000 fine, and a thousand hours of community service in the form of art lectures to disadvantaged Boston residents. The decision still mystifies Melley. “He was a person who deserved to be incarcerated. And, more importantly, had he been incarcerated, he would surely have cooperated and told us where the art went,” Melley said.

Of everyone involved in the conspiracy, Flynn was sentenced to the most time: five years behind bars. Thanks to his cooperation as a witness, though, he was out in less than twelve months.

Finding him wasn’t easy. All I had to go on was the Boston equivalent of John Smith—indeed, shortly after Ray Flynn’s arrest in 1982, voters in the city elected a mayor by the same name.

Most people involved in the Social Register robberies are now dead. Both fences are gone: Ursillo passed away in 1994, Filides three years later. Charlie Gallagher died in 2019. His obituary recounts a favorite expression: “I’ll be with you until the wheels fall off.”

As for Dennis Quinn, when I started working on this story, I traced him to a public housing apartment in the Boston area, which I visited twice. The first time, there was no answer when I knocked on his door, so I left a note. At my next visit, his name was no longer on the mail slot. This fall, I turned up his obituary: He died in April 2025, at 77.

The person I wanted to speak to the most was Ray Flynn. Other than a passing comment to a courthouse reporter at Filides’s trials, Flynn was never interviewed by a journalist. He never spoke publicly about the extent of his crimes, which, by all accounts, were voluminous.

Finding him wasn’t easy. All I had to go on was the Boston equivalent of John Smith—indeed, shortly after Ray Flynn’s arrest in 1982, voters in the city elected a mayor by the same name. I didn’t catch a break until I talked to Rolie Anderson, who immediately remembered Flynn’s middle initial, even decades after the investigation. It was X, for Xavier.

With his full name in hand, I found records that showed the Blue Book case was not the end of the line for Flynn. In 1996, he was arrested for robbing a room in the luxurious Mount Washington Hotel in New Hampshire. A manager and bellman doing a routine security check spotted him wearing tennis shorts and a dress shirt. When they asked if he was a guest, he ran away. Police then tracked him to a country road, where they nabbed him and recovered a diamond ring, a Tiffany watch, three credit cards, and a master room key to the hotel.

Flynn was convicted and sentenced to several years in prison; he was released in 2000. Prosecutors later brought other charges against him, mostly for breaking into other hotels. But in every instance he was either found not guilty, the charges were dismissed or dropped, or he was sentenced to probation. Still, buried in one of the police reports from these cases, I found Flynn’s phone number.

“Maybe I was a little adventurous. Maybe it was challenging to some degree.”

During my first phone call with Flynn, he took credit for two major heists. Years before the Blue Book robberies, in 1975, he claimed to have stolen a Winslow Homer painting from the public library in Malden, Massachusetts, in broad daylight. The next year, he said, he broke in to the Cambridge home of the president of Harvard University and stole six paintings valued at $380,000, including works by the French landscape painter Eugène Boudin.

I knew about these robberies from my research of famous art heists, but Flynn was never mentioned in the stories or police reports I’d read. Though I couldn’t confirm his connection to the Homer theft, an FBI agent I spoke to remembered driving past the Harvard president’s home with Flynn and Melley when Flynn, unprompted, told him, “Oh yeah, I did that one.” As I looked into the various crimes Flynn said he’d committed, the evidence I found often backed up what he’d told me. It never contradicted it. Flynn might have been a thief, but he didn’t strike me as a liar.

I hoped to learn more from Flynn. When I told him that I wanted to do a recorded interview, he suggested we meet at the Barnstable District Courthouse, of all places—the same place he’d beat his latest burglary charges. So I drove to Cape Cod, where Flynn was living. When I walked in, Flynn and his attorney were there to greet me in the lobby. Flynn looked healthy. He was trimmer than in his old mug shots, with short gray hair and no mustache. Dressed in business casual, he looked like he could be on his way to a country club.

His attorney ushered us into a small, windowless conference room. As soon as we sat down, Flynn said that he’d changed his mind; he didn’t want to be recorded anymore. We talked briefly about the story I wanted to tell—at one point, he stood up to mime taking a painting off the wall—and then he left.

This was the start of what became a yearslong back-and-forth between us. Flynn didn’t shy away from questions, but he always ended our conversations quickly. Sometimes I called and left a message, and he wouldn’t get back to me. During other periods we talked on multiple occasions in a single month. He was sad when I told him that Charles Gallagher was dead. More recently Flynn asked me, “How’s Pete Melley doing?”

Mostly, though, we talked about his crimes. The master room key for the Mount Washington Hotel? “It was like picking candy off a tree,” he said. Flynn claimed that he’d used the key to rob upwards of 150 rooms over the course of a decade before management finally caught him. Did he ever struggle to sell his stolen paintings? Sometimes, he said. But he never held on to them for long. “One thing you can do, which I did 200 times,” he told me, “is burn them.”

When I brought up the Social Register case, Flynn told me that he’d hit close to 500 Blue Book homes, far more than the hundred-some robberies the FBI had linked to him. When I relayed this claim to Melley and Anderson, both men found it credible.

I don’t know of any art thief who stole more and spent less time in jail. I found police reports and court records linking him to crimes ranging from 1965 to 2010. That’s not a job—it’s a career. Not that Flynn didn’t pay a price. When I asked about his family’s car accident, he said that his son woke up from a coma but remained in poor health, and died at the age of five. “You say to yourself, ‘If I was there, it wouldn’t have happened,’ ” Flynn told me. He and his wife are now divorced.

There are as many reasons to steal art as there are to steal anything else. There’s opportunism: In 1911, long before thieves in reflective vests plucked jewelry from the Louvre, an Italian handyman who had installed protective glass over the Mona Lisa stole the famous painting from the Paris museum. (The work was recovered twenty-eight months later, and the thief was arrested.) There’s kleptomania, as in the case of the French thief who stole more than 300 works from museums throughout Europe, and who remains under house arrest today. There are also more convoluted motivations, as with a Boston burglar who stole a Rembrandt to use as a bargaining chip, returning it in exchange for a reduction in the sentence he was facing for stealing other paintings.

But Flynn had a different reason altogether. A more mundane one. He found something he did well and worked at it—hard. “I needed fast money. I went to Las Vegas a lot,” he told me. “Maybe I was a little adventurous. Maybe it was challenging to some degree.”

Even now, Flynn’s motivation hasn’t changed much. Once, on a handshake deal at a bar on Cape Cod, he again agreed to let me record our conversation—if I was able to sell a podcast about him. But he later backed out when he realized that he wouldn’t make any money off the deal.

It’s not that Flynn is cagey; he’s calculating. As one of his lawyers told me, “Ray rhymes with pay.”


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I’ve Gone to Look for America

I’ve Gone to Look for America

All That Glitters

All That Glitters
His alleged victims say he bribed New York Police Department officials, stole millions in diamonds, and persuaded Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Kim Kardashian to shill for a scam cryptocurrency. So why is Jona Rechnitz still free?

By Miranda Green

The Atavist Magazine, No. 162


Miranda Green is a journalist based in Los Angeles. She was the national investigative reporter at HuffPost and director of investigations at Floodlight News.

Editor: Jonah Ogles
Art Director: Ed Johnson
Copy Editor: Sean Cooper
Fact Checker: Alison Van Houten 
Illustrator: Lily Qian

Published in April 2025.


It was like something out of a fairy tale—or the Los Angeles society pages. As a crowd of celebrities and reality-show cast members mingled near displays of diamond jewelry at the five-star Hotel Bel-Air, Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Ben Talei got down on one knee to propose to his girlfriend. “Congratulations!” a bewildered Kim Kardashian said to the couple. Then she looked at the stone. “Come on, now’s your time,” she joked about the ring. “You want it thicker.”

The November 2019 scene, caught on phone cam and later shared with the New York Post, was exactly the kind of spectacle the event’s organizer, Jona Rechnitz, must have hoped for. Rechnitz, the proprietor of a jewelry firm called Jadelle, had put together that evening’s Holiday Diamond Showcase to celebrate his business. Smiling wide, Rechnitz mingled easily with the attendees. Faye Resnick of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was there, as was Kris Jenner—the event’s official host. Yet Rechnitz didn’t stray far from Kardashian, who graciously accepted requests for selfies throughout the night.

Six-foot-four and 300 pounds, Rechnitz cut an imposing figure, but his dimpled cheeks and engaging eyes made him look younger than his 37 years. It was a face people tended to trust. His company’s profile was growing. That September, Kardashian had worn some of Jadelle’s bling to the Emmys. Jadelle recently announced a partnership with storied handbag brand Judith Leiber, and its jewelry had landed on the cover of Vogue Japan—huge accomplishments for a company that had existed for only two years.

The night was an opportunity to make big-ticket sales and to claim Jadelle’s spot as the go-to jewelry company for the city’s privileged class. Attendees tried on high-carat, multicolored diamond rings, necklaces, and earrings between hors d’oeuvres; a portion of the proceeds was promised to Toys for Tots. The party also marked a successful homecoming for Rechnitz, who had returned from New York to his native Los Angeles to launch Jadelle. His father was there, as were diamond dealers Rechnitz had worked with on both coasts. By all appearances, he was living his best life: he owned a Bugatti, rented an office at a premier Beverly Hills address, and paid $17,000 a month for the estate he lived in with his wife and six children.

Rechnitz’s return to the West Coast, however, was less a fresh start than an escape. In 2016, he had pled guilty in New York City to conspiracy to commit honest services wire fraud, meaning that he had attempted to bribe public officials. When he left New York, he told a judge that he hoped to put his past behind him, to become a better man. Jadelle was his vehicle for doing so, and Los Angeles’s celebrity culture was the fuel, Rechnitz told the judge, that he needed to power his rebirth.

But shortly after the Holiday Diamond Showcase, much about Jadelle’s success would come into question; even the marriage proposal was later revealed to be a stunt. Within months, Rechnitz faced multiple lawsuits for fraud and theft, allegations that he’d taken out multimillion-dollar loans using stolen property as collateral, and accusations that he’d leveraged his celebrity connections to create a false impression of credibility.

Yet, despite a decade of legal troubles, Rechnitz to date has escaped serious consequences. He has yet to spend a single day in prison, even for the New York conviction. In reporting this story, I reviewed thousands of pages of legal documents and spoke to 15 associates, former friends, and lawyers involved in more than a dozen lawsuits against Rechnitz. Many of them think Rechnitz avoided justice because he cooperated with federal authorities in New York, and may still be acting as a government informant—something Rechnitz himself is said to have claimed. Whatever the truth, nothing seems to stick to him.

Chapter 1

Rechnitz was born into an affluent Orthodox Jewish family with roots in California. He attended Yavneh Hebrew Academy, a prestigious private school, and graduated from Yeshiva University Los Angeles High School, in the same class as conservative pundit Ben Shapiro. Rechnitz’s father, Robert, worked as a real estate developer, served as the national finance cochair for Republican senator Lindsey Graham’s 2016 presidential campaign, and was active in American Friends of Likud, a not-for-profit outfit that promotes Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s political party through educational programs. After attending New York’s Yeshiva University, Rechnitz married his girlfriend, Rachel, and followed his dad into real estate. By 2007, he had a job at the U.S. branch of international development firm Africa Israel Investments, owned by Israeli billionaire diamond magnate Lev Leviev. He eventually rose to become the company’s director of acquisitions.

While at Africa Israel Investments, Rechnitz noticed that a client of his had a car with plates marked “Sheriff,” which allowed him to park wherever he wanted—street cleaning, tow-away zones, and handicap signs be damned. The client offered to introduce him to the man who’d provided them, Jeremy Reichberg, an official liaison between the New York Police Department and Borough Park’s Orthodox Jewish community. As luck would have it, Reichberg would soon be hosting a benefit for the NYPD’s football team. Rechnitz spent $5,000 on a ticket to get into a room with the department’s top brass. According to later testimony by Rechnitz, he made an impression on Reichberg. His donation even netted him a plaque from the team.

“It made him look good, made me look good, and we started to become friends,” Rechnitz said in court, according to The New York Times. “I didn’t know many people that had connections with police, growing up in Los Angeles, and I thought this would be an awesome tool for me personally and for my business.” His time with Reichberg also scored him points professionally. When Rechnitz’s boss came into town on a business trip, Reichberg had the police escort Leviev from his private plane.

In 2011, on the verge of turning 30, Rechnitz decided to establish his own real estate firm. He named it JSR Capital, using his initials. Rechnitz rented an office in the heart of the midtown diamond district. It was at JSR that Rechnitz developed a taste for the high life. He’d later testify that he charged more than $1 million annually to his credit cards; one lawyer claimed Rechnitz’s receipts showed that he spent more on tickets to New York Knicks games than he did on his taxes.

Though his real estate company was considered a midlevel firm, Rechnitz spent liberally to forge connections at the police department. The first of many trips he helped finance occurred in February 2013, when he and Reichberg coughed up nearly $60,000 to charter a private jet to fly themselves and two police officials to the Super Bowl in Las Vegas. According to prosecutors, they also bankrolled the group’s stay at the MGM Grand, as well as a female escort who joined them on the plane wearing a sexy stewardess outfit provided by Reichberg. Once home, according to court documents, Rechnitz and Reichberg continued to send gifts to at least one of the officers. In August, they paid part of the hotel bill for that officer’s vacation with his family in Rome. A few months later, the pair bought him a $3,000 watch and paid $6,000 to install railings at his Staten Island home. They even showed up to his house at Christmas—two Hanukkah-celebrating Jews in elf costumes, delivering jewelry and a Nintendo.

It was around this time that Philip Banks III, the top Black official on the force, was promoted to the NYPD’s highest uniformed position, and requested that his protégé, Michael Harrington, move from Brooklyn South to work as his executive officer. It just so happened that Harrington was one of the officers who did favors for Reichberg, and he was happy to satisfy yet another request: introducing Rechnitz and Reichberg to Chief Banks. The three men began dining out twice a month. Rechnitz paid for meals at glitzy Kosher restaurants, and they bought Banks a ring that Rechnitz testified had belonged to Muhammad Ali.

In December 2013, Rechnitz and Reichberg decided to charter another private jet, this time to the Dominican Republic. The guest list included Banks and his longtime friend Norman Seabrook, who was president of the Correction Officers’ Benevolent Association (COBA), a union for New York City’s jail guards. During one especially debauched evening, Rechnitz testified, Seabrook admitted to wishing he’d been more financially successful—he was in crippling mortgage debt. What’s more, he’d recently lost his beloved dog. Distraught and inebriated, he opened up his shirt to show Rechnitz the tattoo of the animal on his chest. “You should be making money,” Rechnitz told him, according to testimony. Seabrook agreed. “It’s time Norman Seabrook got paid,” he responded.

Rechnitz soon connected Seabrook with an old family friend, Murray Huberfeld, founder of a hedge fund called Platinum Partners. Rechnitz’s grandfather and Huberfeld’s father grew up in Poland, and both had survived the Holocaust. Rechnitz had sold Huberfeld apartments on the Upper West Side, and he came to Huberfeld with a new business opportunity: Would Platinum Partners be interested in investments from Seabrook’s union? The only catch, Rechnitz told him, was that Seabrook would have to get a kickback.

Eventually, Seabrook directed $20 million of COBA’s money to the fund, according to court documents. To uphold his side of the deal, Rechnitz needed a way to pay Seabrook. Rechnitz decided he would pull $60,000 from his own savings, then make himself whole by sending fake invoices to Huberfeld for eight pairs of courtside Knicks tickets. He allegedly routed the ticket transaction through a business acquaintance of his, who was later charged for a Ponzi-style ticket-reselling scheme. Now he just needed to get Seabrook the cash. One day in December 2014, Rechnitz visited the Ferragamo store on Fifth Avenue. Emerging with a new men’s handbag, he stuffed $60,000 cash inside and walked a few blocks to an idling SUV where Seabrook was waiting. Little did the men know that law enforcement was watching everything—and the exchange of money would eventually take everyone down.

Everyone, that is, except Jona Rechnitz.

“Rechnitz has been, without exaggeration, one of the single most important and prolific white collar cooperating witnesses in the recent history of the Southern District of New York.”

Over the next two years, investigators questioned more than twenty police officials and charged seven people with crimes ranging from misapplying police resources to conspiracy to commit honest services wire fraud. Eight people associated with Platinum Partners were indicted in a $1 billion investment-fraud enterprise for operating “like a Ponzi scheme,” according to a press release from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York. Rechnitz was facing significant prison time. But according to court records, Rechnitz cut a deal with prosecutors to become a cooperating government witness. Rechnitz subsequently met with the U.S. Attorney’s Office some 80 times. He spilled dirt on his business transactions with Huberfeld and Reichberg, and cooperated with a probe of New York mayor Bill de Blasio’s fundraising practices after testifying that he’d helped raise $100,000 for de Blasio’s 2013 campaign, expecting political favors in return. (Asked about Rechnitz by CBS News, de Blasio called him “a liar and a felon.” De Blasio was not charged.)

The federal case was considered the biggest modern corruption scandal in New York City at the time. In signing the cooperating witness agreement, Rechnitz agreed to plead guilty to the fraud conspiracy charge and to testify against his co-conspirators. Fighting for his freedom, Rechnitz appeared to hold nothing back on the witness stand. Though Rechnitz was facing 20 years in prison, prosecutors nevertheless praised his candor. “Rechnitz has been, without exaggeration, one of the single most important and prolific white collar cooperating witnesses in the recent history of the Southern District of New York,” wrote Assistant U.S. Attorney Martin Bell in a 51-page memo.

As Rechnitz awaited his sentencing, two new realities became apparent. First, he was no longer seen as a macher in his community of God-fearing, family-minded men, but as another of the city’s countless grifters. Second, his name was synonymous with fraud and snitching; who would invest with him now?

And Rechnitz desperately needed income. While he claimed that his real estate firm owned as much as $100 million in property, he faced foreclosure on one of his prime holdings: 32,000 square feet of retail and office space that took up an entire block in the Borough Park neighborhood in Brooklyn. Rechnitz also had mounting legal fees and was facing millions in potential restitution payments to COBA. So Rechnitz did what innumerable dreamers have done: He went west to reinvent himself.

Chapter 2

When Rechnitz returned home to Los Angeles in 2017, he needed a place to live. Finding one was no easy task. The house had to be large enough to fit his family of eight, within walking distance of a reputable synagogue, and owned by someone who wouldn’t slam the door when they looked up his credit or googled his name. To help, Rechnitz turned to the Jewish community. A local real estate broker suggested a home owned by an ER doctor and property investor named Joe Englanoff. At first Englanoff demurred; he’d heard about Rechnitz’s past. But then Englanoff’s father called. “Look, I’ve known Jona’s dad for years,” the elder Englanoff told his son. “We don’t do business, but he made a personal call to me, and if you could find it in your heart to give him a second chance, because he’s trying to move out here to California from New York. He’s really in a bad way. He’s reformed.”

Englanoff offered to rent Rechnitz a house down the street from his own in the coveted Beverlywood neighborhood. The modern Italian-style estate had a pool, waterfall jacuzzi, basketball court, in-ground trampoline, and balcony with city views. The rent was $17,000 a month.

The two men settled into a friendly relationship. Their families saw each other at temple functions and waved hello on the street. Englanoff’s family was charmed by Rechnitz’s generosity and personal touch. After Englanoff’s son mentioned that he liked basketball, Rechnitz showed up at his house with former Celtics forward Paul Pierce.

With his family established in one of L.A.’s trendiest neighborhoods, Rechnitz turned his attention to building his new company, Jadelle Jewelry and Diamonds. The company was registered in late 2017 in Delaware under Rechnitz’s wife’s name. The logo, a butterfly, carried its own significance—the endeavor would be a metamorphosis and a new beginning.

It would take more than a logo to grow the company; Rechnitz needed both gems and clients. Soon, Jadelle was trumpeting its first big get: Former Lakers center Shaquille O’Neal, with dozens of carats of glittering diamonds hanging from his neck, appeared on the company’s Instagram account in June 2018. “Another satisfied client @shaq wearing the Jaddelle [sic] HAMSA proudly,” read the post.

Two weeks later, Jadelle’s account shared a post from celebrity realtor Josh Altman, of Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing. “@jadellejewelry of Beverly Hills got me looking like Mr. T today,” read the caption. “Not sure this is good for my neck.”

One connection Rechnitz made in those early days was Peter Voutsas, who remembered Rechnitz striding into his Rodeo Drive storefront with otherworldly levels of confidence. “He told me, ‘I’ve heard you’re my biggest competition. We should work together on sales, because we have mutual clients,’” said Voutsas, who had never heard of Rechnitz.

At first, Voutsas was skeptical of Rechnitz’s pitch, so he consulted his peers. The network of diamond dealers and wholesalers in L.A. was small and tight-knit. Many of them, like Rechnitz, were Orthodox, and had followed previous generations into the industry. Updates and gossip flowed easily. When Voutsas called several other jewelers whose names Rechnitz had dropped, they vouched for him and told Voutsas that they were impressed by his celebrity clientele. No one had a bad word to say. That was enough for Voutsas, and the two began what Voutsas called a “successful and trusting relationship.”

Jewelry is sold largely on consignment, known as memorandum or memo, and while there is usually a written agreement, paper is only as good as the person behind it. “This is one of the few businesses left on this earth that’s done on handshake, where it’s based on trust,” said Jerry Kroll, a lawyer who handles insurance cases in the industry. It worked like this: Rechnitz would approach Voutsas with clients and ask to take some of Voutsas’s jewelry on memo. Voutsas would tell him how much a piece cost; if Rechnitz sold it for more than that, he kept the difference. If Rechnitz didn’t complete the sale, he returned the item. In short order, the two men did more than thirty successful transactions together, which Voutsas said totaled $39.4 million, and were hobnobbing basketball stars like O’Neal, Scottie Pippen, and Sam Cassell. “At the beginning it was legitimate,” Voutsas told me.

Rechnitz even told Voutsas about a tactic he used to drum up high-net-worth clients: He bought the best seats at basketball games. “If you have front-row seats on the floor or one or two rows back, all you have to do is look to the left or the right and you see famous people,” Voutsas said. There, Rechnitz could mention his businesses and work his charm.

It was at a game, Rechnitz told acquaintances, that he met the man who would become one of his most loyal clients and business partners, boxing legend Floyd Mayweather Jr. Early in Jadelle’s posts, Mayweather appeared in two videos on the company’s Instagram account, wearing hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of gem-encrusted watches and thick gold chain necklaces. “It’s one thing to buy jewelry from @jadellebh but it’s another thing to wear it fashionably,” read one caption that tagged Mayweather. Another post promoted Jadelle’s appearance at a jewelry expo in Miami Beach: “@JadelleBH in MIAMI—By day you can find us at The Original Miami Antique Show… and after dark, we’ll be catering diamonds to our local clients—with #tbe @floydmayweather. Thanks Champ🙏🏼.”

One day in June 2019, Rechnitz told Voutsas that he had a meeting scheduled with the Kardashian sisters at one of their homes. He asked if he could borrow a security guard for the day to protect the jewelry, Voutsas told me. Over the following weeks, Jadelle posted a slew of photos: Kim in a diamond cross necklace, Kylie in a double strand necklace of teardrop diamonds, Khloé with trillion-cut diamond earrings, and Kourtney in heart-shaped diamond studs. It’s unclear whether the Kardashians paid for the jewelry or Rechnitz gifted them the pieces in exchange for posts, but Voutsas said he was paid for the items he’d given to Rechnitz. The social-media campaign brought Jadelle significant celebrity clout—and helped grow its Instagram followers to more than 175,000.

The coup de grâce was an appearance Kim made on the red carpet at the Emmys that year, wearing three layers of diamond chains and a thick cross. Two months later, she was the star of Rechnitz’s Holiday Diamond Showcase. There was just one thing holding Rechnitz back from a future of glitz and glamour: He had to fly back to New York for sentencing.

“I am a changed man,” Rechnitz wrote to U.S. District Court Judge Alvin Hellerstein ahead of his December 2019 sentencing hearing. Rechnitz was facing up to 20 years in prison and millions in restitution.

Rechnitz blamed his actions on his naivete and a work culture that rewarded social climbers. “While living in New York City, I wrongly felt pressure to become a big shot,” he told the judge. “I was in my late twenties, and big people in the real estate industry were dealing with me. My ego was big, and I so badly wanted to impress these people in order to advance my career and profile.”

Family and friends focused on the new, redeemed Rechnitz. His wife, Rachel, promised the judge that her husband had “become a much better, humble, more open and truthful person.” His neighbor and landlord, Joe Englanoff, wrote a letter saying that Rechnitz appeared to be making amends and wanted to leave his past behind. His father, Robert, even tried to accept some of the blame, saying, “It was unfair of me to allow Jona to take so many responsibilities upon himself without my guidance and involvement.”

Judge Hellerstein, however, had followed Rechnitz’s testimony in the other trials and drew his own conclusion. “He cheapens people. He works on their insecurities and their quest for material possessions and just does the opposite. He diminishes people,” Hellerstein wrote in his decision.

Rechnitz’s co-conspirators had already been sentenced. Huberfeld and Reichberg received two and a half and four years in prison, respectively; Seabrook, who took the bribes, was sentenced to nearly five years. Harrington, who had introduced Rechnitz to Chief Banks, was sentenced to two years of probation and 180 hours of community service. (Banks, who appeared to have learned that the feds were closing in and abruptly quit the NYPD a day after investigators applied for a wiretap in the case, was never charged.) In light of those sentences—and how vital Rechnitz had been to the case, according to the assistant U.S. attorney—Hellerstein sentenced Rechnitz to five months in prison and five months’ house arrest, and ordered him to repay as much as $10 million to the union. Rechnitz immediately vowed to appeal and was released on bail. He flew back to Los Angeles and his growing jewelry business.

What’s more, according to court records, Voutsas later got wind that Rechnitz hadn’t sold the jewelry at all, but instead pawned it for a $1 million cash loan.

Peter Voutsas had consigned roughly $7 million worth of jewelry with Rechnitz before the 2019 holidays, including two pieces Voutsas took on memo from another jeweler, David Rovinsky: a 43-carat yellow diamond ring with a $1.9 million price tag, and a 134-carat yellow radiant diamond necklace priced at $1.5 million, according to court filings. Voutsas was told that 16 pieces sold, but by late January 2020 he had yet to be paid for them. What’s more, according to court records, Voutsas later got wind that Rechnitz hadn’t sold the jewelry at all, but instead pawned it for a $1 million cash loan with an interest rate of 6.5 percent per month. On January 21, Voutsas received a series of panicked texts from Rechnitz.

“I’m dealing with a huge crisis now and my dad is at bank trying to sort out issue for me in regards to all this,” Rechnitz texted Voutsas, according to screenshots included in a later lawsuit. “I understand if you never want to deal with me again or see my fave [sic] ever again i’m so sorry.”

As the men texted back and forth, Voutsas learned that other jewelers were hounding Rechnitz for money, too. One of them was Oved Anter, who had consigned seven pieces of jewelry worth $2.8 million to Jadelle, according to a lawsuit Anter later filed. When Anter asked for his money, Rechnitz offered various excuses, and at one point begged for leniency claiming that his mother had suddenly become ill. “Dont say a word paramedics were here. So i’m not in the mood. My siblings dont know. She had a blood clot. Please,” he texted Anter. But by then, Anter had begun to doubt everything Rechnitz told him. “You already use that excuse a few days ago with somebody else,” he responded.

Four days later, Rechnitz texted Voutsas, asking him to keep quiet about any issues between them—particularly since another jeweler had flown in to check on his own diamonds: “I also have Moty Klein in town at the same time while this is all going on which is extra stress as he can’t hear any of this.” Klein, whose name is spelled Moti, was one of the owners of Julius Klein Diamonds, which shared the same office building as JSR Capital in New York. Even after Rechnitz’s criminal conviction, Klein’s son had consigned several jewelry pieces with Rechnitz at the holiday showcase. Now Klein wanted his money, as did David Rovinsky, the jeweler whose pieces Voutsas had loaned to Rechnitz.

On March 18, 2020, Rovinsky sued Voutsas for loaning his jewelry to a known felon. The two settled and in April 2020 filed a joint suit against Rechnitz, claiming that he had stolen jewelry worth $7 million. Anter filed his own suit in June. Each lawsuit echoed the other: stories of early sales followed by bounced checks and pawned jewelry. In his suit, Anter referred to the ordeal as one of “Jona Rechnitz’s blazing trail of Ponzi scheme frauds.”

In fact, according to a separate lawsuit brought by real estate investor Victor Franco Noval, Rechnitz had been bankrolling his company for at least a year on borrowed money. The suit alleged that, in January 2019, Rechnitz had taken out a sizable loan with an astronomical interest rate in Jadelle’s name. He borrowed the money from Noval, who was trying to sell one of the most coveted plots of land in Beverly Hills, known as the Mountain, for $1 billion. In an email exchange coordinated by his lawyer, Noval told me that he was introduced to Rechnitz through their fathers, who worked in real estate. Shortly after, according to Noval’s suit, he gave Rechnitz a $2.9 million loan with a 9 percent monthly interest rate. As collateral, Rechnitz handed over diamonds valued at more than $7 million and a 2012 Bugatti worth $400,000. But in his lawsuit, Noval claimed that by the end of the year, Rechnitz had failed to make any payments on his loan and his debt had ballooned to $5.8 million.

Just weeks after Rechnitz was formally sentenced in New York, according to Noval’s suit, Rechnitz asked Noval’s brother if he could sell the jewelry he’d used as collateral at an upcoming trunk show; whatever profit he made from sales would pay down the loan. Noval allowed Rechnitz to retake ownership of the jewelry pieces for one day, and in exchange Rechnitz wrote two checks, for $2.5 million and $1.3 million.

The day after the trunk show, Noval’s brother went to Rechnitz’s office to collect the jewelry, only to be told that Rechnitz had an interested buyer and wanted to keep the pieces. When Noval tried to cash Rechnitz’s checks, they bounced. Noval filed a report with the Beverly Hills Police Department alleging that he’d been “swindled and defrauded.” A month later, Noval filed his suit against Rechnitz. In it he stated that he believed Rechnitz wasn’t the legitimate owner of the diamonds he’d used as collateral; he suspected that they, too, were on loan.

Noval’s suit claimed that Rechnitz had acted as if he was impervious to criminal convictions, and it blamed his attitude on Rechnitz’s cooperation with federal authorities in New York. “Rechnitz mistakenly believes that this provides him immunity from committing fraud in California,” it read. “The fact that Jona only received 10 months custody time with 5 months house arrest has only emboldened him to commit more fraud, grand theft, and to issue worthless instruments.” Rechnitz and his wife both pled the fifth, declining to provide their side of the story for the record during the proceedings.

In April, Noval joined Voutsas and Anter in filing an involuntary bankruptcy suit against Jadelle Jewelry and Diamonds in an effort to liquidate the company’s assets and recoup some of their money. As proceedings continued into the summer, a motion was filed by an unexpected third party—the Department of Justice. Government attorneys submitted a request for a limited stay of discovery in the trial, arguing that it could jeopardize “parallel civil and criminal” FBI and IRS investigations into Noval “and associates.”

“The government believes that its investigations would be severely compromised if discovery into matters under criminal investigation were permitted, as it would likely reveal sensitive facts,” the filing read. (Additional details were sealed; a judge denied The Atavist’s request to unseal the documents.)

The motion revealed that Noval may have financed real estate transactions and development, including the Mountain, with money stolen from the government of Kuwait and transferred from a bank identified as “AUB” into California accounts. “Based on the government’s present investigation, some or all of the funds for the Noval-Jadelle Transfers appear to be traceable to the AUB Transfers,” the attorneys wrote in the public filing. (Noval’s attorney said that no criminal charges were filed, and the government told him that any criminal investigation related to the properties has been closed.)

The motion also announced that the FBI was separately investigating “the alleged theft or taking by fraud of millions of dollars in diamonds while on consignment with Jadelle.” Agents had recently obtained 31 pieces of jewelry believed reported stolen by jewelers. The pieces were confiscated from the home of a person identified by the initials TT; Fish and Wildlife Service agents had raided TT’s home earlier that month looking for two endangered ring-tailed lemurs, which are illegal to own in the U.S. For those suing Rechnitz, the DOJ’s motion gave them some hope that authorities were looking into Rechnitz’s business in California. But no charges have been filed against Rechnitz for the allegedly stolen jewelry.

Ultimately, the judge denied the DOJ’s request for a stay, arguing that there was no cause to grant it. And after months of legal filings, the trustee appointed to oversee the bankruptcy case moved to dismiss, because it was unlikely to generate any financial recoveries. Instead, the trustee accepted a settlement of $215,000. Noval, Anter, and Voutsas objected, arguing that “rather than proceed with the pursuit of tens of millions of dollars of potentially avoidable and recoverable transfers, the Trustee instead has capitulated and decided to do a deal with the devil, in the process allowing Jona Rechnitz, the perpetrator of this massive fraud, to buy his way out of this case.” The judge dismissed the case anyway.

Voutsas’s and Rovinsky’s case was ultimately settled, and Anter withdrew his suit. (His lawyer said he could not disclose the reason for withdrawing it.) Despite those victories, Rechnitz’s troubles continued to mount. Three more companies sued him for fraud from mid-2020 to early 2021. In all, the six lawsuits against Rechnitz asserted that he owed more than $15.5 million. L.A.’s diamond industry had by now largely blacklisted him, and it seemed as if Jadelle’s reputation was finished. One day in September 2020, Jadelle posted an Instagram photo of musician Justin Bieber wearing its jewels. The caption mentioned “ups and downs.” “We keep pushing and are here to stay. We shall prevail. Love always wins. Thank you to our customers and your loyalty. ❤️,” it read. The day after that post, Jadelle’s Instagram went quiet.

Then, in the spring of 2021, Rechnitz announced a new venture—one that would bring him into the highest echelons of the sporting world.

Jona Rechnitz and Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Chapter 3

On May 5, 2021, Rechnitz called Joe Englanoff, his neighbor and landlord, with a proposition. He was working with Floyd Mayweather to organize a fight against YouTuber Logan Paul. Though Mayweather retired in 2017 with a 50-0 record, the 44-year-old had recently agreed to an unsanctioned fight with the 26-year-old Paul. Rechnitz was now considered part of Mayweather’s entourage, called the Money Team. He’d traded his suits for black T-shirts, “TMT” baseball caps.

“He said to me, ‘You know, I just got off the phone with Floyd, and we have this wonderful opportunity to buy these tickets,’ ” Englanoff told me. If Englanoff fronted some money—about a million dollars—Rechnitz could sell the tickets for up to ten times the face value; Englanoff would get his money back plus 25 percent of the profits. Rechnitz had introduced Englanoff to Mayweather. In fact, Englanoff tried to sell a Bel Air property to the boxer. In 2019, he visited Mayweather’s home in Las Vegas, and joined Rechnitz on a private flight to the Super Bowl aboard Mayweather’s jet. (The boxer did not join them.) Englanoff felt comfortable enough to invest $1.4 million, with Rechnitz acting as Mayweather’s agent.

In June, Englanoff flew to Miami for the fight. When Mayweather stepped into the ring at the Hard Rock Stadium to shake Paul’s hand, he wore a T-shirt bearing the red logo of EthereumMax, a new cryptocurrency Rechnitz was helping to market. The fighter told reporters that he was paid $30 million to wear the logo on his shorts. (According to a press release, EthereumMax would be the “exclusive cryptocurrency accepted for online ticket purchasing for the highly anticipated Floyd Mayweather vs. Logan Paul Pay-Per-View event.”) The match went the full eight rounds and no winner was declared, but that barely mattered: Mayweather reportedly made as much as $25 million from the event. After the fight, Englanoff joined Rechnitz in a hotel room, where Rechnitz sat at a desk tallying bricks of cash, surrounded by armed guards. In one corner, men operated whirring cash counters. “There was money everywhere,” Englanoff told me.

According to the lawsuit Englanoff later filed, things soon began to unravel. Weeks after the fight, Englanoff still hadn’t received a penny for the tickets. At the end of June, nearly a month after the fact, Rechnitz met with Englanoff in person and said that there had been a change of plans: The team reinvested Englanoff’s profits into an August exhibition fight between Yordenis Ugás and Manny Pacquiao in Las Vegas. Rechnitz told Englanoff not to worry, he would now make even more money.

Englanoff didn’t want assurances—he demanded to be paid the amount he was promised. According to the suit Englanoff later filed, Rechnitz agreed to send Englanoff a wire for the profits, and one of his partners would send a check for the original investment. Neither materialized. “Instead,” the suit read, “a series of false statements and excuses began.” First, Rechnitz claimed to be in Hawaii, and said that the wire didn’t come through “because of the different cut-off times.” Then Rechnitz claimed that his account had been locked because of fraud. On July 23, nearly two months after the Mayweather fight, Rechnitz wrote Englanoff a check for $100,000, calling it a “religious act and gesture.”

Eventually, according to the lawsuit, they reached a written agreement: Englanoff would agree to invest in the second fight and receive at least $4.9 million no later than September 6. But when the day came, Rechnitz had bad news: Sales for the event were lower than anticipated. Still, according to the lawsuit, he promised Englanoff $5.7 million within ten days. Again the money didn’t arrive. According to the suit, Rechnitz dispatched his father, Robert, to reassure Englanoff. On the phone, the elder Rechnitz said that he had invested in the tickets himself, and assured Englanoff that his son was good for the money. Englanoff said he told him: “Your son’s running a Ponzi scheme.”

The next day, Rechnitz wired Englanoff another $100,000, calling it an “act of good faith,” according to the suit. Rechnitz followed up with an in-person meeting with his father at Englanoff’s home later that week. There the Rechnitzes said that they had great news. They had reinvested Englanoff’s money into a third match between Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder scheduled for October, and would pay Englanoff a total of $5.8 million, according to the suit. Robert Rechnitz personally guaranteed the full payment. He put his hand on a Torah to drive home the point. But that fight, too, failed to meet financial expectations, according to the suit. Rechnitz reinvested Englanoff’s money in a fourth fight. By then Englanoff no longer believed he’d ever recoup his investment.

But as it turned out, Rechnitz was facing another problem: EthereumMax, the cryptocurrency he’d helped promote during the fights, had gone belly-up—and was about to come under investigation.

Joe Englanoff

EthereumMax launched on May 14, 2021, with copious celebrity endorsements, including Mayweather, Paul Pierce, and Kim Kardashian. Just two weeks after EthereumMax was unveiled, Pierce tweeted that he had made more money since the cryptocurrency’s launch than he had as a commentator for ESPN all year. Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Antonio Brown promoted it on Instagram three days later. That same week, Miami’s Liv and Story nightclubs announced that they would begin accepting crypto as payment—but only EthereumMax. Kardashian shared the announcement on her Instagram.

Despite the hype, EthereumMax lost 93 percent of its value in just two months. In January 2022, ten plaintiffs filed a lawsuit against the company for making false or misleading statements to investors through social-media advertisements that disguised their control over a large percentage of the tokens. “It just stood out as one of the most egregious examples of a crypto scam,” said John Jasnoch, the plaintiffs’ lawyer, when I interviewed him. According to the class action lawsuit, Rechnitz had been instrumental in drumming up publicity for the currency. “EthereumMax’s entire business model relies on using constant marketing and promotional activities, often from ‘trusted’ celebrities, to dupe potential investors into trusting the financial opportunities available with EMAX Tokens,” the lawsuit claimed. “Rechnitz provided … access to several high-profile celebrities that were willing to tout EMAX Tokens in exchange for under-the-table payments.”

The lawsuit alleged that Rechnitz had made hundreds of thousands of dollars from liquidating his EMAX tokens when he knew that promotions were going to drive up the currency’s value. It also said that Mayweather was paid $2.5 million as a “marquee promoter.” (This wasn’t Mayweather’s first brush with crypto, or with legal trouble for promoting it. He’d was fined $615,000 in 2018 for promoting Initial Coin Offerings, another blockchain currency, with DJ Khaled.)

This time the federal government intervened. The Securities and Exchange Commission brought charges against Pierce and Kardashian in 2022, and announced settlements with each—for $1.4 million and $1.26 million, respectively. Neither Mayweather nor Rechnitz were fined by the SEC. Investigators there declined to comment for this story, and wouldn’t confirm whether any investigations into Rechnitz or Mayweather were ongoing.

As Englanoff’s family exited, Rechnitz stared at Englanoff’s 15-year-old son, made a threatening gesture, and yelled, “Do you have something to say to me?”

After eight months of waiting for his money, Englanoff filed a February 2022 lawsuit against Rechnitz and Mayweather for breach of contract, asking for $15 million. Less than a week later, Englanoff claims, he and his family began receiving threats. On February 7, Englanoff parked his Tesla outside his office and tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “I look up and there’s this really big, like six-foot-five thug, and behind him is a second guy, and they said, ‘We’re sent here by Jona. You’re fucking with the wrong guy,’ ” Englanoff told me. (He subsequently made the same claim when applying for a restraining order against Rechnitz.)

In mid-June, Rechnitz filed his own lawsuit against Englanoff, alleging that Rechnitz had been defrauded because Englanoff’s house was in poorer condition than originally stated. (Englanoff had filed a petition to evict Rechnitz from the property.) Two weeks later, Englanoff said, Rechnitz approached him on their street and made what Englanoff considered a blatant threat. “He said, ‘Either you drop the case against me or I’m going to bring up this whole thing about you being a tax cheat,’ ” Englanoff told me. “And I said, ‘Jona, it’s not true. It’s not even close to true.’ His response to me was, ‘Who cares about truth? Once I get your good name through the mud, try and get [it] back. You’ll never get the genie back in the bottle.’ ” (Englanoff reported the incident to the FBI. Rechnitz did not respond to a request for comment on this or any other allegations reported in this story.)

Where once the Englanoffs and Rechnitzes had waved to each other on the street, now every interaction was heated. The feud continued undiminished for nearly a year. In the spring of 2023, Englanoff’s wife was shooting video of the house rented by Rechnitz when he approached her car and began arguing, according to a restraining order request she later filed.

“Now I’m gonna turn ugly quick,” Rechnitz allegedly said.

“Oh, like you haven’t yet,” she responded.

“Oh, you are about to see, I’ve been holding back. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Uh ha, that sounds like a threat, sweety,” said Englanoff’s wife.

To which Rechnitz allegedly responded: “It is a threat!”

Finally, on June 14, 2023, an incident sent the two families over the edge. That night, Englanoff was out having dinner with his family for his mother’s birthday when he saw Rechnitz at the same restaurant. As Englanoff’s family were leaving, Rechnitz stared at Englanoff’s 15-year-old son, made a threatening gesture, and yelled, “Do you have something to say to me?” according to a request for a permanent restraining order filed by Englanoff’s wife the day after the confrontation. In the request, she cited the threats made to her family, writing that Rechnitz “knows dangerous and violent people” who were “not afraid to cause harm to people.” She also noted that her husband had spoken to the FBI about the harassment.

Rechnitz offered an alternative version of events in a statement he gave the court, claiming that the teenager had made faces at him throughout dinner. “It appeared that the Englanoffs had enlisted the teenager to vex me and cause an incident to erupt,” he wrote. (Englanoff briefly received a temporary restraining order. In July 2023, a separate request for a long-term restraining order filed by Englanoff’s wife was dismissed without prejudice when neither party appeared for a hearing. After an August 2023 hearing for Englanoff’s request for a long-term restraining order, a judge ruled that he had “failed to sustain [his]burden of proof,” ordered him to pay $15,000 in legal fees to Rechnitz, and dissolved the temporary restraining order.)

On the same day as the restaurant confrontation, a bizarre YouTube video of Englanoff had appeared online. It was titled “Exposing LA’s Biggest Tax Cheat,” and was produced by an influencer named Spencer Cornelia, whose channel has more than half a million subscribers. Most of Cornelia’s more than 500 videos focus on juicy celebrity lawsuits and wily scams. The ten-minute clip about Englanoff, which as of this writing had more than 116,000 views, argued that Englanoff illegally claimed he resided in Nevada to avoid paying state income tax. (Englanoff denied these allegations and told me that he offered to show Cornelia his tax records.)

It wasn’t the first video Cornelia posted about Englanoff—it was the replacement. The first, still viewable on the media-sharing platform Rumble, was about Englanoff’s lawsuit against Mayweather for the proceeds from the fight tickets. After Cornelia uploaded it, he got a call from Rechnitz. “The defendants in the case reached out to me and said, ‘Hold on, everything in that lawsuit is false, and here’s the proof,’ ” Cornelia told me. “That led me down a pathway of looking into Englanoff and making a video on him.” Cornelia uploaded the new video and then did something he said he’d never done before: He registered multiple URLs incorporating Englanoff’s and his wife’s names and embedded the YouTube video on them. He denied that Rechnitz paid him to do so, but Cornelia told me, “Admittedly, I’ve hung out with Jona a couple times.”

That September, Englanoff told me, he was followed as he and his wife drove to a sushi restaurant in the San Fernando Valley. Halfway through their meal, Englanoff told me, two large men walked into the restaurant and threatened him. “They started screaming at me, ‘Hey, you tax cheat. Hey, Floyd’s gonna fuck you up. Jona’s gonna fuck you up,’ ” Englanoff said. “I take my phone and I flip it on them, and it’s kind of like turning on the lights on cockroaches—they start to scatter and get out of there.” (Englanoff showed me soundless security footage in which the men left once Englanoff started filming them, retreating to a black SUV outside.)

Ten days later, Englanoff says, his 20-year-old daughter was approached by a man in the parking lot outside her doctor’s office. She called her father, terrified. To Englanoff the message was clear: We can get at your kids.

Englanoff reported both incidents to the FBI and provided the license plate of the SUV in the restaurant footage. He said that two FBI agents came to his home to interview his family and told him that a recent federal law against cyberbullying might be applicable. Later, an agent sent Englanoff a photo and asked his daughter if it was the the man who’d approached her. She said that it looked like him, but Englanoff has yet to hear anything more from the agency. (The FBI declined to comment.)

In the summer of 2023, something rare happened to Jona Rechnitz: He lost in court. In June, a judge granted $17.7 million plus interest to Noval, the real estate developer. “Ultimately the jewelry was never returned, and the loan was not repaid,” the judge wrote in his decision. He concluded: “There is no doubt in the court’s mind that the jewelry was taken by fraud.”

The victory seemed to pierce what Rechnitz’s alleged victims had come to believe was his impenetrable veneer. But Noval still had to collect the money, and Rechnitz claimed that he didn’t have it. Noval and his lawyer needed to file subpoenas to prove that Rechnitz was wrong—but doing so would take time and a lot of money.

Enter Joe Englanoff. By October 2023, Rechnitz had finally moved out of the Beverlywood house, but Englanoff was still waiting for a trial date for his own lawsuit. He and Noval shared the same lawyer, who now approached Englanoff with a proposition: Instead of waiting on his own judgment—and for Noval to be paid first—Englanoff could buy a controlling interest in the Noval settlement. Noval was tied up in his own legal battles with the federal government, but Englanoff had money to spare. The two hammered out an agreement. Englanoff registered a company to be the official party to the judgment, entitling him to any money collected from Rechnitz. He tauntingly named it Pay Up JR.

Since then, Englanoff’s team has received hundreds of pages in subpoenaed bank accounts associated with Rechnitz. Statements from September 2022 to September 2023 show payments to LLCs that Englanoff’s legal team says can be tied to Rechnitz, including $7.6 million from billionaire Robert Smith, who is producing a documentary series on Mayweather, and nearly $6 million paid to a company called Mayweather Promotions. The records also show payments totaling $680,000 to Rachel’s father. The bank statements from that year alone reveal transactions totaling tens of millions of dollars—more than enough to pay what the court ordered.

As Englanoff continues his efforts to recoup his money, two new lawsuits alleging Rechnitz’s involvement in fraudulent schemes were filed in the past nine months. The first, by Miami jeweler Leonard Sulaymanov against Mayweather, the rapper Tyga, and Mayweather’s Money Team, claimed that Rechnitz represented himself as Mayweather’s exclusive agent in a scheme to take watches and jewelry worth $4.15 million without paying a full or fair price. Though the lawsuit alleged that Mayweather posted images of himself wearing the jewelry on his social-media account, the jeweler claimed that he was never paid. (The case was voluntarily terminated in December 2024.)

The second suit, filed on behalf of a Miami digital artist named Jayson Winer, alleged that Rechnitz and his associates promised they could get Mayweather to use his close ties with billionaire Elon Musk to persuade the tech mogul to purchase Winer’s art and to reverse a shadow ban on his posts on X. (Rechnitz told Winer that Mayweather trained Musk for a much-hyped boxing match with Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg that never materialized.) All it would cost, Rechnitz told Winer, according to the suit, was several million dollars.

As it happened, Winer worked at Platinum Partners in New York around the same time Rechnitz helped illegally transfer funds there from COBA. Despite Rechnitz’s reputation, Winer told me, he initially trusted him. If Rechnitz knew a boxing champ, why not a billionaire? Winer said that he only came to believe it was a scam when the duo kept asking for more money up front without connecting him with Musk. In his response, Rechnitz admitted that he’d told Winer that Mayweather could arrange a call with Musk about Winer’s collection for a price, but denied any wrongdoing. (Mayweather did not respond to requests for comment.)

Instead, Rechnitz filed a counterclaim arguing that Winer failed to pay for services rendered by Mayweather. “To feed his celebrity obsession, Winer promised funds he knew he did not have for the chance to make himself and his ‘art’ known to Musk,” the counterclaim alleged. It went on to say that Winer “launched a scorched-earth defamation campaign falsely accusing Counter-Plaintiff Jona Rechnitz of extorting him.” The suit is ongoing.

Chapter 4

Though it has been nine years since Rechnitz pled guilty in the New York COBA case, he has yet to serve any time in prison—even as his co-conspirators were given years. In July 2023, he successfully overturned his 2019 sentence of five months in that case when a court ruled that Judge Hellerstein should have recused himself because he had a close relationship with a witness in a related case. Sentencing was reassigned to Judge Katherine Polk Failla, who ruled in October 2024 that Rechnitz only owed the correctional officers’ union $891,000—some $9 million less than in the judgment handed down by Hellerstein. But Failla has yet to rule on how much prison time Rechnitz will serve; she delayed the hearing eight times over the course of two years. The next date is set for June 2025, though most believe that it, too, will be deferred.

 “Jona’s pretty much judgment-proof. He is the Jewish John Gotti,” said Andrew Smith, the lawyer representing the Miami jeweler who sold the watches to Mayweather and Tyga. “He gets charges brought against him. Then he turns out to be a confidential informant and he gets charges relaxed.”

The delays and inaction have led many to believe that Rechnitz may be protected by authorities. Several jewelers say Rechnitz claimed not only that he was a prolific government informant in New York—but that he was still working in that capacity.

Smith believes that the clearest indication that Rechnitz has some sort of influence with the government is that he has yet to be sentenced in the COBA case. “Jona robbed the New York City corrections officers pension fund. I mean, that’s as bad as stealing from the FBI, right?” said Smith. “You don’t get indicted, take a plea in 2016, and not get sentenced for nine years,” said Smith. “It doesn’t happen.”

The delays have incensed those who sued Rechnitz, many of whom wonder how he managed to escape prison time and further criminal indictments for years. “Rechnitz, a serial informant for the Justice Department, appears to believe that he can defraud victims with impunity, relying on his relationship with the Government to protect him from liability,” Winer’s January lawsuit read.

There have been at least 13 suits filed against Rechnitz or his companies since he moved to Los Angeles, but the courts have only ruled against him in two of them. Others were quietly settled. The EthereumMax class action has a trial date scheduled for January 2026. Englanoff lost his case against Mayweather last summer—the jury didn’t find sufficient evidence that Englanoff had entered into a contract with Mayweather’s production company. But a trial date against Rechnitz and other listed co-conspirators is set for July 2025.

For now Rechnitz remains free, and his alleged victims are left to commiserate with one another over a shared WhatsApp chat where they monitor what Rechnitz and Mayweather have been up to through social media and online articles and videos. The two met with injured Israeli Defense Force soldiers in Jerusalem last October; they were seen courtside at an L.A. Clippers game in early March; and Mayweather even thanked his “close friend” Rechnitz on a recent Fox Business appearance promoting a new line of workout supplements.

The FBI has not charged Rechnitz with any additional crimes. Some hope that will change soon. In January, Winer told me, two district attorneys flew to Miami to interview him about his lawsuit, with an FBI agent joining via Zoom. The Department of Justice then subpoenaed Winer to provide documents before a grand jury in Los Angeles at the end of February as part of a criminal investigation being conducted by the DOJ’s Criminal Division, Fraud Section, according to a copy of the subpoena obtained by The Atavist. But federal grand jury proceedings are secretive, and the government won’t comment on them—or even confirm their existence.

Several jewelers say Rechnitz claimed not only that he was a prolific government informant in New York—but that he was still working in that capacity.

“I cannot go on record,” Jona Rechnitz told me when I first spoke to him last summer. “I am a government witness, and I cannot be making public statements.” But, he added, he’d been thinking about talking anyway: “I did my homework on you. And because you’re an independent and you’re not controlled by anyone, that’s why I said, ‘You know what? Maybe I will actually take her call and respond to her.’ ”

We agreed to meet at Lamalo, a Kosher restaurant near Beverlywood. When I followed up by text the day before, he replied: “I think I have Covid! I’m getting tested if I’m ok then yes.” He texted later to say that, indeed, he was sick. We rescheduled for mid-August, only for Rechnitz to text me the weekend before that he was traveling and could no longer make it. We agreed to a time two weeks from then, but again he canceled. The fourth time we were supposed to meet, he texted me that morning, explaining that his flight had been canceled and it would have to wait until the following week. When I asked him for a new date, he didn’t respond.

I eventually did speak to Rechnitz face-to-face. After spending weeks at the small Santa Monica courthouse for the ongoing Pay Up JR lawsuit, I had all but abandoned hope that Rechnitz would ever appear. But as I sat amid the fold-down seats of the damp courtroom one foggy Monday morning, in he strode with his wife, Starbucks cup in hand. Rechnitz was dressed in a black T-shirt, black jeans, and black Vans. Rachel carried a plush Chanel bag. Englanoff followed shortly after, dressed in a suit, quiet and subdued. The Rechnitzes said little as their lawyer fought attempts by Englanoff’s team to force the release of more of Jadelle’s financial records.

I caught up to Rechnitz afterward and introduced myself. Towering over me, he smiled, as if we’d already met dozens of times. He waved off his worried lawyer, who cautioned him against speaking with me, and took me aside in the hallway. He asked me if Englanoff had said anything to me. I shrugged. “He won’t. He’s a tax cheat and has much too much to hide,” Rechnitz said. “Have you seen the videos about him? I’ll send you the link.” He promised me he’d be available following Yom Kippur; he had a lot to tell me. But after a few more days of fruitless texts, I lost hope of ever getting a sit-down interview. (While Rechnitz initially agreed to answer questions during the fact-check process for this story, he ignored a detailed list sent both by email and by text.)

The first time we spoke, last summer, Rechnitz did offer brief explanations for the more than a dozen lawsuits filed against him or Jadelle. The jewelry he had taken on memo from various jewelers back in 2019? He says his office was robbed. “That was a lot of merchandise, OK, but I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody, because it was an active police investigation, FBI investigation,” Rechnitz told me. But he didn’t clarify the alleged date of theft or provide proof that he’d filed a police report. (The Beverly Hills Police Department said that it had no record of any theft complaint by Rechnitz between December 2019 and August 2020. The FBI wouldn’t comment.)

Furthermore, he claimed he had proof of his innocence: The U.S. Attorney had called him a “victim” in a letter. But when I found the letter in question, written by Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Axelrad, it did not include the word victim. Instead, it read: “The United States Attorney’s Office for the Central District of California (‘USAO’) has informed you that, based on the USAO’s current investigation and information known as of this date, Jona Rechnitz is considered a witness in any investigation relating to Jadelle Jewelry.”

Before we ended our call, Rechnitz told me that my article was focusing on the wrong angle. “Your real story is how shady the diamond district is,” Rechnitz said. “They’re all bullshitters hiding behind beards and yarmulkes.”

CLARIFICATION: After publication, the Atavist learned that the Englanoffs filed a second restraining order request that was denied after a hearing. The story has been updated to reflect that information.


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The Crash of the Hammer

The Crash of the Hammer

How concerned citizens ran a neo-Nazi out of rural Maine.

City on Fire

Love, Interrupted

The Atavist Magazine, No. 154


Kelsey Rexroat is a San Francisco–based editor and writer. Her fiction and nonfiction has appeared in The New Yorker, The Atlantic, LitHub, The Hairpin, and McSweeneys Internet Tendency.

Editor: Jonah Ogles
Art Director: Ed Johnson
Copy Editor: Sean Cooper
Fact Checker: Alison Van Houten
Illustrator: Musubu Hagi

Published in August 2024.


Ashwini Naidu knew when her car was going over the Golden Gate Bridge, because the rumble of the pavement beneath her changed. She sat in the passenger seat, fully reclined, and clenched her eyes shut. From the driver’s seat, her coworker updated Ashwini on their progress—a quarter of the way across, halfway—until, finally, Ashwini was in the clear.

When they’d started out on their hour-long, southward journey from Sonoma to San Francisco earlier that day, Ashwini was driving. She had intended to follow a circuitous route that would take them over the Richmond–San Rafael Bridge into the East Bay, then west across the Bay Bridge into the city proper. Circumventing the Golden Gate would add 30 minutes to their drive, but Ashwini didn’t care about that. She didn’t realize that her GPS had rerouted them until she noticed the Marin Headlands rising above the highway. She knew what that meant: The bridge loomed ahead. Without hesitating, she pulled her car onto the shoulder of the freeway.

“You have to drive,” she explained to her bewildered coworker. “I can’t see the Golden Gate Bridge.”

Ashwini, who was in her mid-thirties, had never laid eyes on the iconic structure in person. It wasn’t for lack of opportunity—by 2023, she had been living in the Bay Area for three years. The soaring vermilion bridge is one of the first sights that most transplants tick off their must-see list, and Ashwini’s work took her all around San Francisco. Avoiding even a glimpse of it took effort. But Ashwini had made a promise to another woman 7,500 miles away: She would not see the bridge until they were finally hand in hand.

Before she moved to San Francisco—before she fell in love, before she even knew what being in love felt like—Ashwini lived in the vibrant metropolis of Bengaluru, more commonly known as Bangalore. She was gregarious, with a natural curiosity about everyone she met that helped her make friends easily. She was also ambitious. While attending an all-girls Catholic high school, she cofounded a company that offered arts programs for kids.

It was also in high school that Ashwini realized she was attracted to girls. Her feelings seemed natural to her, and she never questioned them until other girls at school began giggling and teasing one another about their crushes on boys. She worried what they would think if she revealed that she didn’t feel the same way, so she kept her romantic inclinations to herself. “I did not even know what being gay meant,” Ashwini said. “The idea of marrying a woman was unfathomable at that time, at least for me.”

Before British colonization, India had a history of tolerance toward diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. That ended with the 1860 passage of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which criminalized “carnal intercourse against the order of nature” as an “unnatural offense,” punishable with a fine and up to life in prison. Although the law didn’t specifically refer to homosexuality, it was interpreted as outlawing same-sex relations. In practice, consenting adults were rarely charged under Section 377, but it was used as a tool for harassment, discrimination, and blackmail against people who fell outside the bounds of heteronormativity.

When a female classmate confided to Ashwini that she had a crush on her, Ashwini was initially alarmed. She told the girl that being together was impossible. In time, however, the shock and bewilderment softened. Ashwini noticed how her heart fluttered when she was around the girl, and she started to crave their moments of connection—even if pursuing them meant hiding their burgeoning relationship. “I don’t know what this is,” Ashwini told her, “but can we promise each other that no matter what happens, we won’t give up on our friendship? Let’s just dive into this and see where it takes us.”

Ashwini’s father often said that if something was done in secret, there must be something wrong with it. He was a stay-at-home dad raising Ashwini and her younger sister, Shalini, while their mother worked. He always listened attentively to Ashwini when she talked about her problems, and he offered encouragement and advice. More often than not she listened. But she pursued her clandestine relationship without her dad’s knowledge. In fact, Ashwini told no one about her girlfriend.

The two girls kept their friend circles separate and were careful not to draw attention to themselves in public. In private their inhibitions fell away as they sought refuge in each other. They sat together in their bedrooms and spun dreams of a shared future: living together in a cozy home until their hair silvered and their faces became etched with wrinkles. They even chose names for their imagined children. “It was a very intense, emotional relationship,” Ashwini said.

Those conversations made Ashwini’s heart pound with both exhilaration and trepidation, because even as she allowed herself to dream, a sense of hopelessness would settle over her, a dark cloud that obscured the future. The life the two girls imagined didn’t seem possible in India. Perhaps, her girlfriend suggested, Ashwini could pursue an engineering degree in the United States. Maybe on another continent, far from the confines of home, their love could blossom freely.

Then one day their shared vision was shattered. “I think I’m straight, and I think you’re straight, too. This whole thing was a big mistake,” Ashwini’s girlfriend told her. The words landed like a blow and seemed to confirm Ashwini’s worst fear: that to feel the way she felt, something must be wrong with her. Perhaps her dad was right about what people did in secret. Perhaps, at her core, she was shameful.

Ashwini began to question her worth. She thought about how disappointed her friends and family would be if they knew the real her. Some days she wondered if she would be better off dead.

Ashwini stayed in India for college, earning her degree in industrial engineering, then began her career. She dated men and had one relationship that lasted several years. Her boyfriend declined to introduce her as his partner to his friends, and Ashwini’s friends and her sister insisted that she deserved better. Such red flags didn’t bother her, however. The relationship was just a way to ignore how she truly felt.

In high school, Ashwini had joined the drama club, and she later acted in a few plays and did voiceover work. She knew how to assume the role of a character, to adopt mannerisms and deliver lines convincingly. By dating a man, she told me, “I had the perfect script. But I didn’t feel that anything was natural. It was not coming from the bottom of my heart.”

Meanwhile, a national debate over gay rights in India was simmering. In 2009, when Ashwini was 21, LGBTQ+ activists achieved a significant victory when the Delhi High Court held that Section 377 violated the country’s constitution by depriving citizens of the rights to equal treatment under the law, to privacy, and to freedom of expression. The decision was a response to a lawsuit filed eight years earlier by an HIV/AIDS advocacy organization called the Naz Foundation, and it effectively decriminalized consensual intercourse between same-sex adults.

The ruling was a significant but short-lived step toward equal rights in India. Public attitudes toward LGBTQ+ lifestyles were still predominantly negative. Following the court decision, a poll conducted by the Hindustan Times and the CNN-IBN television network found that 73 percent of Indians thought homosexuality should be illegal. A coalition of conservative religious and political groups appealed the High Court ruling to the country’s Supreme Court on the grounds that “homosexuality was an offense against public morality and Indian cultural values.” In December 2013, the Supreme Court reinstated Section 377. A panel of judges criticized the High Court for “its anxiety to protect the so-called rights of LGBT persons,” whom it claimed made up only “a minuscule fraction” of Indians. Thousands of advocates gathered across the country to protest the decision, many wearing black arm bands and waving rainbow flags.

Ashwini prided herself on keeping up with the news, but when it came to the headlines about Section 377, she read as little as possible. That doesn’t apply to me, she told herself.

What she believed did apply to her was marriage. She wanted a life partner and all the things that came with it—the stability, the mutual support, the shared history. “I come from a household of a very good marriage,” she said. Growing up she had observed her parents’ devotion to each other in a million small ways. Her father had fixed her mother coffee each morning, and the pair would drink from steaming mugs while discussing the day ahead. Her dad bought her mom saris and helped her drape and adjust the complex garments as she got ready to go out. When Ashwini’s mom left for work, her dad stood on the balcony and waved at her until she was out of sight. At the end of the day, he’d await the first glimpse of her returning home.

Ashwini thought that the only hope of achieving something similar to what her parents had was marrying a man, so she didn’t balk when they suggested an arranged marriage. Their union had been arranged, after all, and they were progressive enough culturally that Ashwini knew she’d be able to veto anyone they presented who didn’t suit her.

Marriage would be the ultimate acting role for Ashwini, but she hoped that it would also be her salvation. She sometimes pictured herself in the ocean, swimming as far away from her true self as she could, yet never finding safe harbor. Marriage to a man could be a lifeline, connecting her to the kind of life she wanted—or thought she did. “I was feeling hopeless,” Ashwini said. “That’s when I just gave up and I said, ‘Let’s do this.’ ”

She and her parents were ready to begin the search for a husband, but first Ashwini wanted to go on a trip—a final adventure before she became a man’s wife. She wanted to go to the mountains of India, but not in order to mimic the trope she’d seen in movies: Woman retreats into nature and discovers herself. Rather, the trip would be one last chance to escape the weight of having to hide her identity. “I just wanted to get away,” Ashwini said. “I wanted to get out of my life.”

Ashwini’s sister, Shalini, had some time off before starting a new job and decided to join her. At the last minute, Ashwini’s friend Shinara decided to come along as well, but she suggested they go to Nepal instead. Ashwini’s solo trip at home was now a group expedition abroad. Still, she was eager to make the most of it.

It was morning when the trio arrived at a backpackers’ hostel in Thamel, Kathmandu’s tourist district. The streets outside were choked with honking cars, swerving mopeds, and pedestrians fanning out in every direction. Ashwini, hungover and sleep-deprived from a pre-departure get-together with friends, browsed the notices on a bulletin board while her sister and friend checked in. When the female manager asked for Ashwini’s passport, she walked over and tossed it on the counter without looking up. “Oh, hello,” the woman’s voice rang out. “It’s OK to not be rude.”

The words yanked Ashwini from her fuzzy headspace. She knew that under normal circumstances she would have greeted the manager warmly and riddled her with questions, and she quickly apologized. “Whatever,” the woman muttered. She had long, dark hair and a confident gaze. She studied Ashwini’s passport for what struck Ashwini as longer than necessary.

Their rooms wouldn’t be ready for several hours, so Ashwini, Shalini, and Shinara settled into the hostel’s adjoining restaurant. As they drank Nepal Ice beer, Shalini began sending her sister over to the front counter on various pretexts: Ask the manager to charge our phones. Ask where the good sightseeing is. Shalini had long suspected that Ashwini liked girls, even if her sister never admitted it outright. “At the time, I was just messing with Ashwini,” Shalini said.

Soon Ashwini caught the manager glancing her way from time to time. Shalini noticed, too. Then Ashwini’s cell phone, plugged in at the front desk, began blaring, “Wake up … Wake up ….” Ashwini leapt from her seat to silence it.

“Why is your alarm set to wake up at two in the afternoon?” the manager asked.

Ashwini explained that she was an account manager for an internet security company in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and she had to be at her office during the American workday. She sensed disapproval in the woman. In South Asia, people who work for American companies can have a reputation for being spoiled and entitled.

Another guest walked by and asked the manager how she was feeling. She reassured the guest that she was fine. “Is something wrong?” Ashwini asked.

“Do you need to know everyone’s stories?” the woman replied.

Ashwini figured she couldn’t make things worse at that point, so she plowed ahead. “Well, I’m on vacation. My room isn’t ready. I have nothing else to do. So if you want to offload it with me, you could just tell me what happened.”

The woman paused for a moment and then said that a confrontation with a coworker had upset her.

“What would make it better?” Ashwini asked.

“A drink,” the woman answered.

Ashwini pointed out that they served drinks at the adjoining restaurant. “I can’t drink while I’m working,” the woman said.

“What time do you get off work?” Ashwini asked. She was going to be at the hostel anyway. Maybe they could get a drink together.

The woman agreed.

Srijana Khatri, who goes by Shree, was Ashwini’s opposite in some ways. She was introverted and reflective, more comfortable in her own company than in large groups, though she was fiercely loyal to her family and her close-knit circle of friends. Her patience and nurturing demeanor, coupled with a gift for listening, made people who’d just met her feel at ease.

Growing up, Shree split her time between Kathmandu and the rural mountain district of Okhaldhunga. Her parents worked for the military, and she was raised primarily by her grandparents, from whom she absorbed an old-soul influence. When she realized that she was gay, she kept it to herself. She wasn’t sure how her family would react. Compared with surrounding countries, Nepal was relatively progressive on LGBTQ+ issues. In 2007, the year Shree turned 13, a Supreme Court ruling made Nepal the first country in South Asia to recognize the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. A few years later, in 2011, Nepal became the first country in the world to include a third gender category on its census. A new constitution, adopted in 2015, prohibited discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity. But national law stopped short of recognizing gay marriages, and to many people same-sex relationships remained taboo. Shree knew of gay people who were thrown out of their homes when they came out to their families.

One day when Shree was 16, her grandfather told her he knew that she was different from other girls. If there was something she wanted to tell him, he said, he was ready to listen. Shree had already envisioned the possible outcomes of confiding in him, and not all of them were positive. “I was overwhelmed, because I didn’t expect him to understand,” she said. Still, Shree decided to be honest with him. To her surprise, he quickly accepted her and even offered advice on navigating the road ahead. The news about her sexuality soon spread through her family, and though her parents asked for some time to adjust, everyone supported her.

As a teenager, Shree had two relationships with women. One never evolved past the casual-dating phase. The other, with a woman seven years her senior, ended when the woman’s family arranged for her to marry to a man. This is just how it is, Shree told herself, meeting the disappointment with characteristic equanimity. She knew that the pressure of family expectations could be intense.

After high school, Shree enrolled in college to pursue a degree in business and finance. Then, on the eve of exams in her final year, she began having seizures. She was diagnosed with epilepsy and spent the next year in and out of the hospital, before doctors found the right medication to stabilize her condition. The ordeal left her feeling daunted about returning to school. She took a job at the hostel instead, managing the property and sometimes covering the front desk.

Shree wasn’t sure why she agreed to have a drink with Ashwini. She’d been in a bad mood all day. Perhaps it was Ashwini’s warm eyes and refusal to be cowed by Shree’s terseness that won her over. She figured, why not? The two women made plans for the following evening.

Then a problem arose. The afternoon of the day Shree and Ashwini were supposed to meet up, Shinara announced that she’d booked a side trip to visit Pokhara, a popular lakeside city six hours from Kathmandu. She, Shalini, and Ashwini would be leaving together that evening on an overnight bus. Ashwini protested. She was the type to always show up when she said she would, even if it was to have a drink with a woman whose name she didn’t yet know. Shinara eyed Ashwini skeptically. She knew that her friend liked women, but she wasn’t about to forgo the Pokhara trip for someone Ashwini had just met. Besides, Shinara said, the woman had helped her book the bus tickets—she knew that Ashwini would be leaving that night.

Ashwini relented. On her way out, she went to the front desk to apologize to the manager, but no one was there. A taxi arrived to take Ashwini, Shalini, and Shinara to the bus station, and while loading their bags they asked about return service when they got back to Kathmandu. The driver said that would be no problem and instructed them to call the hostel manager when they arrived so that she could send for him. He gave them the woman’s number.

Ashwini was so relieved that she now had the chance to apologize for her sudden departure that she forgot to ask the driver for the manager’s name. She saved the number under “Oh, Hello.”

The three women boarded the bus, and the streets of Kathmandu soon gave way to a dark, hilly landscape. The screen of Ashwini’s phone glowed as she pulled up the number she’d saved.

Hey, this is Ashwini, she typed into a new chat.

A moment later her phone chimed.

Ashwini who? Should I know who you are?

Ashwini blushed with embarrassment. Then Shree let on that she was joking.

I’m sorry I didn’t stay back today, Ashwini wrote.

It’s OK, Shree replied. They agreed to try meeting up again in a few days, when Ashwini would be back in Kathmandu for 24 hours before her flight home. Then Shree tested the romantic waters. She wasn’t sure Ashwini was gay, but again she figured, why not?

I have a bad habit when I drink, Shree texted. I like to flirt.

OK. Let’s flirt with the whole town. Let’s paint the town red, Ashwini texted back.

Shree sighed. Subtlety was not going to work apparently. She tried again.

Especially with girls, she wrote.

Sunk down low in her bus seat, Ashwini felt her chest tighten with excitement. Only a few days earlier, she had told her parents to begin the process of an arranged marriage. Years of running away from her sexual orientation had left her exhausted. Shree’s words sent a jolt of energy through her.

Ashwini recalled something that had happened earlier that day. She’d visited the Pashupatinath Temple on the banks of the Bagmati River, where devotees and pilgrims gather to offer prayers and seek blessings from Pashupati, a manifestation of Shiva. The space was adorned with intricate wood carvings and golden spires. The heady fragrance of incense hung in the air. A priest had instructed her in sankalpa, which he translated as making a wish.

Ashwini had hesitated to complete the ritual. She believed in God, but she could never bring herself to pray for anything. Who was she to make requests when God knew what was best for her? But when she put her forehead to the ground in the temple, she felt a desire welling up inside. God, she prayed, once in my lifetime, I want to experience love the way it should feel.

Now, staring at her phone on the bus, she thought that this was her chance, maybe the only one she would get before returning home and getting married. She typed back: When did I say I have a problem with that?

When Ashwini returned to Kathmandu, she and Shree shared a scooter to a café. Ashwini drove while Shree sat on the back and held Ashwini’s waist. Shree was struck by the scent of Ashwini’s perfume—it was fresh and clean. I could smell this forever, she thought.

Ashwini inundated Shree with questions during the ride. When Ashwini learned that Shree was only 23, she balked a little inside. Ashwini was 29. Surely the six-year age gap meant that Shree was too young for them to have much in common. But when they sat down to a lunch of steamed momos, Shree talked about her grandparents and how much she loved spending time with them. She seemed mature beyond her years.

As the two women got to know each other, an unfamiliar giddiness spread through Ashwini’s body like a fizzy drink. It all felt so natural. She wasn’t reeling off a scripted version of what she thought she should be saying. She was just being herself.

Evening descended, and the women made their way to a bar near the hostel. As they sipped their drinks, two local men came over to say hello to Shree. Soon after, Ashwini’s sister and friend walked in. The sight of Ashwini at a table with Shree and two unfamiliar men made them uneasy. Ashwini was relatively well-off, visiting a poor country. What if these locals were planning to take advantage of her somehow? Shalini and Shinara called Ashwini over and voiced their concern: What did Shree want, exactly?

“Relax,” Ashwini told them. “I spent the day with her. She’s different.”

Only a few tables away, Shree could hear the women arguing, and she walked over to them. “Hey, guys,” she interrupted, “I think I’m going to call it a night.” She politely excused herself and walked out.

Ashwini rushed into the street and found Shree a few blocks away. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I want to apologize for my friends’ behavior.”

“Stop,” Shree said. She told Ashwini that she hadn’t left the bar because she was angry. She was glad that Ashwini had people who cared about her enough to look out for her. But she didn’t like drama, and she had to work in the morning. So she said goodnight. Ashwini returned to the bar. It was now midnight, and her plane home was departing at 5:30 that morning. Ashwini decided that she wouldn’t be on it.

“Listen,” she said to Shalini and Shinara. “I’m not going back to India.”

The other women erupted. “What nonsense!” said Shalini. “You don’t just fall in love with somebody in a foreign country. You think I will leave you here and go back home?”

Ashwini was adamant. She’d spent years overthinking every decision in her life, but in that moment her brain was quiet. She knew that she wanted to stay. Something was happening with Shree, something she hadn’t experienced before, and she wouldn’t walk away from it when it had barely begun. Even just a few more days might be enough to bring the picture into focus, for better or worse.

The following day, Ashwini greeted Shree at the front desk and explained that she hadn’t boarded her flight. “If I stay here for five days, will you hang out with me?” she asked.

A mixture of excitement and disbelief washed over Shree. This woman was rearranging her life to get to know her. She was touched, and she wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t take time off with so little notice. Instead, she agreed to see Ashwini before and after work.

For the next five days, they spent all of Shree’s free time together. Shree brought breakfast to Ashwini’s room each morning, and Ashwini explored the city during the day. When Shree clocked out, they’d meet at a restaurant and spend hours roaming the labyrinthine alleys of Thamel. They talked about past relationships, family, and their religious beliefs, connecting over their shared Hindu culture.

Ashwini was struck that Shree didn’t seem to hide any facet of herself. It made Ashwini feel her own inhibitions more keenly than ever. When Shree reached for her hand at a restaurant, Ashwini reflexively pulled away. She was unsure of the local laws, she explained, and wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection.

At the end of the five days, Ashwini left Nepal with her thoughts in turmoil. A safe but passionless future awaited her in India; Shree represented the opposite. But she’d told Shree, “You deserve someone who can hold your hand in public and not be shy about it.” Ashwini didn’t know if she could be that person, no matter how much she wanted to.

Now 1,100 miles apart, the two women texted and called each other incessantly. Shree wanted more. She knew that Ashwini was on the cusp of an arranged marriage, which had already cost Shree one relationship. “I like you,” she told Ashwini after a few weeks. “But if it’s a no, that’s fine. We should stop talking right now.”

Ashwini wasn’t sure what to do. She knew the risks she faced: Walking away from an arranged marriage would almost certainly require coming out to her parents, and once her orientation was no longer a secret, who knew what kind of condemnation or rejection she might face—personal, professional, or otherwise? Plus, she would have to learn to accept herself for who she was. The alternative, however, was a life without Shree.

A few days after Ashwini’s 30th birthday, she video-called Shree. Looking at Shree’s face, she knew that she was ready to make the leap. Ashwini asked Shree to be her girlfriend.

A Threat and a Promise

In August 2018, Shree visited Ashwini in India. Ashwini worried how they would mesh in her home environment, particularly when easygoing Shree saw how driven she was in her career. But having Shree in her apartment felt natural. The women discovered that they both loved to cook, and they spent many evenings delving into new recipes. When they dined out, they dissected the ingredients of dishes and strategized how they might re-create them at home. Shree listened to Ashwini talk about her work and offered advice and encouragement. The two women discussed moving in together, but Ashwini couldn’t find a good job in Nepal, and Shree’s family had discouraged her from moving to India while same-sex relationships remained illegal there.

Then, the month after Shree’s visit, responding to petitions requesting a review of its earlier ruling, the Indian Supreme Court unanimously struck down Section 377. Intercourse between adults of the same sex was no longer illegal. “Criminalizing carnal intercourse is irrational, arbitrary, and manifestly unconstitutional,” said justice Dipak Misra as he delivered the decision. Outside the courthouse, LGBTQ+ advocates hugged and cheered. Two months later, Shree quit her job at the hostel, left Nepal, and moved into Ashwini’s apartment. She found work at a nearby motorcycle shop.

Despite the court’s decision, Ashwini was nervous about living with Shree. India remained a conservative country, and Ashwini worried about being rejected or ostracized if she came out. She introduced Shree to her parents as her roommate and avoided having coworkers and acquaintances visit her at home. When the housecleaner came, Ashwini told Shree, “Don’t be in the same room as me. Don’t be too close with me. Behave like we are friends.”

Shree found herself tiptoeing around her own home. “I was so scared in the beginning,” she said. She had come to India for Ashwini but felt like she was being asked to hide who she was. “All the time we were together in Bangalore, we never held hands in public,” Shree said. “That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Still, Shree was patient and forgiving by nature. She remembered stories of people who’d been disowned for coming out to their families. She knew how much Ashwini’s family and career meant to her. “Each of us has our own coming-out journey,” she told Ashwini. “Just because we are together, it doesn’t have to accelerate yours. Whatever your journey is, all I’m asking is to go with you.”

Ashwini wanted to lead an open life someday, but in the meantime there was a more pressing matter: Her parents still wanted to find her a husband. When she’d returned from her trip to Nepal, she’d informed them that she’d changed her mind about arranged marriage. She wasn’t ready to tell them about Shree, so instead she took aim at the institution itself. “Marriage is bullshit,” she told her parents. “Half of them end in divorce. I make a good income and don’t want to risk getting stuck paying alimony to some man.” As Ashwini tried to bury the topic, she considered her parents’ ages. They were in their late sixties. Perhaps they’d be gone before the real reason for her resistance became apparent. The thought brought a guilt-tinged sense of relief.

Ashwini’s parents were bewildered by her sudden hostility toward marriage. They broached the topic whenever she visited, so over time she saw them less and less. One day her mom asked her to meet for coffee. It was an unusual request—Ashwini didn’t drink coffee—but she agreed. The two women barely spoke as they sipped their beverages. It was only when Ashwini was driving them home that her mom opened up. She spoke about an older woman in their family who had never found a partner and now lived in lonely solitude. “I worry about that for you,” she said. Ashwini’s mom turned her gaze out the car window. “I’m not asking you to get married because I’m worried about what our friends say or what society says,” she continued. “I’m asking because I don’t want you to grow old without companionship. I want you to have what I’ve found with your father.”

I have that already, Ashwini thought.

“You’ve got to give me a reason,” her mom said. “You can’t just say you don’t want to get married.”

Silence hung in the air. They had already reached the house, but Ashwini continued driving around a nearby lake. They could go in circles forever, Ashwini thought, or she could jump off the ledge she was standing on. “It’s because I don’t like boys,” she said at last. Another long pause followed before her mom asked, “Are you trying to tell me you like girls?”

“Yes,” Ashwini said.

And then she told her mom about Shree. Once the words began, they tumbled out. Ashwini talked about how hard the years of secrecy and shame had been, how she’d even considered taking her own life, and how everything had changed when she heard Shree’s voice at the hostel in Kathmandu. Ashwini had always been on the move, always striving, always running away from herself. Shree was teaching her how to embrace stillness and be comfortable in her own skin. “I feel like I can breathe now,” Ashwini said.

Ashwini’s mom asked her to drive to a nearby store. She went in, bought three pairs of shoes, and got back in the car. Ashwini, still reeling from her confession, waited for a reaction, but none came. “Mom, I just shared the most intimate part of my life,” Ashwini said. “Do you have anything to tell me?”

“I’m not saying anything because my blood pressure is very high right now, and I can feel that I need my medicine,” her mother replied. “Can you drive me home?” She didn’t say another word until they’d walked inside. Then her mother turned to Ashwini and said, “Don’t tell Dad anything. Let me break it to him.”

Ashwini didn’t sleep that night. The next day her dad called. “Your mom told me something very big,” he said. He invited her over for lunch. When she arrived, he began to talk about one of his favorite Bollywood actors, who had come out in support of the transgender community. He mentioned how, in Mumbai, trans people have a prominent place in some cultural traditions. He also talked about how hard their lives could be.

Ashwini struggled to follow where the conversation was heading. “Dad, get to the point,” she interrupted. He looked at her directly. “Did we miss something biologically when you were born?” he asked.

Ashwini realized that he was confused, that he thought she might not identify as a woman. “Dad, I’m just a girl like any other girl, but I like girls. This is just who I am,” she said. She explained that before she met Shree, she felt like she would have been happy with only a fraction of the devotion he and her mother shared. But with Shree, she had found all of it. Now she couldn’t settle for anything less.

Her father’s eyes seemed to soften, and Ashwini sensed that she had connected with him. “You’ve been the perfect daughter,” he said. She had excelled in her education and career. Other parents in the neighborhood told him that they wanted a daughter like Ashwini.

Then her father dashed her hopes. “All the right you’ve done has been made wrong with this one thing,” he said. “I’m never going to be OK with it.”

Ashwini left the house in tears. She had always been close to her dad. “He was my hero all my life. He was my go-to guy. And I didn’t have him this time,” she said. “That really, really hurt me.”

Despite how they’d reacted, Ashwini stayed in contact with her parents. When she tried to discuss anything related to the LGBTQ+ community, they looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. But grappling with a gap in understanding was better than not seeing her family at all—Ashwini loved her parents and didn’t want to lose them.

Shree and Ashwini continued living together while hiding their relationship from most people. Then one evening, while Ashwini was home alone getting ready to go to a friend’s party, there was a knock at the door. She opened it to find two men in plain clothes, one holding a notebook. They introduced themselves as police officers and pelted her with questions: What company do you work for? Where is your office? What is your phone number?

“Why do you need this information?” Ashwini asked. They gave a vague answer about crime in the neighborhood. Cold dread spread through her body. Why were they really there? Were they even police officers? Two of her male friends had come out to her a few years earlier, and they’d told her stories about harassment: how people showed up at gay Indians’ homes pretending to be police or media, gathered information, then threatened to expose them to their employers and families, sometimes extorting them for money. Ashwini’s tech job and the upscale neighborhood she lived in made her a target.

She knew she could ask for the men’s IDs to verify that they were law enforcement. She also knew that in India male officers must have a female officer present to approach a woman after 6 p.m.—she could ask the men to leave and return with a female colleague. But Ashwini was rooted to the floor in fear, and any words of reproach were stuck in her throat. She tried to appear casual as she answered the men’s questions.

When they asked, “What about the girl who lives with you?” her heart sank. Ashwini hadn’t told her landlord about Shree. How did these men know? Ashwini gave the strangers a few basic details, and finally they turned to go. “Be safe,” one of them said. The words hung in the air as Ashwini closed the door.

Ashwini went to her friend’s party, but her mind was miles away. She tried to smile and make small talk, but her unease grew as scenarios played out in her mind. Eventually, the roar of anxiety in her head drowned out the music and conversation. Without saying goodbye, she walked out the door and drove home to Shree.

Ashwini woke Shree up when she arrived. The two women spoke in hushed voices as they discussed the encounter and what it meant for them. They had attracted the wrong kind of attention; the apartment no longer felt safe. The front door was bolted, but the presence of the men seemed to lurk just beyond it. How long would it be before they returned?

Shree felt especially vulnerable—she had come to India alone, with Ashwini as her sole support system. “I don’t feel free here,” she said. The words unsettled Ashwini, and she felt a strong sense of guilt. The women sat next to each other in heavy silence. Then Shree asked, “Do you think our lives would be different in a country that accepts us?”

As if the universe had heard Shree’s question, the next day Ashwini learned that her company was hiring for a position similar to hers in California. Suddenly, moving to another country—one where same-sex relationships were legal—felt like a real possibility. Ashwini interviewed for the job and got it.

Ashwini and Shree came up with a plan: After Ashwini left for the United States, Shree would pack up their apartment in India and return to Nepal to begin the process of obtaining a U.S. visa. At the same time, Ashwini would find an apartment for them in San Francisco. They hoped to reunite in about a month.

Before her departure, Ashwini and Shree celebrated Ashwini’s birthday with friends who knew about their relationship. One of them persuaded Shree to wear a dress to the party despite her preference for more casual clothes. After everyone gave gifts to Ashwini, the guests told Shree it was her turn—not to give a present, but to receive one. They pulled her to the center of the room and had her close her eyes. When she opened them, Ashwini was kneeling in front of her holding a watch engraved with the words “Marry me.”

“Srijana Khatri,” Ashwini said, “you had me at ‘Oh, hello.’ ”

Shree hesitated for only a moment. Being the center of attention made her want to run, but she didn’t have any doubts about her love for Ashwini. Shree said yes. They would start their new life together, engaged, in San Francisco.

The couple knew little about the city. Shree had heard from guests at the hostel in Kathmandu that it was an open-minded place. And Ashwini was aware that the Bay Area was a hub for technology and innovation. The only concrete thing they could picture was the Golden Gate Bridge, and once they’d decided to move, it seemed to be everywhere. Magnets depicting the bridge already adorned their fridge, souvenirs from Ashwini’s colleagues who’d visited the U.S. On their coffee table sat a book of photography—a gift from a friend—with the bridge on its cover.

The structure came to symbolize the life they would soon be building together. Shree urged Ashwini to visit the Golden Gate once she’d arrived in San Francisco, but that didn’t feel right to Ashwini. She wanted to see it for the first time when they were side by side. She vowed to wait until they were together again.

The Separation

Ashwini moved in January 2020. She stayed in downtown San Francisco while hunting for an apartment. On weekends she took in the local sights—the Ferry Building, Lombard Street, the city’s Museum of Modern Art—but never the Golden Gate Bridge. Meanwhile, in Nepal, Shree discovered that she needed a letter from the motorcycle shop where she’d worked in India confirming her employment. She returned to India in mid-March to get the letter, only packing enough clothes for the two nights she planned to crash on a friend’s couch. She hoped that the short setback wouldn’t delay her reunion with Ashwini.

By then news of COVID-19 was sweeping the globe, as the virus wormed its way through China, Europe, and the U.S. Before long it was everywhere. In San Francisco, shelter-in-place orders were announced on March 16, closing all but essential businesses. In India, Shree had already checked in for her return flight to Nepal when the Indian government sealed the borders and restricted movement inside the country. She was trapped.

Shree felt angry. She had left her job, her family, her country for Ashwini. Now she was stuck in India while her fiancée was thousands of miles away. She felt like she had nowhere to turn. Where would she stay until flights resumed? Even friends were cautious about letting anyone but immediate family into their homes.

As she sheltered in San Francisco, Ashwini felt helpless. All she could do was make a list of every hotel and hostel in her old neighborhood and call them one by one to see if they had space for Shree. The hotels weren’t accepting new guests; the hostels were asking current ones to leave.

She’d hit dead end after dead end when Ashwini received a call from her parents. Their relationship remained strained; her decision to move to California hadn’t helped. But her parents knew that Shree was stranded in their city, and they asked Ashwini if she had a place to stay. Ashwini replied that she was figuring it out, but they weren’t satisfied with her answer. “That girl trusted you and came to Bangalore. You’re responsible for her safety, and you’re not here,” her mother said. “So, by virtue of being your family, we are responsible for her safety. Ask her to move in with us.”

Ashwini was stunned. She knew how meaningful it was for her parents to invite Shree into their home. She ran the idea past Shree, who was dubious. “This is the craziest thing we’ve done yet,” Shree said. But there were no other options.

When Shree showed up at the house with nothing but her backpack, Ashwini’s parents welcomed her with cool politeness. They were fond of the kind, considerate young woman they’d known as their daughter’s roommate. Now that Shree was engaged to Ashwini, they weren’t sure how to act around her—a living reminder of their daughter’s sexual orientation was sitting on their couch, using their bath, sharing a room with Shalini. “At least for two weeks, all of us were very awkward,” Shree told me.

Shree made a strong effort to connect with her hosts. Ashwini’s parents were older and particularly vulnerable to COVID, so Shree helped with the shopping and other errands. She cooked for the family, making momos and other Nepalese dishes part of the household’s meal rotation. She practiced yoga with Shalini to stay active. She ate lunch with Ashwini’s father and shared tea with her mother as the evening shadows lengthened.

Shree also began accompanying Ashwini’s mother to the local Hindu temple, which remained open for worship. It was a 20-minute walk away. “She would talk and I would listen,” Shree said. “She really liked that.” Shree also spoke at length with Shalini, who had been wary of her ever since Ashwini had chosen to stay behind on the girls’ trip to Nepal. Sharing her room with Shree, Shalini’s perception shifted. “We started to see each other in our own light,” Shalini said. “I got to find out more about her, her past, what she likes, her principles, her beliefs, and she got to see those things in me.”

Most important, Shalini recognized Shree’s devotion to her sister. She saw how they balanced each other and carved out spaces in their lives for their relationship every single day. She saw in their sacrifices expressions of love. Soon she was joking with Shree, “Come on, you can do better than my sister.”

India’s ban on air travel was extended week after week. When the government began allowing some flights, tickets were hard to come by and prices were exorbitant. Shree’s brief stay of a few weeks turned into ten months. It wasn’t until January 2021 that she was able to return to Nepal and resume her visa application process.

Saying goodbye to Ashwini’s family was bittersweet, because they’d come to accept Shree as part of their lives. “She’s very compassionate,” her mother told Ashwini one day. “She’s very smart.” Shalini had grown to care about Shree like a second sister. “I’ve always said that while Ashwini fell in love with Shree, I chose to make Shree my family,” Shalini said.

Ashwini found that avoiding the Golden Gate Bridge was no easy task. San Francisco is compact and hilly. The bridge rises 746 feet above the bay; on a clear day you can glimpse its distinctive towers peeking above the skyline from almost anywhere. Ashwini navigated the city with determined precision, keeping vigilant track of where the bridge stood in relation to her and avoiding vantages that might be intruded upon by its iconic silhouette.

Ashwini moved from one short-term apartment to another before she found a permanent place in Pleasanton, about an hour outside the city. She was in no danger of seeing the bridge from there, but sometimes she had to drive into San Francisco for client appointments. When she crossed the Bay Bridge between Oakland and San Francisco, about ten miles east of the Golden Gate, she focused on the car in front of her so she wouldn’t see the bridge out the passenger-side window. When she started a hiking group with friends, she avoided outings in places where the bridge might be visible.

Ashwini and Shree never expected their separation to last as long as it did. In Nepal, Shree’s visa appointment was postponed again and again. She worked at the hostel to make ends meet. Ashwini visited her twice, staying a month each time. They rented a furnished apartment together, shopped for groceries, cooked paneer and curries, and watched cricket on the couch, with Shree explaining the intricacies of the sport to Ashwini. They playacted at normal life. Then Ashwini had to go.

During her second visit, Ashwini’s parents also traveled to Nepal to meet Shree’s family. Everyone gathered at Shree’s aunt’s house for an enormous lunch and then sat in the living room to talk. Although they spoke different languages, the two families managed to communicate through gestures and expressions. Afterward, everyone retired to various rooms for a nap. “Shree and I were in a cousin’s room,” said Ashwini. “We were just lying on the bed, looking at the mountains, thinking, ‘Can you believe that our families are having an afternoon siesta together under the same roof?’ We were in disbelief.”

Everyone went to temple that evening. Before they parted ways, Shree’s mother asked her to translate a question for Ashwini’s parents: “Ask them if they like my daughter.” Ashwini’s father answered simply: “She is also our daughter.” They were words neither Shree nor Ashwini ever imagined they’d hear.

Days later, Shree quit her job at the hostel when her employer asked her to work instead of taking her scheduled vacation time while Ashwini was still visiting. It was a principled stand, but a foolhardy one: Her long-awaited visa appointment was coming up in a few months, and being unemployed could be seen as evidence of financial instability, diminishing her chances of getting government approval to spend time in the U.S. It didn’t matter that Ashwini could support her, because they weren’t yet legally related.

Ashwini called the lawyer working with her and Shree. “What if she were my wife?” Ashwini asked. The lawyer confirmed that this would help at the appointment. It would be best if they married in an English-speaking country, so that the paperwork wouldn’t need to be translated.

Ashwini went back to the U.S. and put together a spreadsheet. She found 30-some countries that had legalized same-sex marriage. Only a handful allowed foreigners to marry there, and of those, there were three English-speaking countries that seemed like a good fit: the UK, Australia, and Canada. Ashwini was hopeful that Canada would work, but she discovered that the wait for a visitor visa could be as long as six months. Her shoulders slumped with defeat, and she returned to the drawing board.

Then a friend she hadn’t heard from in a while called. As it happened, the friend was in Los Angeles waiting to board a flight to Australia, where several of her Indian family members would be joining her. She said it had been easy to get them all visas. It only took a week, and it didn’t require going to a consulate or embassy—everything could be done online. Ashwini rushed to her computer.

In less than a month, both Shree and Ashwini had visitor visas for Australia. They arrived down under in March 2023 and were married on a beach south of Sydney, with only their photographer, a videographer, an officiant, and a local friend in attendance. Rain had darkened the skies throughout the preceding week, but the sun emerged on their wedding day, casting a warm glow over the turquoise waves. Both of them wore tailored pantsuits: Shree’s was powder pink, Ashwini’s dark teal.

Standing hand in hand in the sand, they said their vows. “The road to today has been a long and arduous one,” Ashwini told Shree. “I’m forever grateful for your love, patience, and trust. On this beautiful sunny day, with the mighty Pacific Ocean as my witness, I promise you that I will not rest until we get you home where you belong with me.”

In return, Shree said, “Today I want to start by telling how much I love you. And I thank God every day that you have given all of your love to me. You have moved mountains for our love.” As the officiant pronounced them wife and wife, they kissed and then raised their arms and cheered.

A month later, Shree arrived at the U.S. embassy in Kathmandu and sat down for her visa appointment. She was applying as a dependent rather than a visitor. Nervous about saying anything that might hurt her chances of getting approved, she’d reviewed a long list of questions that might come up. But the official only asked three things: What does your spouse do? When did you get married? Do you have some photographs? After looking at the photos, he said, “OK, you’re approved.”

Shree thought she must have misunderstood. She and Ashwini had withstood bigotry, three years of COVID lockdowns, countless long-distance calls, and a seemingly endless wait broken up by only the briefest of reunions. Surely the end of that saga would involve more than three simple questions.

“Did you say approved?” Shree asked.

“Yes,” the official said, already shuffling aside Shree’s paperwork for his next appointment. “You can collect your document from the bank in about a week.”

The Bridge

Shree landed at San Francisco International Airport in June 2023. Ashwini picked her up and they drove north on highway 101, straight to the Golden Gate Bridge.

They wore matching gray tees that read “Love Wins” in rainbow-colored cursive. As they approached the bridge, they pulled off at Crissy Field and spread out a picnic blanket. Ashwini had packed a San Francisco–themed lunch of avocado toast on sourdough bread. They clinked plastic cups of sparkling water together and looked up at the expanse of steel stretched before them.

A bank of fog hung low over the Marin Headlands in the distance, and they zipped up their jackets against the late-spring chill. Ashwini thought about the massive feat of engineering that had brought the bridge into being. Perhaps, with modern tools and technology, it wouldn’t be so hard to build it today. But in the 1930s, the endeavor had taken steadfast vision to overcome years of obstacles and setbacks. Ashwini’s journey to be with Shree felt similar—they’d navigated delays and discouragement to reach a goal that at times felt like little more than fantasy.

Later that summer, the Supreme Court of Nepal allowed provisional registration of same-sex marriages while it considered a case on the matter. (The court has yet to issue its ruling.) Meanwhile, the Indian Supreme Court was weighing a similar decision. The oral arguments in that case had occurred in April and May, and Ashwini had followed the proceedings online. She heard the petitioners argue about why marriage equality mattered and realized that they were expressing ideas she’d never been able to articulate. She remembered the night when the two men who might have been police came to her apartment. “I had this dirty feeling in my stomach. I could not describe what that feeling was,” she told me. “When I was listening to the arguments, I finally found the words. What I felt that night was that I was stripped of my dignity. It was so unacceptable for me.”(In October 2023, the Supreme Court rejected the petitioners’ case; as of this writing, same-sex marriage remains illegal in India.)

The desire to reject indignity was what prompted Ashwini to embark on “this adventure,” as she sometimes refers to what followed, with the woman she now calls her wife. Sitting in Crissy Field, Ashwini smiled at Shree.

“What do you think of the Golden Gate Bridge?” she asked.

“It’s very pretty,” Shree replied.

Neither of them were looking at the bridge.


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القدوم الى أمريكا

بعد ان بُترت أرجلها في غارة جوية إسرائيلية على غزة، اضطرت ليان الباز أن تسافر أكثر من 6000 ميل بعيداً عن كل ما تعرفه لكي تتعلم كيف تمشي مجدداً. 

القدوم الى أمريكا

مجلة ذا اتافيست (The Atavist)، العدد 153


رنا ناطور هي صحفية ومنتجة فيديوهات حائزة على جوائز. نُشرت القصص التي انتجتها على برنامج ساعة الاخبار على بي بي سي (PBS Newshour)، وعلى الجزيرة بالإنجليزية، مور بيرفيكت يونيون (More Perfect Union)، واخبار سكريبز (Scripps News). كما نشرت كتاباتها في صحف كالغارديان (The Guardian) وفايس نيوز (Vice News). كما حصلت على ترشيح لجائزة ايمي مشترك لمساهمتها في حلقة خاصة لبرنامج نايتلاين (Nightline) بعنوان “الازمة في سوريا.” حازت مقالتها بعنوان “زوجة مُطلق النار” على جائزة من جمعية الصحفيين العرب والشرق اوسطيين.

ايمان محمد هي مصورة صحفية فلسطينية من غزة، تملك شغفا في التصوير ينبع من تراثها. بدأت مسيرتها من خلال توثيق الحياة تحت الاحتلال الإسرائيلي، وعرضت صورها في صحف الغارديان (The Guardian) ولو موند (Le Monde) وواشنطن بوست (The Washington Post) وغيرها من المنشورات، كما تم اقتناء اعمالها في المتحف البريطاني في لندن ومتحف هارن للفنون التابع لجامعة فلوريدا. وحصلت على زمالة تيد العليا عام 2019. كما نشرت سيرتها الذاتية المصورة بعنوان شقوق عدستي (The Cracks In My Lens) في عام 2022.

المحررة: سيوارد داربي
المخرج الفني: إد جونسون
محرر النسخ: شون كوبر
مُدققة الحقائق: ليلى حسان
المُترجم: عمار عوينة

Published in July 2024.


كانت دينا عساف تجلس في سيارتها المركونة خارج مطار اوهاير الدولي تترقب بينما يفتح باب صالة المطار ثم يغلق مرةً تلو الأخرى. وكانت قد سعت جاهداً مع زوجها بهاء للتحضير لهذه اللحظة لحد الإرهاق. وفي الكرس الخلفي للسيارة كانت بناتهم الثلاثة المفعمات بالحيوية يترقبن. البنات الثلاث سارة وسلمى وسرين كنّ قد وضعن علامة على هذا اليوم المنشود – السابع عشر من آذار /مارس 2024 – على الرزنامة قبل أسابيع عدة وكن سعيدات بقدوم هذا اليوم اخيراً. وكن يتدافعن كي يروا الأبواب بشكل أفضل وكل واحدة منهن كانت تأمل ان تكون اول من يلمح الشخص المُنتظر. هذا الشخص هو فتاة صغيرة مثلهم بلغت الرابعة عشرة من عمرها قبل ثلاثة أيام من وصولها. وحسبما قيل للأخوات إنها شخص غاية في الأهمية.

 الفتاة اسمها ليان الباز ذات الانف الدائري الصغير والصوت الخافت. معظم ما تعرفه عائلة عساف عن حياتها جاء من فيديوهات منشورة على الانترنت. في احدى المقاطع وصفت ليان فقدانها اثنتين من أخواتها وابنة اختها وابن اختها في غارة جوية إسرائيلية على غزة. كانت الفتاة تستخدم كرسي متحرك بسبب الإصابات التي تعرضت لها في القصف، والتي أجبرت الأطباء على بتر ساقيها. في فيديو اخر، صورته وكالة فرانس برس (Agence France-Press) بعد فترة قليلة من الغارة الجوية، ظهرت ليان ووجهها مُرقش بالحروق، تقول راجفةً وهي تتشبث بقناع الاكسجين بإحدى يديها “اُريدهم ان يعطوني أرجل حقيقية. لا اريد أطرافاً مزيفة.”

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ولكن، إذا تمكنت ليان من المشي مرةً أخرى فلن يكون هذا ممكناً الا باستخدام الأطراف الصناعية، وللحصول عليهم أتت للولايات المتحدة. عرضت مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال في شيكاغو، وهي مستشفى مختصة بطب العظام للأطفال عليها العلاج مجاناً. وبالرغم من كونهم غرباء تماماً عنها، إلا أن عائلة عساف فتحوا منزلهم لاستضافة ليان خلال فترة تلقيها العلاج.

سارة، أكبر بنات عائلة عساف، تبلغ من العمر 12 عاماً، مما يعني ان دينا وبهاء لديهم خبرة مباشرة في التعامل مع فتاة مراهقة تمر بدوامة من التغيرات. ولكن بالإضافة لهذه التغيرات كانت ليان تصارع اصابتها بعجز دائم وفقدانها لأحبائها على مدار أشهر من الحصار الإسرائيلي الوحشي على غزة، كما شهدت فظائع لا يراها إلا الجنود على جبهات القتال. لم تتوهم دينا ان استضافة ليان ستكون سهلة ولكنها اخبرتني: “لكني توقعت أكثر حزناً نوعاً ما.”

وعندما خرجت ليان من أبواب مطار اوهاير اخيراً، خزن بهاء الكرسي المتحرك في الصندوق ووضع ليان في الكرسي الخلفي بجانب بناته. دينا، والتي كانت تجلس في كرسي السائق، صُعقت عندما تحدثت ليان لأول مرة.

“ما صوت الطنين هذا؟” سألت ليان باللغة العربية، حيث أتت الى الولايات المتحدة دون ان تعرف أي كلمة باللغة الإنجليزية. وكان صوتها يعبر عن الانزعاج.  

ثم أجاب بهاء: “يجب على دينا ارتداء حزام الأمان.”

 “حسناً، ماذا تنتظرين بحق الجحيم؟” صاحت ليان، وهي تحدق في دينا “ارتدي الحزام اللعين. لقد تسببت لي بالصداع.”

تحولت ابتسامات سارة وسلمى وسرين المُترقبة الى عبوس مليء بالقلق، ودينا بدأت تتسأل بذاتها ما الذي ورطت نفسي فيه؟ وبدأت عائلة عساف تكتشف ان ضيفتهم غاضبة لدرجة لا تسمح لها حتى بأن تشعر بالحزن.

ليان الباز تنظر الى انعكاسها في المرأة خلال الرحلة لموعد العلاج الطبيعي في مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال في شيكاغو. الندوب على وجهها ناتجة عن الغارة الجوية الإسرائيلية التي أجبرت الأطباء على بتر رجليها.

في اللغة العربية، يُمكن ان يحمل جذر كلمة مبتور معنى أخر وهو “ناقص،” وهذه تبدو كإشارة انه من الممكن فصل شيئاً محوري للفرد لدرجة انه لا يمكن اعتباره كاملاً بعد ذلك. الشخص الذي يتعرض لبتر تعرض لتغيير عن النموذج المفترض للجسد، كالرواية التي يتم تمزيق فصول منها وتفقد جزءً حاسماً منها.

عند الحديث عن غزة، كل ما نملكه هو قصص مبتورة او فُتات من الحقيقة الكاملة. حتى أكثر نقطة بيانات مفصلية في أي حرب، وهي حصيلة القتلى، ناقصة. في وقت الكتابة، احصت السلطات الصحية في غزة اكثر من 39000 حالة وفاة، ولكن بسبب التدمير الحاصل للبنية التحتية في القطاع، وبسبب وجود العديد من الوفيات المدفونة عميقاً تحت الأنقاض والتي لا يمكن احصائها، فأن السلطات تُشدد في كل تقرير تصدره ان هذه الاحصائيات منقوصة.  في شهر حزيران/يونيو، نشرت مجلة ذا لانسيت (The Lancet) مقالاً يُقدر بأن الحصار الإسرائيلي قد ينتج عنه 186000 وفاة، أي 7.9 بالمئة من سكان غزة. ولكن اكتشاف الحصيلة الحقيقة قد يتطلب عدة سنوات، هذا إذا اكتشفناها اصلاً.

فيما يتعلق بالأطفال، بعض ما نعرفه انه بحلول شهر أيار قُتل حوالي 15000 طفل وأصيب 12000 بينما يُعتبر 21000 طفلاً في عداد المفقودين. فيما يتعلق بالمصابين، قال بعض الأطباء انهم عالجوا أطفال “مُزقت أجسادهم” بسبب القنابل، او سحقوا بسبب المباني المنهارة، او يعانوا من إصابات من طلقات نارية في الرأس. العديد من المرضى الأطفال بُترت واحدة او أكثر من سيقانهم او أذرعهم. لحد الان لا نملك سوى إحصائية وحيدة متعلقة بالصغار مبتوري الأطراف، وهي تقرير لمنظمة الأمم المتحدة للطفولة (يونيسف) يُبين انه بين السابع من تشرين الأول/اكتوبر والتاسع والعشرين من تشرين الثاني/نوفمبر عام 2023، فقد أكثر من 1000 طفل واحد او أكثر من اطرافهم. وقال متحدث باسم المنظمة في شهر حزيران/يونيو ان المنظمة لا تستطيع جمع احصائيات أكثر حداثة “بسبب التحديات الناتجة عن الظروف في الميدان.”

هذا متوقع، حيث يعتبر توفر الاحصائيات الرسمية على نطاق البلد لأعداد الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف عادةً نادراً في معظم الصراعات. ولكن ما هو واضح اننا نشهد أسرع واشد عملية تعجيز جماعية للأطفال في حياتنا. عندما ينقشع الغبار، قد تمتلك غزة أكبر عدد من الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف مقارنة بأي حرب في التاريخ الحديث.

د.غسان أبو ستة، اخصائي جراحة تجميلية وترميمية يختص في الإصابات التي يتعرض لها الأطفال في الصراعات والذي قضى اكثر من شهر في غزة يعمل مع منظمة أطباء بلا حدود في بداية الحرب، متيقن ان هذه ستكون الحقيقة على ارض الواقع. وحسبما قال لصحيفة النيويوركير (The New Yorker)، فأن تجربته في غزة زادت من إصراره على تقييم الحجم الكامل للازمة التي شهدها. أخبرني ابوستة وهو يضع يداه على جانب رأسه خلال محادثة عبر الفيديو من منزله في لندن: “خلال الـ 43 يوم التي قضيتها هناك، قمت بعمليات بتر أكثر ما قمت به خلال 20 عام من عملي كجراح في الحروب. اردت ان افهم الصورة الكاملة لما يحدث.”

بدأ ابوستة بالتواصل مع جراحين اخرين -بعضاً منهم عاد مؤخراً بعد فترة في غزة وبعضهم لا يزال هناك- وواحداً تلو الأخر قدموا تفاصيل تتماشى مع تجربته هناك. ابوستة أدرك ان ما يشاهده هو والأطباء الاخرين قد يؤدي الى رقم قياسي في عدد الحالات، وهذه كانت حقيقة مرة من اسوء أنواعها. وهو يقدر حالياً اعداد الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف في غزة بحوالي 4000 الى 4500 حتى الان.

ولوضع الأمور في سياقها فأنه حسب تقرير لاسوشيتد برس (Associated Press) فأنه خلال عامان ونصف من الصراع في أوكرانيا، فقد حوالي 20000 شخص واحد او اكثر من اطرافهم. وبحسب شهادات الطواقم الطبية والباحثين في مركز أبحاث الأطفال المصابين في انفجارات، وهو مشروع مشترك بين كلية لندن الإمبراطورية ومؤسسة انقاذ الطفل، فأن عدد الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف في أوكرانيا يبلغ حوالي 1200 حالة.

عند النظر لتقدير ابوستة لعدد الحالات من وجهة نظر أخرى وإذا نظرنا لمعدل عدد الطلاب في المدارس الحكومية في الولايات المتحدة وهو 550 طالب، فيمكننا التخيل أن هذا يعادل فقدان كافة الطلاب في 8 او 9 مدارس في منطقة تقريباً بحجم مدينة فيلادلفيا على الأقل واحد من اطرافهم. ونتخيل ايضاً ان عمليات البتر هذه جاءت بالتزامن من وابل من المَآسِي الأخرى كفقدان افراد من عائلاتهم واصدقائهم وجيرانهم ومدارسهم ومنازلهم.

بالإضافة لهذا لنتخيل ايضاً ان الأمل الوحيد لاستعادة أي شكل من الاستقرار الجسدي يتطلب من هؤلاء الأطفال مغادرة بيتهم حيث تم تدمير المصنع الوحيد للأطراف الصناعية في غزة ومركز إعادة التأهيل المرتبط به في غارة جوية إسرائيلية قبل عدة أشهر. ونتيجة لهذا، فأن العديد من العائلات التي بُترت أطراف أطفالهم يسعوا لإجلائهم للحصول على الرعاية الطبية في الخارج. العديد من الالتماسات المستميتة تملأ مواقع التواصل الاجتماعي والقليل منهم يحصل على ما يمكن وصفه بالتذكرة الرابحة للمنحوسين بشدة. الدول التي تستقبل الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف من غزة تستقبل اعداد قليلة جداً نسبياً منهم.

اما الأطفال الذين يجدوا طريقاً للخروج، فعليهم ان يركبوا الطائرة لمناطق بعيدة. وفي حالة ليان، فهذه المنطقة تبعد أكثر من 6000 ميل عن كل ما تعرفه وكل من تعرفه.

تجلس ليان في الكرس المتحرك خلال جلسة علاج طبيعي، بينما تمسك الام المستضيفة دينا عساف بأحد الأطراف الصناعية التجريبية التي ستستعملها ليان لحين تجهيز الأطراف الدائمة.

ترعرعت ليان في منطقة القرارة في ضواحي مدينة خان يونس، وهي الطفلة العاشرة في عائلة مكونة من 11 فرد.  معظم اخوتها واخواتها أكبر بكثير منها ولديهم أطفال تسميهم ليان “الشياطين الصغار،” والذين قاموا في احدى المرات بإشعال النار في الستائر للتسلية بينما كانت أمها ترعاهم. وكان والدها يعمل في مجال البناء في إسرائيل، وهذه تعتبر وظيفة ذات اجر جيد بالنسبة لفلسطينيي غزة إذا تمكنوا من اصدار تصريح. وكان والدها يبقى في إسرائيل خلال أيام الأسبوع ويعود في العطلة الأسبوعية للمنزل، بينما كانت ليان وأخيها الأصغر وسيم يتصارعوا من اجل الحصول على انتباهه من خلال إبلاغه بتجاوزات الاخر خلال غيابه.

ليان بدأت بارتداء الحجاب عندما كانت في الصف الخامس بسبب إصرار اعمامها المتشددين، والذين وصفتهم بأنهم “يتصورا أنفسهم انهم شيوخ.” لم تحب ليان ان يحدد أحداً ما يجب ان تعمله وهو أحد أسباب انسجامها مع صديقتها المفضلة سما. الفتاتان كانتا جريئتان وعابثتان. سما لم ترتدي الحجاب وفضلت ارتداء القمصان قصيرة الكم والبناطيل الضيقة ولم تتردد في رد الازدراء الذي قد يعبر عنه بعض الناس عند مرورها عنهم في الشارع بالمثل.

في بعض الأحيان، كانت ليان وسما يذهبن الى مطاعم في مدينة غزة حيث لا يتعرف عليهم أحد لكي يدعّوا انهن شابات صغيرات كي يروا من سيصدق هذه الخدعة. وكنّ يتحدوا بعضهن البعض في الشِعر ليروا من منهن تكتب مقطوعة شعرية أفضل. في احدى المرات، سرقن كتاب العمل الخاص بأحد المعلمين ووزعوا أسئلة الاختبار على زملائهم في الصف. ولكي يجعلوا صداقتهم المميزة رسمية أعطت سما لليان قلادة مُعلق عليها شمس بينما ارتدت سما قلادة متوافقة مُعلق عليها قمر.

في صباح يوم السابع من تشرين الأول/اكتوبر 2023، كانت ليان في طريقها للمدرسة عندما اخترق وابل من الصواريخ السماء فوق رأسها، مما جعلها تمسك طرف زيها وتركض نحو المنزل. وعند وصولها للمنزل اتصلت بسما.

“هل ستذهبين للمدرسة؟” سألت ليان.

واجابتها سما: “لا، انا خائفة جداً. “

كان منزل ليان قريباً من الحدود مع إسرائيل، وكانت قد اعتادت على البقاء في منزل اختها التي تسكن في عمق مدينة غزة كلما اندلع القتال بين حماس وإسرائيل. وهذا ما فعلته يوم السابع من تشرين الأول/اكتوبر، ولكن هذه المرة ذهبت ولم تعد. بعد مرور بضعة أيام من اعمال العنف، وصل والدا ليان خبراً مفاده ان منزلهم تم تدميره. وسرعان ما أصبحوا كالآلاف من الفلسطينيين غيرهم محشورين في ملجأ للحي ممتلئ عن بكرة ابيه.

وكانت سما تزور ليان في الملجأ. وفي أحد الأيام في منتصف شهر تشرين الأول/اكتوبر تشاجرت سما مع فتاة علقت ساخرة على ما كانت ترتديه. وحينها توسلت ليان لصديقتها لكي تتغاضى عما حصل، ولكن سما رفضت ذلك. وقالت ليان: “سما كانت منزعجة وفي نفس الوقت كانت مكتئبة. وكانت تريد ان تنفس عن غضبها.” قامت سما بمسك الفتاة من كتفها ودفعها نحو الحائط، ثم تدخلت والدة الفتاة وصفعت سما على وجهها. ثم تدخل افراد من عائلة ليان لردع سما ومنعها من الانتقام، بينما تجمع الناس حولهم للمشاهدة.

ابتسمت ليان بينما كانت تسترجع الحادثة. سما كما عرفتها لم تتراجع ابداً.

بعد مرور أربعة أيام على الحادثة، قُتلت سما مع معظم افراد عائلتها بعدما دمرت قنبلة إسرائيلية منزلهم. عندما اخبرتها إحدى اخواتها بوجود شهداء في مستشفى قريب يحملوا اسم عائلة سما، قامت ليان بالاتصال بهاتف صديقتها المحمول مراراً وتكراراً ولكن دون جدوى. وهرعت الى المستشفى ثم رأت والدة سما، لا تزال حية، في الرواق، “وقلت لنفسي حينها، لقد فقدنا سما،” استذكرت ليان.

سمعت ليان الأطباء يخبروا والدة سما انها يمكنها ان ترى ابنتها لأخر مرة، ولكن حذروها من ذلك، لأن جسد سما كان ممزق وسيكون مشهد شنيع. ثم هزت والدتها رأسها رافضة ان تراها.

ولكن ليان ارادت ان ترى صديقتها، ولم “أكن اكترث” بتحذيرات الأطباء حسبما قالت. “سما كانت حياتي كلها.”

ولكن ما رأته ليان لم يكن جسداً، كان عبارة عن “جذع وايدي،” كما روت. ولكنها وجدت الطمأنينة بتسلسل الاحداث هذا لأن سما لم تكن حية لترى ما سيحصل بعد تسعة أيام، حينما فقدت ليان سيقانها. وتقول ليان: “لو رأتني سما هكذا، كانت ستموت من الحزن.”

الغارة الجوية حدثت عند الرابعة صباحا يوم 27 تشرين الأول/اكتوبر. وكانت ليان تسكن مع عدة أعضاء من عائلتها في منزل اختها إخلاص، والتي انجبت طفلاً حديثاً أسمته “عودة،” بمعنى “الرجعة.”   وفي ذلك الوقت كانت ليان مستيقظة وكانت تستعد لمساعدة اختها الأخرى ختام في إعطاء الدواء لابنتها جنى البالغة من العمر خمسة أعوام. وقالت ليان: “كنت اتحرك باتجاهها عندما اصطدم الصاروخ وسقطتُ على الأرض.” ثم انهارت كتلة ضخمة من الاسمنت في الغرفة وكانت كبيرة لدرجة انها تهيأ لها انها ملأت المكان. “ختام وجنى قُتلتا فوراً تحت ناظري،” قالت ليان ” لهذا اليوم الصورة لا تفارق ذهني. حدثت امامي مباشرةً.”

بعد هذا اصطدم صاروخ اخر بالمبنى وشعرت ليان بجسدها يطير في الهواء. عند استرجاع الحادثة، تتذكر ليان بانها كانت تسقط، وتسقط، وتسقط، حيث هوى جسدها من ستة طوابق قبل ان يرتطم بالأرض. على الأرجح أن شدة الاصطدام هي ما هشمت ساقيها لحد غير قابل للترميم. وفي كل مكانٍ حولها، انهمرت الشظايا والحطام كالمطر.

وبعد مرور وقت، نقلت سيارة إسعاف ليان لمستشفى ناصر، وهو نفس المكان الذي شهد ولادة عودة قبل 48 ساعة. تذكرت ليان ان أحد الأطباء كان يقول “الى الثلاجة” كناية عن المشرحة عندما هرعوا لإدخالها، ولكن رد عليه أحد المسعفين قائلاً “لا، لا يزال لديها نبض، ولكنه ضعيف.”

أُخذت ليان لغرفة العمليات، حيث تم بتر ساقيها دون تخدير، لم تعي ما كان يحدث حولها ولم تشعر سوى بالألم الحارق. وكانت تصرخ “اليس لديكم أي رحمة،” ولكن صرخاتها لم تلق مجيباً.

ولكنها لم تستوعب ما حصل إلا في وقت لاحق، عندما كانت مستلقية على الحمالة في المصعد وتحسست مكان القطع في رجلها اليمنى، ثم صاحت “لقد قطعوا أرجلي!”

ما تذكرته بعد هذا هو استيقاظها في غرفة المستشفى، حيث تواجد والداها وعائلتها واصدقائها. “اول شيء سألتُ عنه هو القلادة،” قالت “هي الشيء الوحيد المتبقي لي من سما.” ثم ركضت صديقتها خلود نحو سريرها متبسمة لتطمأنها ثم قالت: “انها معي، يا ليان. سأعطيك إياها عندما تتحسن صحتك.” ولكن ليان علمت بعد هذا ان هذه لم تكُن الحقيقة، لعل خلود كانت تحاول طمأنتها من خلال الكذب عليها. القلادة فُقدت في غياهب الحطام في غزة صحبة هاتف ليان المحمول والذي يحتوي على كل ما تُقدسه من صور وفيديوهات لسما وعائلتها وحياتها قبل الحرب.

سألت ليان والدها عما حدث لمن كانوا في المنزل عندما اصطدم به الصاروخ، لأنها لم تثق بذاكرتها، وأجاب والدها: ” الله يرحمهم.” ختام وجنى لم يكونوا الضحايا الوحيدين للقصف، بل رافقهم إخلاص والرضيع عودة كذلك.

في تلك الليلة حاولت والدة ليان غسل شعرها المتلبد بسبب بقايا الدماء والتراب والحطام، ولكنها سرعان ما يئست من المحاولة.  “بناتها قتلوا، واحفادها قتلوا، كيف يمكن ان يتوقع أحد منها ان تجلس لتنظف شعري،” قالت ليان. بدلاً من ذلك قامت والدتها بإحضار مقص وقص شعرها بالكامل.

ليان تضحك وهي تمسك فاتورة في متجر. منذ إجلائها، قدر برنامج الأغذية العالمي يواجه 96 بالمئة من سكان غزة انعدامًا حادًا في الأمن الغذائي، وإن المنطقة تواجه خطر مجاعة قائم.

في الأشهر القليلة التالية، خضعت ليان لخمس عمليات جراحية، ولم تكن تحت التخدير إلا في واحدة منها.  وحاربت الحمى والالتهابات والاضطرابات الكلوية، ولكن حالتها النفسية المتدهورة كانت أكبر مُسبب للقلق لعائلتها. عندما خرجت من مستشفى ناصر بسبب الحاجة لاستخدام سريرها بعد قدوم موجة جديدة من الضحايا، أعادها والديها الى الملجأ الذي يسكنوا فيه، ولكن كان من الواضح ان ليان لم تكن بحالة تسمح بوجودها حول الغرباء المتلصصين. لذا، اخذوها لمنزل جدها وجدتها، وهو عبارة عن بناية متعددة الطوابق تعج بالأقرباء والأصدقاء والجيران المُهجرين.

ولكن الأمور ازدادت سوءاً، ومجرد النظر الى الناس وهم يمشوا أصبح يُغضب ليان، ورؤية الأطفال يركضوا ويلعبوا كان أكبر من قدرتها على الاحتمال. عمها احمد حاول السيطرة على الوضع وأمر الفتيات الاخريات في المبنى أن “يتركوها لوحدها. ممنوع ان يتكلم أحد مع ليان.” كلما ارادات ان تبحث عن متنفس على سطح المبنى، كان يقوم عمها بإخلاء الممر والمصعد لكي تصل للسطح دون أي عقبات.

 عندما يفقد طفلاً أحد اطرافه فالوقت غاية في الأهمية، حيث ان سرعة الحصول على الرعاية وإعادة التأهيل المتخصصان تزيد من فرصهم في التأقلم جسدياً على المدى البعيد. أخت ليان اريج والتي تعيش في أوروبا بعثت رسائل لعدة اشخاص على أمل ان يقدموا المساعدة. ثم قام أحد الصحفيين يدعى محمد الشاعر بنشر منشور عن ليان على حسابه على انستغرام، حيث يملك اكثر من 100 الف متابع.

وبعد فترة وجيزة، لفتت قصة ليان انتباه رجل امريكي في العقد الرابع من عمره يُدعى ستيف سوسيبي.سوسيبي صاحب العيون شديدة الزراق والبنية المتينة يشبه لاعب كرة قدم سابق أكثر من كونه عامل إغاثة لفترة طويلة، ينحدر من اوهايو وعمل في تسعينات القرن الماضي كصحفي مستقل في غزة، مما الهمه ليؤسس جمعية إغاثة أطفال فلسطين  (PCRF) الخيرية لنقل الأطفال المرضى والمصابين الى الولايات المتحدة الامريكية لتلقي الرعاية الطبية مجاناً. سوسيبي شهد صراعات في غزة في الماضي ولكن يرى ان ما يحدث حالياً مُختلف تماماً، حيث قالً: “انها عملية إبادة جماعية. خلال عملي لأكثر من ثلاثين عام هناك لم أرى أي شيء يشبه ما يحدث حالياً.”

بسبب وجود توثيق مرئي على الانترنت على مدار الساعة للفظائع المرتكبة، قال العديد من المحاميين الحقوقيين أن العالم يشهد إبادة جماعية على البث المباشر. وهذا ما يتفق عليه عدد متزايد من الخبراء القانونيين. في شهر كانون الثاني /يناير، أمرت محكمة العدل الدولية إسرائيل بأن تتخذ “كل التدابير الممكنة في قدرتها لمنع” أعمال الإبادة الجماعية “ومنع ومعاقبة التحريض المباشر والعلني لارتكاب الإبادة الجماعية.” كما أصدرت المحكمة قراراً اخراً في شهر تموز/يوليو ينص ان السياسات الاستيطانية الإسرائيلية في الأراضي الفلسطينية غير قانونية. بالإضافة لذلك فقد قدمت المحكمة الجنائية الدولية طلبات لإصدار أوامر قبض ضد رئيس الوزراء الإسرائيلي بنيامين نتنياهو ووزير الدفاع يوآف غالانت بسبب جرائم الحرب والجرائم ضد الإنسانية، بما يشمل ” تجويع المدنيين كأسلوب من أساليب الحرب،” و ” تعمد توجيه هجمات ضد السكان المدنيين،” و “الاضطهاد،” و “الإبادة.” كما قدمت المحكمة الجنائية الدولية طلبات لأوامر قبض ضد ثلاثة من قادة حماس.

في بداية عام 2024، مع ازدياد القصف على غزة، أطلق سوسيبي منظمة غير حكومية جديد تدعى هييل (HEAL) فلسطين أي منظمة الصحة والتعليم والإغاثة والقيادة لفلسطين. بالشراكة بينهم، تقوم جمعية إغاثة أطفال فلسطين وهييل بإجلاء الأطفال المصابين في الصراع لدول اجنبية، بما في ذلك الولايات المتحدة. وهذا العمل يتطلب كمية هائلة من الجهد والأموال والبنية التحتية التنظيمية. وقامت هييل بإجلاء تسعة أطفال مبتوري الأطراف منذ الخريف الماضي. اما ليان، فقد حصلت على الموافقة لتلقي العلاج في مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال في بداية عام 2024 ثم سافرت الى مصر مع احدى قريباتها للحصول على تأشيرة للولايات المتحدة. منذ ذلك الحين، قامت إسرائيل ببسط سيطرتها على معبر رفح الحدودي مع مصر، مما يعرقل الإجلاء الطبي. وبحسب تقرير من شبكة سي بي اس الإخبارية (CBS News) في تموز/يوليو ، فأن “عُمال الإغاثة يقولوا أن هذا جعل إنقاذ الأطفال شبه مستحيل.” وبالرغم من هذا، فأن هييل تعمل حالياً من اجل نقل 12 طفلاً مبتوري الأطراف لخارج غزة.

معظم المنتفعين من خدمات هييل يسافروا مع مُرافق – اما أحد والديهم او اخد الاخوة الأكبر سناً، على سبيل المثال – ويسكنوا إما في إسكان المستشفى او مع عائلات متطوعة تسكن بالقرب من مكان تلقيهم العلاج. ولكن منظمة هييل ارتأت انه من الأسهل الحصول على مكان إقامة لليان إذا أتت للولايات المتحدة لوحدها. اخت ليان القاطنة في أوروبا، والتي أصبحت نقطة التواص الرئيسية مع هييل بسبب الانقطاعات في الاتصالات في غزة أيدت المنظمة بأن ليان يجب ان تسافر لوحدها إذا عنى ذلك تلقيها الرعاية دون الحاجة للانتظار أكثر. ليان اشتاطت غضباً بسبب سفرها لوحدها قائلة: “الكل أتى مع مرافق. الكل باستثنائي.”

 وصلت ليان الى شيكاغو وهي مُصرة على اثبات نفسها للغرباء الذين ستعيش معهم.

تنزل ليان على السلالم بمساعدة اخصائية العلاج الطبيعي. جراح تقويم العظام المسؤول عن حالتها حذّر انها إذا عادت لغزة سوف تتلف أطرافها الصناعية بسرعة بسبب الركام.

عائلة عساف تنحدر من الأردن، حيث أتت دينا الى الولايات المتحدة بعمر الخامسة وبهاء بسن الثامنة عشر، وتعرفوا على بعضهم في دورة للغة الإنجليزية في الكلية المجتمعية. بهاء البالغ من العمر 40 عاماً يعمل حالياً كرئيس القسم المالي في معرض سيارات، اما دينا البالغة من العمر 38 عاماً فهي ربة منزل. العائلة تتابع الاخبار القادمة من غزة عن كثب وتعارض الحرب، كما شارك بهاء في مظاهرات محلية مطالبة بوقف إطلاق نار. وعلم بهاء عن حالة ليان من خلال صديق لديه ارتباط مع منظمة هييل. وبعد التصويت، اتفق دينا وبهاء وبناتهم بالإجماع على استقبال ليان في منزلهم.

دينا وبهاء كانا عاقدا العزم على جعل ليان تشعر كأنها جزء من عائلتهم وأنها لا تختلف عن بناتهم. وقرروا وضعها في غرفة في الطابق العلوي حيث ينام الجميع بالرغم من توفر غرفة في الطابق الأرضي حيث الوصول أسهل، لأنهم لم يريدوها ان تشعر بالعزلة. كما تأكدوا من وجود نفس إطار التخت والزينة ودمى الحيوانات المحشوة الموجودة في غرف بناتهم في نهاية الرواق.

خلال الرحلة من مطار اوهاير، أعلنت ليان بأنها لا تريد أي علاقة بعائلة عساف وتريد ان تبقى في غرفتها طوال الوقت. وعندما رأت مكان إقامة عائلة عساف، وهو منزل طوب كبير، امتعضت قائلة انه لا بد أن دينا وبهاء يعملوا كتجار مخدرات والا لن يستطيعوا تحمل تكلفة شراء منزل كهذا. ولكن دينا اجابت “كل ما في الأمر اننا نعمل بجد،” ثم قهقهت ليان بصوتٍ عالٍ لدرجة انه أفزع دينا.

رفضت ليان ان تسمح لبهاء بحملها على الدرج للوصول لغرفتها، وبدلاً من ذلك قامت بدفع نفسها للنزول على الكرسي المتحرك وتسلقت على الدرج لوحدها مستخدمة يديها لتأرجح افخاذها من درجة لدرجة ببراعة تضاهي براعة لاعبي الجمباز على عارضة التوازن. وعندما رأت ليان الغرفة التي حضرها لها دينا وبهاء، برقت عيناها وقالت “انها كبيرة،” ولم يسعها الى ان تبتسم ابتسامة طفيفة رغماً عن ذاتها.

بعد هذا أدركت عائلة عساف ان ليان كانت تخشى من العلاج الطبي الذي سافرت كل هذه المسافة لتلقيه، حيث انها قضت عدة أسابيع في المستشفى مسبقاً ولم تريد تكرار هذه التجربة. إلا ان مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال معتاد على التعامل مع الأطفال الذين يحتاجوا للبقاء للمستشفى لفترات طويلة، ومرافقه مهيئة ليشعر الأطفال بأنهم مرحب بهم. ان مجمع المستشفى مُزين بجداريات زاهية ويحتوي على طاولة للعب تنس الطاولة، كما يستضيف “يوم الابطال الخارقين،” حيث يقوم متطوعين بارتداء أزياء خاصة وتوزيع رداءات على للمرضى.

 خلال أولى زياراتها للمستشفى، التقت ليان بالمختصين المسؤولين عن علاجها وهم د.جيفري اكمان، جراح العظام للأطفال، وشون مالك، اخصائي الأطراف الصناعية وتقويم العظام المرخص، وانجيلا غورينو، اخصائية العلاج الطبيعي ذات الشعر الأشقر المائل للاحمرار والطابع البشوش.  ويعمل الفريق عن كثب لمساعدة ليان في إعادة التأهيل ومراقبة كل جزء من جسدها، أي العضلات، والعظام، والأعصاب، والجلد، للتأكد من تأقلمها مع استخدام الأطراف الصناعية في حياتها.

هناك اعتقاد دارج لدى أطباء عظام الأطفال بأنه خلال العمل مع مبتوري الأطراف، إذا طال جلوسهم في الكرسي يبدؤا بالتحول ليشبهوا هذا الكرسي أكثر فأكثر. يريد الأطباء ان يبدأ الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف باستخدام الأطراف الصناعية بأسرع وقت ممكن، وليان قد فقدت وقتاً ثميناً اصلاً. خلال الستة أشهر التي انقضت منذ عملية البتر، لم تتلقى أي علاج طبيعي، كما اختل توازن اوراكها بسبب اعتيادها على الميل على اتجاه واحد عند الجلوس في الكرسي المتحرك. من دون التدخل، يمكن ان يصيبها تقلص في الورك بمعنى حصول تضييق في أنسجة المفصل بطريقة تُثبت جسدها بموضع غير طبيعي للأبد. خلال عملية إعادة التأهيل، تحتاج ليان لارتداء مقوّم للظهر والورك لتصحيح توازن جسدها بالإضافة لارتداء جوارب ضغط للتقليل من الالتهاب في ما تبقى من رجليها. كما تحتاج الى القيام بتمارين الإطالة بشكل متكرر من اجل استقامة الجذع السفلي.

في ذات الوقت، كل واحدة من أرجل ليان شكلت تحدي قائم بذاته يعيق تعافيها، حيث ان رجلها اليسرى بُترت من فوق الركبة أي أن الطرف الاصطناعي على هذه الجهة يحتاج إضافة مفصل ركبة ميكانيكي يجب ان تتعلم كيفية استعماله. اما رجلها اليُمنى فأن الركبة لا تزال موجودة، ولكن الجلد الذي يحيط بها ممتلئ بالندوب ومحتمل أيضا وجود شظايا متداخلة به، مما يُصعب تركيب طرف اصطناعي لها. بالمجمل، فأن تعلم ليان المشي مجدداً يضاهي اتقان آلتين موسيقيتين وعزفهم في ذات الحين.

ليان لم تكن صبورة، وفي اول جلساتها العلاجية، ركب لها الطاقم أطراف تجريبية – وهي عبارة عن أرجل ألية المظهر تستخدم لغايات التدريب – وثم حاولت الإسراع لتصل الى جهاز الركض في الزاوية. “كان هذا حرفياً في اول يوم،” تقول غورينو “لم أكن اعرفها سوى لخمس دقائق حينها.”

ولكن ليان ايضاً سريعة التعلم. في البداية أراد الطاقم ان تبقى في مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال لمدة أسبوعين لتلقي العلاج المكثف، وبعد هذه الفترة تعود لمنزل عائلة عساف لبضعة أشهر تزور خلالها المستشفى في مواعيد دورية. ولكنها قامت بأداء جيد جداً في اول أسبوع وكانت منزعجة بسبب اضطرارها النوم في المستشفى مما دفع الطاقم ليقرر ان تعود لمنزل عائلة عساف مبكراً بشرطٍ واحد، وهو ان تقوم دينا بوعدهم ان تخبئ الارجل الصناعية عن ليان، لأنها قدد تتعرض لإصابة بالغة إذا حاولت استخدامهم دون رقابة.

عندما عادت ليان لمنزل عائلة عساف بعد قضائها أسبوع في مستشفى شراينرز للأطفال، سارة وسلمى وسيرين كنّ يختبئن خلف باب المنزل الرئيسي ثم انقضوا وأطلقوا حفن من الأوراق الملونة عند دخول ليان على الكرسي الذي تجره دينا. في تلك الليلة، دينا اخذت الأطراف الصناعية معها للسرير وخلدت للنوم بوجود الأطراف بينها وبين بهاء.

بهاء عساف، وليان، وسارة عساف (من اليسار الى اليمين) يضحكوا بينما يلعبوا لعبة سكيب-بو خلال ليلة الألعاب العائلية.

ومع مرور الأسابيع، تبدد غضب ليان الموجه نحو العائلة المستضيفة لها، حيث كانت دينا تجيب على نوبات الانفعال دون إظهار مشاعرها، وأصبحت ليان تحترم الحدود التي يتم وضعها لها، حتى لو أصبحت الكلمة الوحيدة التي اتقنتها باللغة الإنجليزية هي “لا.” ليان وسلمى وسارة، وطدوا علاقتهم بسبب حبهم المشترك للتجميل والرعاية بالبشرة. اما سيرين وهي أصغر فتيات عائلة عساف وتبلغ من العمر خمسة أعوام، كانت مبهورة بضيف عائلتها المميز وخبأت الأغراض الصغيرة التي اعطتها إياها ليان في شنتة ظهر مُزينة برسمات فراولة، بما في ذاك حوت لعبة ووعاء من السلايم زهري اللون.

لكن لم تغب غزة عن ذهن ليان، وفي احدى المرات شاركت فيديو مع دينا كانت تشاهده كل ما تشعر بالاشتياق لأخواتها. ويُظهر الفيديو والد ليان يقف بجانب جثثهن بعد سحبها من الركام ولفهن بأكفان على عجل. بدون هاتفها النقال وخزينة صور العائلة المحفوظة عليه، هذه كانت الطريقة الوحيدة التي يمكن لليان ان ترى بها أخواتها ختام وإخلاص.

في عصر يوم ثلاثاء في شهر نيسان/أبريل، تلقت ليان مكالمة هاتفية اعادتها لفظائع الحرب. بينما كانت دينا تقوم بتنظيف المنزل استعداداً لاستضافة إفطار رمضاني بعد نهاية يوم من الصيام، أتت سيرين لها وقالت والصدمة تعلو وجهها “امي، اعتقد ان ليان تعاني من خطبٍ ما.” ثم سمعت دينا الصراخ في الأعلى.

هرعت دينا لغرفة ليان ووجدتها في كرسيها المتحرك. “لماذا يحدث هذا؟” قالت ليان باكية “لقد فقدت الكثير من الناس.”

كانت ليان قد تلقت اتصال من قريبها ليخبرها ان والدها واخاها الأكبر كرم قد قتلوا في إطلاق نار من طائرة إسرائيلية على موقع الخيمة التي كانوا يسكنوا فيها. دينا قالت لليان ان تهدأ وتتنفس، ولكن ليان صاحت: “من سيعتني بعائلتي. من سيطعمهم؟” كان والدها وكرم مُعيلي العائلة وكانوا يعتنوا بأطفال اقربائهم الذين قتلوا في غارات جوية سابقة.  ليان صرخت تستجدي لله متمنية ان تعرف لماذا يحصل هذا.

 ركضت دينا لتبلغ بهاء في مكان عمله واخبرته انه يجب ان يُبلغ جميع المدعوين للعشاء ان العشاء تم الغاءه. وعندما عادت دينا للغرفة وجدت ليان تلطم.

وقالت ليان: “انظري الي. يا ليتني مت بدلاً منهم.”

“لا تقولي هذا،” قالت دينا “لماذا تتحدثي هكذا.”

“انظري الي” انفعلت ليان قائلة بصوت مليء بالازدراء “ليس لدي أرجل.” ثم سألت: “هل يمكنك رؤية وجهي؟” مُشيرة الى ندبة متعرجة تمتد من طرف شعرها لقصبة انفها.

وفي موجة من الحزن وكره الذات استمرت ليان بالقول: “لن أكون طبيعية ابداً. من قد يرغب بزواج فتاة مثلي؟” هل سأطلب من زوجي ان يساعدني بإزالة رجلي الصناعية عند الذهاب للسرير في الليل للنوم؟ من سيفعل هذا؟ من يتقبل هذا؟ إذا كان هناك أحد يجب ان يموت فهو انا.”

 دينا تمكنت من اقناع ليان بأن تخبرها مع من تحدثت على الهاتف، وعندما أدركت دينا انها لم تتحدث مع قريب من الدرجة الأولى، تواصلت مع وكيل لمنظمة هييل وطلبت منه ان يجد احداً في الميدان في غزة يمكنه تعقب عائلة ليان لاكتشاف ما حصل.

بعد فترة وجيزة، علمت دينا ان كرم لا يزال على قيد الحياة بالرغم من اصابته برصاصة في كتفه، وأن والد ليان مصاب وحالته حرجة. ولكن، أحد اخوة ليان الأخرين وهو ناجي البالغ من العمر 17 عاماً هو من قُتل.

 دينا نقلت الخبر لليان. ثم تبين ان ناجي كان قد اتصل ثلاث مرات في اليوم السابق لكنها لم تُجيب. “كان يجب ان اجيب على الهاتف، لماذا لم اُجيب؟” قالت ليان باكية.

وفي الأسبوع التالي لوفاة ناجي، خافت ليان من النوم بعد غياب الشمس، وقالت لدينا “انا أكره الليل. أتمنى لو لم يأتي الليل.” عندما يتأخر الوقت ويعم الصمت لا تفلح ليان في إيقاف افكارها المتسارعة.

طلبت ليان من بهاء ودينا ان يسهروا معها حتى الفجر، وحاولوا قصارى جهدهم حيث لعبوا عدد لا يحصى من جولات لعبة سكيب-بو وشاهدوا حلقة تلو الأخرى من المسلسلات التركية حتى وقت متأخر من الليل. في النهاية، يضطر بهاء للذهاب للنوم لأنه لديه عمل في الصباح بينما تُكمل دينا الوردية لوحدها. في بعض الأحيان يغلب دينا النوم، وتبدأ ليان بالبكاء لدرجة تيقظها من النوم.

لا تخلد ليان للنوم إلا عندما يستيقظ جميع افراد المنزل وتشرق الشمس.

تساعد ليان سلمى عساف على وضع المكياج. ليان، والتي سافرت للولايات المتحدة لوحدها، انسجمت مع بنات عائلة عساف بعد فترة وجيزة. 

عندما تواصلت مع عائلة عساف لأول مرة حول اجراء مقابلة مع ليان، وصفها بهاء بأنها فتاة لطيفة قائلاً “لا يبدو عليها انها مرت بما مرت به.” ثم تحدثت مع ليان على الهاتف وكانت مُنفتحة لمقابلتي وايمان محمد، وهي مصورة من أصول غزاوية تعمل في الولايات المتحدة. وقبل أيام قليلة من السفر الى شيكاغو لمقابلتها، بدأت التحذيرات بالظهور. مُنسقة المرضى في منظمة هييل في ذلك الوقت دنيا سعد، اخبرتني ان ليان “قد تكون مُتقلبة المزاج،” ولديها عادة في تغيير رأيها على هواها. كما وضحت لي دينا انني “لا يجب ان أخذ أي شيء تقوله على محمل شخصي.”

في وسط نيسان، عندما وصلت الى باب منزل عائلة عساف، استقبلتنا دينا وهي ترتدي قميص حرير وردي مكوي، وكان في شعرها خصل شقراء بين شعرها المنساب. وتتحدث باللغة الإنجليزية بلهجة طفيفة.

ثم ظهرت سارة بابتسامتها العريضة وهي تدفع ليان على كرسيها المتحرك للأمام، ولكن ليان لم تكن تبتسم. كانت تحدق الينا بهدوء وقالت وهي تقلب اعينها “حسناً، دعنا ننتهي من هذا الامر.” ثم استدارت في كرسيها وذهبت لغرفة المعيشة.

ثم جلسنا مع دينا على اريكة زاوية بينما حددت ليان كيف سيمضي اليوم، وقالت “لا أريدكم ان تظهروا إصابتي في الصور. ” كنا قد تحدثنا مسبقاً على الهاتف حول الصور وكانت ليان قد وافقت على ان تدع ايمان تصورها، ولكني أدركت ان ليان الان تختلف عما كانت عليه قبل عدة أسابيع. كان علينا ان نحترم – ونرضى بـ – الشخص الموجود امامنا.

ليان لا تحب أن ينظر الغرباء الى أرجلها المبتورة ولا تريد شفقتهم، وهي بالتأكيد ليست مهتمة بإلقاء نظرة على حياتهم السعيدة والغير متأثرة بالحرب او الفقدان.

كان من الواضح ان ليان تهتم بمظهرها. في سن الرابع عشر، وعيها الذاتي حول مظهرها يكون شديد في كل الأحوال ولكن بسبب البتر التي تعرضت له فهذا الوعي كان مفرط بشدة. كانت ترتدي بذلة رياضية من نوع كالفن كلاين وكانت عيناها مُحددة بلون ابيض، وذكرني وجهها الدائري الجميل بسيلينا غوميز. وفي احدى المرات اخبرتها مُترجمة في المستشفى بانها تشبه المغنية اللبنانية الشهيرة ماريتا، ويبدو ان هذا اسعد ليان.

ليان اخبرتنا انها لا تريد ان تكون محط للشفقة، وصاحت ثم رمت قارورة المياه على الأرض قائلة “المستقبل امامي. لن اتحمل إذا بحثت عن اسمي على جوجل عندما اكبر وكان وكل ما اراه هو صور لي وانا مصابة.” كانت تطالب بأن تحافظ على جزء من السيطرة على ظروفها، كما فعلت عندما قابلت عائلة عساف لأول مرة. كما رفضت بإصرار ان تصبح اعاقتها هي كل ما يعرف عنها.

وافقنا على ان ننفذ رغبة ليان فيما يتعلق بالصور ثم تحدثنا معها عن حياتها، والسابع من تشرين الأول/اكتوبر، والغارة الجوية التي بعثرت عائلتها. في مرحلة ما، اخذ الحديث منحنى فلسفي وتناقشنا حول طبيعة البشر وإذا كانوا طيبين بالفطرة. ليان عارضت هذه الفكرة بشدة، واستشهدت بدليل انه تم بتر رجليها دون تخدير، مُفترضة ان ذلك كان خيار الأطباء. “كنت اصرخ بشدة وفقدت وعيّ بسبب عُلو صراخي،” قالت لنا ثم أصدرت صوتاً بلسانها تعبيراً عن استيائها “بعد كل هذا، تريد ان تخبريني ان هناك خير في العالم؟”

وعندما أشرنا ان حجم الدمار في غزة أدى لافتقار العديد من المستشفيات للمقومات الأساسية، أصدرت ذات الصوت بلسانها وسألت: “انا اصبت في بداية الحرب، كيف نفذت المواد بهذه السرعة؟ لأنهم يعطوا هذه المواد فقط للأفراد أصحاب النفوذ.”

بدت كلماتها كأنها محاولة لتفسير ما لا معنى له ولتصارع الحقيقة المؤلمة وهي ان البالغين في حياتها عجزوا عن حمايتها من الكارثة التي حلت بها. من خلال اعتقادها ان الأطباء اختاروا إيذائها، فهي على الأقل تخلق منفذاً لتنفيس غضبها.

تقوم اخصائية العلاج الطبيعي بتعديل الأطراف الصناعية التجريبية لليان تحضيراً لتدريبها على المشي.

وضعنا خطة لنرافق ليان لجلسة العلاج الطبيعي في اليوم التالي، ولكن عندما وصلنا لمنزل عائلة عساف في الصباح، كان هناك ازمة تظهر للعيان. في محاولة للتخطيط للمستقبل، طلب ستيف سوسيبي ان يُرافق أحد متطوعي منظمة هييل ليان للموعد الطبي المحدد بعد بضعة أيام بدلا من دينا، ولكن هذا اغضب ليان ورفضت ان تنزل للطابق السفلي. “انا لست سلعة يتم تأجيرها لهؤلاء الأشخاص،” صاحت ليان بينما كانت دينا تقف هادئة في المطبخ وتملئ كوب وردي من نوع ستانلي بالماء، ثم اضافت ليان “هذه جلسة علاجي. لا اريد أي غرباء هناك.”

أبرز هذا الخلاف الحقيقة المزعجة المرتبطة في بعض الأحيان بتلقي الاعمال الخيرية. تعتمد المنظمات الغير حكومية كهييل على شبكة من المتطوعين والمانحين، وهم اشخاص متلهفين لمساعدة طفل خرج من غزة لدرجة انهم قد يستقبلوهم في المطار في بعض الأحيان محضرين صوراً وبالونات، ويدعوهم لتناول العشاء وللأنشطة العائلية وحدائق الملاهي. وهذا من ناحية أخرى يتطلب ان يمثل الطفل دوراً معينة وهو ان يبتسم ويقف لالتقاط الصور ويعبر عن امتنانه.

ليان لا تحب أن ينظر الغرباء الى أرجلها المبتورة ولا تريد شفقتهم، وهي بالتأكيد ليست مهتمة بإلقاء نظرة على حياتهم السعيدة والغير متأثرة بالحرب او الفقدان.

تنفست دينا الصعداء عندما علمت ان برنامج متطوع منظمة هييل لا يسمح لهم بحضور الموعد مع ليان. ولكن الان أصبحت الساعة تقريباً 11:30 وتأخرنا على مغادرة المنزل حيث تتطلب الطريق للمستشفى رحلة بالسيارة لمدة ساعة. نادت دينا وهي تنظر لأعلى السلالم قائلة “هيا يا ليان. انه ليس يوم عرسك، أسرعي.”

عندما خرجت ليان اخيراً، كانت ترتدي سترة لونها ازرق مُخضر وبنطال قصير متناسق مع السترة.  وضعت دينا حبتان كبيرات من المثبطات العصبية في يدها للمساعدة في تخفيف ألم وهم الاطراف، حيث شعرت ليان في بعض الأحيان بصدمة كهربائية تسير في مكان بتر رجليها وكأن جسدها ينادي على الأجزاء المفقودة منه التي لم تعد في مكانها.

عند الوصول للمستشفى، بدت ليان سعيدة برؤية أخصائية العلاج الطبيعي حيث حضنتها ونادت على اسمها مع مد مقاطعه دلالة على الود: “أننننجيييييييييلللااههه.” وبعد ذلك من خلال ترجمة دينا من اللغة العربية، علقت ليان ان غورينو كانت تضع مسكارا في ذلك اليوم. وكانت ليان دائماً تنتبه عندما تغير غورينو أي شي بمظهرها.

ثم أوضحت غورينو: “اليوم عيد ميلاد زوجي.”

وردت ليان قائلة “او لا لا!” وهي تغمز.

الهدف الرئيسي من العلاج هو جعل ليان تمشي باستخدام الأطراف الصناعية مع مساعدة تقل تدريجياً مع الوقت. وكانت غورينو قد ساعدتها على التقدم من استخدام أداة مساعدة المشي للانتقال لاستخدام عكازان تحت الكتف الى استخدام عكاز واحد فقط. ثم كانت حينها ليان مربوطة بحبل معلق على سكة في السقف مما يخولها بالمشي لوحدها. غورينو كانت تمسك الطرف الاخر من الحبل وتسحبه عندما تتعثر ليان، لتمسكها قبل ان تسقط على الأرض.

اما شون مالك، اخصائي الأطراف الصناعية، كان يشاهد حركة ليان عن كثب، وكان في بعض الأحيان يجري تعديلات على الأطراف الصناعية التجريبية، حيث كان يراقب مواصفات جسدها لكي يصمم الارجل المخصصة لها. وستكون هذه جاهزة خلال عدة أسابيع.

خلال الجلسة، جر مالك مرآة كامل ووضعها أمام ليان. وكان قد أخبرني “انها تحب النظر في المرآة.” كانت ليان تتمختر عند رؤية انعكاسها في المرآة، وكانت تتمايل بكل خطوة وتتمتم اغنية بالعربية بينها وبين نفسها لم أتمكن من سماعها.

سمحت ليان لإيمان بالتقاط بعض الصور لها وهي ترتدي الأطراف الصناعية ولكنها أبعدت الكاميرا عنها عندما كانت غورينو تقوم بتمارين الإطالة لجسدها دون الأطراف الصناعية. عندها، تذكرت الفيديو المؤلم الذي قالت فيه انها تريد أرجل حقيقة وليس صناعية، ولكن يبدو الان ان ما تريده ليان هو ان يراها العالم واقفة على قدميها، حتى لو كانوا مزيفات. ارادت ان تقف منتصبة القامة ببسالة وتكو جاهزة لاي شيء قد تواجهه.

تقف ليان في الحديقة الخلفية لمنزل عائلة عساف.

تتمكن منظمة هييل وغيرها من المنظمات التي تقوم بأعمال مشابهة من الحصول على تأشيرات للولايات المتحدة للأطفال كليان بناءً على شروط معينة. ومن هذه الشروط أن الذين تم اجلائهم لأسباب طبية لا يمكنهم تقديم طلب للحصول على لجوء سياسي ويجب ان يغادروا الدولة فور استكمال علاجهم. من منظور الحكومة الامريكية فأن مثل هذه القيود تهدف الى تفادي تحول برامج كـ هييل الى أساليب للتحايل على قوانين الهجرة.

لعدة سنوات كان سوبيسي راضٍ لحد عن هذا التفاهم. وفي معظم الأحيان كان الأطفال الذين تلقوا علاج مختص في الولايات المتحدة قادرين على الحصول على المتابعة التي يحتاجوها في الوطن، حيث كان النظام الصحي في غزة قوي كفاية للتعامل مع هذا. ولكن حصار إسرائيل قد غير هذه المعادلة. بحسب البيانات في شهر أيار/مايو، جرى اكثر من 450 هجوم على المرافق الطبية وتم تدمير او الحاق الضرر بـ 31 من اصل 36 مستشفى في غزة. والمستشفيات التي لا تزال عاملة عليها التركيز على الرعاية الطارئة وإنقاذ الحياة، عندما تتوفر الموارد. في تصريح في شهر حزيران/يونيو، قالت المنسقة الطبية لأطباء بلا حدود في فلسطين، غييميت توما: “إمداداتنا الطبية قليلة للغاية بسبب محدودية تدفق المساعدات التي تسمح السلطات الإسرائيلية بدخولها إلى غزة. وإذا لم نتمكن من جلب الإمدادات الطبية إلى غزة في القريب العاجل، فقد نضطر إلى وقف أنشطتنا الطبية.” وأضافت “لدينا مرضى يعانون من حروق شديدة وكسور مفتوحة، وليس لدينا حتى المسكنات الكافية لتخفيف معاناتهم.”

بسبب الوضع الحالي في غزة، فهناك سؤال فظيع يتبادر للذهن وهو: ماذا لو سافرت ليان هذه المسافة الكبيرة للولايات المتحدة لكي تتعلم المشي مجدداً ثم عادت لوطنها دون ان تجد الرعاية طويلة الأمد المطلوبة متوفرة لها؟ تقول إميلي مايهيو، وهي مؤرخة طبية عسكرية تعمل مع مركز أبحاث الأطفال المصابين في انفجارات، ان ” استمرار الحياة بعد النجاة كشخص مبتور الأطراف معقد للغاية.” واوضحت مايهيو أن أحد زملائها، وهو شخص يعاني من بتر في طرفين مثل ليان، يقوم بفحص درجة الحرارة يومياً وإذا كانت أكثر من 77 (فاهرنهايت – 25 درجة مئوية) يقرر البقاء غي المنزل اليوم التالي لأن الحرارة المرتفعة تجعل استعمال الأطراف الصناعية على مدار يومان متتاليان غير مريح. كما ذكرت مايهيو ان أحد الرياضيين في الاولمبياد الموازية عانى من نمو شعر تحت الجلد في مكان البتر، مما أدى الى التهاب شديد منعه من التدريب لمدة عام كامل.

هؤلاء الأمثلة هم بالغين، اما مبتوري الأطراف الأصغر سناً يعانوا من صعوبات فريدة، ففي العادة يحتاجوا لإجراءات طبية إضافية وأطراف صناعية جديدة تلائم نمو وتغيير أجسادهم. تلبية احتياجات الآلاف من الأطفال مبتوري الأطراف في غزة ستكون مهمة يصعب مواكبتها. وبحسب د.ابوستة، الجراح المقيم في لندن، يجب على اخصائية الأطراف الصناعية حول العالم ان يبدؤا بالتدريب الان لرعاية هؤلاء الأطفال بدلاً من ان ينتظروا حتى انتهاء الحرب. يجب ان يتناوب المختصين بشكل دوري لكي يزوروا غزة لتقديم العلاج، لأنه سيكون شبه مستحيل إجلاء كل الأطفال ليصلوا الاخصائيين. وقال: “يحتاج هؤلاء الأطفال ان يتلقوا العلاج في النظام الصحي الفلسطيني كيفما كان شكله.”

وبالإضافة لهذا، أوضح ابوستة ان غزة ذاتها يجب ان يتم إعادة تصورها لمؤامة جيل كامل من مبتوري الأطراف الصغار بالسن. “يجب ان تصبح مكاناً مختلفاً بما يتعلق بالوصول والاعاقات. المدارس التي يجب إعادة بنائها يجب ان تبدو مختلفة تماماً، وكل ما يتم فعله يجب ان يُبنى على هذا الأساس.” حسبما قال “وهذا يشمل كل التفاصيل الصغيرة.”

 ولكن الان، القنابل لا تزال تتساقط وتوقفها يبدو بعيد المنال. فكرة إعادة بناء غزة في أي وقت قريب بحد ذاتها تعتبر حلم غير ملموس، ناهيك عن القيام بذلك مع أخذ احتياجات الناس كليان بعين الاعتبار. دينا تعلم هذا، وخلال موعد مع طبيب ليان المختص بالتقويم، د.اكمان، عبرت عن قلقها حول كيفية استعمال ليان أطرافها الصناعية في مكان تم تدمير 70 بالمئة من بنيته التحتية المدنية.

قال اكمان: “يمكنها استخدامهم على الاسطح المستوية.”

“ولكن ماذا لو لم يعد هناك أي طرق؟ وماذا بشأن الركام؟” سألت دينا.

“سوف تتلف بسرعة أكبر بكثير،” حسب اكمان، الذي أضاف انه عند حدوث ذلك “عملياً، ستتوقف عن العمل.”

في بعض الأحيان، حين كانت تفكر ليان بالعودة لغزة، كان ذهنها يمتلئ بأكثر الأفكار سوداوية. تقول دينا “لقد سمعتها تبكي وتقول أمور تشبه ‘إذا لم يقتلوني اول مرة، سوف يقتلوني في المرة الثانية.’” 

عندما زرت شيكاغو مع ايمان للمرة الثانية في شهر حزيران/يونيو ، رحبت بنا ليان بابتسامة خافتة بينما كانت تنزل على السلالم في منزل عائلة عساف باستخدام أطرافها الصناعية الجديدة. كانت هذه هي الأطراف التي صممها مالك وستستعملها ليان في لمدة عام او عامان، حتى يتطلب جسمها النامي اطرافاً جديدة. صُممت الأطراف خصيصاً لتتماشى مع لون بشرتها باستخدام مواد تهدف الى محاكاة ملمس جسد الانسان.

لم تكن ليان متحمسة حين أعطاها فريقها الطبي هذه الأطراف قبل اسبوعين من زيارتنا. اخبرتنا مع هز كتفيها “مظهرهم كان مقبولاً،” ولكنها لا تحب استخدامهم للمشي. ويتطلب استخدامهم تعديل وجهد وبعكس الأطراف الصناعية التجريبية، كان عليها استخدامهم طيلة الوقت، وهو أمر مُرهق. وعندما عادت من المستشفى، وضعت الأطراف الصناعية في غرفتها لعدة أيام ولم تستخدمهم. ولكي تشجعها على استخدامهم، خبأت دينا كرسي ليان المتحرك، وإذا ارادت ان تتحرك حول المنزل كان على ليان استخدام أرجلها الجديدة.

خلال جلساتها مع غورينو كانت ليان تنتقل من جهة لأخرى في الغرفة، وأوضحت “الرجل اليُسرى هي ما يزعجني.” هذه الرجل هي التي تحتوي على مفصل ركبة ميكانيكي، ولتفعيل حركة هذا المفصل، كان عليها الضغط على أصابع اقدام الطرف الصناعي. المشكلة بالنسبة لليان كانت التكرار، أي القيام بهذه الحركة في كل خطوة، خاصة ان الطرف الصناعي الاخر لم يتطلب ذلك.

للوقت الحالي اكتفت بجر رجلها اليسرى دون ثني ركبتها. كما حصلت على موافقة الطاقم الطبي بأن ترتدي احذية غير الأحذية التقويمية، وكانت تنتظر وصول زوج احذية مسطحة لونها فضي عبر البريد والذي سيصل في الوقت المناسب قبل الاحتفال بالعيد.

 الموعد الطبي الأخير لليان في شيكاغو كان يوم 3 تموز/يوليو، ومع اقتراب الموعد، ازداد القلق بين سكان منزل عائلة عساف. في بعض الأحيان، حين كانت تفكر ليان بالعودة لغزة، كان ذهنها يمتلئ بأكثر الأفكار سوداوية. تقول دينا “لقد سمعتها تبكي وتقول أمور تشبه ‘إذا لم يقتلوني اول مرة، سوف يقتلوني في المرة الثانية.’”

 خلال حديثي مع سوسيبي، أصر أكثر من مرة أن منظمة هييل لن تُعيد الذين تم اجلائهم الى غزة في ظل الاعمال العدائية المستمرة، ولكن عائلة عساف وليان غير مقتنعين بذلك. ماذا لو لم تترك الحكومة الامريكية أي خيار امام سوسيبي ؟

هناك بعض السيناريوهات المحتملة حول مستقبل ليان ينتهي بها المطاف في دولة ثالثة – قد تكون مصر، حيث تعيش قريبتها التي سافرت معها للحصول على تأشيرة وبقيت هناك، او أوروبا حيث تسكن اختها اريج. ليان قالت انها تشتاق لغزة، وعائلتها واصدقائها، وأنها تريد العودة لها إلا إذا عنى ذلك المخاطرة بحياتها. انها لا تريد ان تشعر بانها عالقة مجدداً.

تقوم بنات عائلة عساف، وليان، وبهاء بشوي حلوى السمورز في الباحة الخلفية لمنزل العائلة.

منذ اللقاء الأول المتزعزع في مطار اوهاير، أصبحت ليان جزءً لا يتجزأ من حياة عائلة عساف، حيث تحضر التجمعات العائلية وتعرفت على أخوات بهاء الكثيرات وأزواجهن وأطفالهن كما تعرف على أسمائهم جميعاً. كما ذهبت الى إجازة مع عائلة عساف لميامي. لا تزال ليان مُتحدية ولكن تعليقاتها اللاذعة تحولت لتعليقات سريعة البديهة. وأصبحت تثق بمستضيفيها لدرجة تمكنها من ان تكشف ضعفها امامهم مما أثلج صدر دينا. وقالت دينا “لديها إيمان مُطلق بنا، انها تثق بنا.” 

واصرت دينا انها ستفعل كل ما بوسعها لمنع عودة ليان لمكان ما هو الا خيال للموطن الذي عرفته سابقاً. “هذا ليس خياراً متاحاً،” قالت دينا “سنوكل محاميين وندفع كل ما يلزم من الأموال.”

في اخر ليلة لنا في شيكاغو، أشعل بهاء ودينا موقد النار الخارجي في الباحة الخلفية، وصنع الفتيات حلوى السمورز قبل ان يتضاءل تركيزهن. وكانت سيرين تتنقل على لوح تزلج الكتروني ذات عجلات مضيئة بسرعة بينما حاولت سارة اقناع أخواتها وليان بأن يتدربوا على رقصة تيك توك معاً. وفي لحظة تركت ليان العكازات التي تستخدمها لتثبيت نفسها وهي تستخدم الأطراف الصناعية وذهبت باتجاه موقد النار، ثم قامت بوضع أطرافها الصناعية على لوح سيرين ونظرت لدينا وبهاء متبسمة.

ثم صاحت دينا عبر الباحة “ابتعدي عن اللوح فوراً يا ليان!”

ثم ضحكت ليان واندفعت عائدة باتجاه الفتيات الاخريات وانضمت لهم ليبدؤوا بالدوران واللهو امام شاشة الهاتف. وفي هذا اللحظة كانت ليان مجرد طفلة ترقص.


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Coming to America

Layan Albaz lost her legs in an Israeli air strike in Gaza.
To learn how to walk again, she had to travel more than 6,000 miles from everything she knew.

Coming to America

The Atavist Magazine, No. 153


Rhana Natour is an award-winning journalist and video producer. Her stories have aired on PBS NewsHour, Al Jazeera English, More Perfect Union, and Scripps News. Her writing has appeared in such publications as The Guardian and Vice News. She shared an Emmy nomination for her work on the Nightline special “Crisis in Syria,” and her article “The Shooter’s Wife” received an award from the Arab and Middle Eastern Journalists Association.

Eman Mohammed is a Palestinian photojournalist from Gaza, and her passion for photography is grounded in her heritage. She began her career documenting life under Israeli occupation. Her photographs have been featured in The Guardian, Le Monde, The Washington Post, and other publications. Her work has been acquired by the British Museum in London and the Harn Museum of Art at the University of Florida. She was named a senior TED Fellow in 2019, and her photographic memoir, The Cracks in My Lens, was published in 2022.


Editor: Seyward Darby
Art Director: Ed Johnson
Copy Editor: Sean Cooper
Fact Checker: Lila Hassan
Translator: Ammar Owaineh

Published in July 2024.


Dina Assaf sat in her car outside Chicago’s O’Hare International airport watching the terminal’s sliding doors open and close, open and close. She and her husband, Baha, had been scrambling to prepare for this moment and were exhausted, but in the back seat their three daughters were restless with excitement. Sara, Salma, and Sereen had circled this day—March 17, 2024—on their calendars weeks ago and were giddy that it had finally come. They jostled one another for the best view of the doors, hoping to be the first to spot the person they were there to pick up. She was a young girl like them—she had turned 14 just three days before—and from what the sisters had been told, she was very important.

أقرأ هذه القصة باللغة العربية.

The girl’s name was Layan Albaz, and she had a button nose and a soft voice. What the Assafs knew of her life came mostly from videos on the internet. In one clip, Layan described how she had lost two sisters, a niece, and a nephew in an Israeli air strike in Gaza. She used a wheelchair because injuries she sustained during the attack had forced doctors to amputate her legs. In another video, filmed by Agence France-Presse not long after the air strike, Layan’s face was mottled with burns. “I want them to give me real legs,” she whimpered, clutching an oxygen mask in one hand. “I don’t want fake legs.”

But if Layan was ever to walk again, prosthetics were exactly what she would need, and to get them she was coming to the United States. Shriners Children’s Chicago, a hospital specializing in pediatric orthopedics, had offered to provide her with free medical treatment. And despite being perfect strangers, the Assafs were opening their home to Layan for the duration of her stay.

Sara, the eldest Assaf daughter, was 12, which meant that Dina and Baha had firsthand experience with an adolescent girl navigating a swirl of transitions. But Layan was also grappling with a new and permanent disability. Over the months of Israel’s brutal siege on Gaza, she had lost people she loved and seen horrors one would expect only a frontline soldier to witness. Dina was under no illusion that hosting Layan would be easy. “But I expected more of, like, sadness,” she told me.

When Layan was finally rolled through the doors at O’Hare, Baha stowed her wheelchair in the trunk and placed Layan in the back seat of the car with his daughters. Dina, who was sitting in the driver’s seat, was shocked when Layan first spoke.

“What’s that beeping noise?” Layan asked in Arabic—she had come to America without a word of English. Her voice was laced with annoyance.

“Dina just needs to put her seat belt on,” Baha replied.

“Well, what the hell are you doing?” Layan yelled, locking her eyes on Dina. “Put the damn thing on. You’re giving me a headache.”

Sara, Salma, and Sereen’s eager smiles curved into frowns of concern. Dina thought, What did I get myself into? The Assafs were already learning that their guest was too angry to be sad.

Layan checks her reflection on her way to physical therapy at Shriners Children’s Hospital in Chicago. The scarring on her face is the result of the air strike that forced doctors to amputate her legs.

In Arabic, the root of the word for “amputated,” mabtur, can mean “incomplete.” This feels like a nod to the idea that it’s possible to sever something so essential to a person that they can no longer be considered whole. Someone who has lost a limb has experienced a deviation from the blueprint of the body; like a novel with chapters ripped out, something crucial is missing.

In Gaza, all we have to go by are amputated stories, fragments of the whole truth. Even that most fundamental data point of any war—the death toll—is incomplete. As of this writing, Gaza’s health authority has tallied more than 39,000 fatalities, but with the devastation inflicted on the region’s health care infrastructure, and with many bodies buried too deep in the rubble to be counted, officials emphasize how deficient their figures are every time they issue a report. In early July, an article in The Lancet estimated that Israel’s siege could result in 186,000 deaths, or 7.9 percent of Gaza’s population. But it may be years before we know the true toll—if we ever know it at all.

As for the children, here is some of what we know: As of May, approximately 15,000 were dead, 12,000 were injured, and 21,000 were missing. Among the wounded, doctors have described treating children “shredded” by bombs, crushed by collapsing buildings, and suffering from gunshot wounds to the head. Many pediatric patients have lost arms or legs. For now we have only a single statistic when it comes to these young amputees: Between October 7 and November 29, 2023, Unicef reported that more than 1,000 children had lost one or more limbs. A spokesperson told me in June that the agency had been unable to gather more recent figures, “given the challenging circumstances on the ground.”

This isn’t unusual—authoritative, countrywide figures on the number of pediatric amputees in most conflicts are generally rare. What seems clear is that we are witnessing one of the fastest and most intense mass-disabling events of children in our lifetimes. When the dust settles, relative to population size, Gaza may be left with the largest cohort of children who’ve lost limbs in any war in modern history.

Dr. Ghassan Abu-Sittah is certain that this will be the case. A plastic and reconstructive surgeon who specializes in pediatric trauma sustained in conflict, Abu-Sittah spent more than a month in Gaza, working with Doctors Without Borders, in the early days of the war. The experience, which he also described to The New Yorker, left him determined to assess the full scale of the crisis he witnessed. “During those 43 days that I was there, I did more amputations than I’d ever done in my 20 years as a war surgeon,” Abu-Sittah told me, holding his hands to his temples during a video call from his home in London. “I just needed to understand what the bigger picture was.”

He began reaching out to other surgeons—some who had recently returned from stints in Gaza, and some who were still there. Person after person replied with details that mirrored his own experience. Abu-Sittah realized that what he and other doctors were seeing could be record setting. It was the worst kind of reality check. He now estimates the number of pediatric amputees in Gaza at somewhere between 4,000 and 4,500—so far.

To put this in perspective, the Associated Press has reported that, over two and a half years of conflict in Ukraine, some 20,000 people have lost limbs. Based on testimony from medical personnel, researchers at the Center for Pediatric Blast Injury Studies, a joint venture launched in 2023 by Imperial College London and Save the Children, believe that the number of pediatric amputees in Ukraine is around 1,200.

Here is another way of looking at Abu-Sittah’s Gaza estimate: The average U.S. public school has about 550 students. Imagine eight or nine schools in an area roughly the size of Philadelphia where every kid is missing at least one limb. Imagine also that their amputations happened alongside a torrent of other tragedies: the loss of family members, friends, neighbors, schools, houses.

Now imagine that the only hope to reclaim some semblance of physical normalcy required those children to leave home. Gaza’s sole manufacturer of prosthetics and its affiliated rehabilitation center were destroyed in an air strike months ago; as a result, many families of children who have lost limbs are trying to evacuate them so they can receive medical care abroad. Social media is brimming with their desperate pleas, and only a few get what amounts to a lucky ticket for the mortally unlucky: Countries willing to take pediatric amputees from Gaza are doing so in relatively small numbers.

The kids who do find a way out board planes for distant places. In Layan’s case, that place was more than 6,000 miles away from everything and everyone she knew.

Layan sits in her wheelchair at a physical therapy session. Her host mother, Dina Assaf, holds one of the test prosthetics Layan will use until her permanent ones are ready.

Layan grew up in Al-Qarara, a suburb of the city of Khan Younis. She was the tenth of eleven children. Most of her siblings were much older and had kids of their own; the “little devils,” as she called her nieces and nephews, once set fire to the curtains for fun while her mom was babysitting them. Her father worked construction in Israel, a relatively well-paying job for a Palestinian in Gaza if they can obtain a permit. He stayed in Israel during the week and came home on weekends. Layan and her little brother, Waseem, battled for his attention by telling him about each other’s transgressions while he was away.

Layan began to wear a headscarf in the fifth grade at the insistence of her strict uncles—men who, in her words, “fancied themselves sheikhs.” She didn’t like being told what to do, which is one reason she clicked with her best friend, Samaa. Both girls were daring and mischievous. Samaa didn’t wear a headscarf. She liked to dress in T-shirts and tight pants, and she wasn’t afraid to return the sneers of people she passed on the street who expressed disapproval.

Sometimes Layan and Samaa went to restaurants in Gaza City where no one knew them and pretended to be young adults, just to see who would believe the ruse. They had poetry duels to determine who could write a better stanza. They once stole a teacher’s workbook and distributed test answers to classmates. To formalize their status as best friends, Samaa gave Layan a necklace with a sun pendant; Samaa wore one with a corresponding moon.

On the morning of October 7, 2023, Layan was on her way to school when a barrage of rockets pierced the sky overhead. She grabbed the hem of her dress and ran for home. When she arrived, she called Samaa.

“Are you going to school?” Layan asked.

“No, I’m too scared,” Samaa replied.

Layan’s house was close to the border with Israel, and she was used to staying with her sister, who lived deeper inside Gaza, whenever hostilities erupted between Hamas and Israel. That’s what she did on October 7, but this time there would be no going back. After several days of violence, Layan’s parents got word that their house had been destroyed. Soon, along with thousands of other Palestinians, they crammed into an overflowing neighborhood shelter.

Samaa visited Layan at the shelter. One day in mid-October, Samaa got into an altercation with a girl who’d made a snide remark about what she was wearing. Layan begged her friend to let it go, but Samaa refused. “Samaa was annoyed, and at the same time she was depressed,” Layan said. “She wanted to take all that heat out on someone.” Samaa grabbed the girl by the shoulder and pushed her into a wall, then the girl’s mother intervened and slapped Samaa across the face. Members of Layan’s family had to hold Samaa back from retaliating. Other people crowded around to watch.

Recalling the incident, Layan smiled. The Samaa she knew refused to back down.

Four days after the fight, Samaa was killed, along with most of her family, when a bomb leveled their house. After one of Layan’s sisters told her that there were martyrs at a nearby hospital with Samaa’s last name, Layan called her friend’s cell phone again and again but got no answer. She made her way to the hospital, where she saw Samaa’s mother, still alive, in the hallway. “I said to myself, Samaa is gone,” Layan recalled.

Layan heard the doctors tell Samaa’s mother that she could see her daughter one last time, but they warned her against it. Samaa’s body was in pieces, and it would be a gruesome sight. Her mother shook her head.

But Layan wanted to see her friend. “I didn’t care,” Layan said of the doctors’ warnings. “Samaa was my whole life.”

What Layan saw wasn’t a body. “It was a torso, hands,” she said. But she took some comfort from the fact that Samaa wasn’t alive nine days later—that’s when Layan lost her legs. “If she saw me like this, Samaa would have died of grief,” Layan said.

The air strike came at 4 a.m. on October 27. Layan was with several family members at the home of her sister Ikhlas, who had just given birth to a boy she named Odeh, which means “to return” in Arabic. Layan was awake at the time because she was about to help Khitam, another of her sisters, administer medicine to her five-year-old niece, Jenna. “I was getting up to go toward her, and the missile hit and I fell on the floor,” Layan said. Then a huge cement block dropped into the room—it was so big it seemed to fill the whole space. “Khitam and Jenna died right in front of me, instantly,” Layan said. “To this day it’s in my mind. Just right in front of me.”

Then another missile crashed into the building, and Layan felt herself fly through the air. She would later remember falling, falling, falling; her body dropped six floors before it hit the ground. The force of that impact is likely what mangled her legs beyond repair. All around her, shrapnel and debris fell like rain.

Eventually, an ambulance transported Layan to Nasser Hospital, where just 48 hours earlier she had witnessed Odeh’s birth. “To the refrigerators,” Layan remembered a doctor saying as she was rushed in, referring to the morgue. “No, no, she still has a pulse,” a paramedic replied. “But it’s weak.”

Layan was taken to an operating room, where her legs were amputated without anesthesia. She didn’t know what was happening; she only felt searing pain. “Do you have no mercy?” she screamed. Her cries were met with silence.

It was sometime later, while she was lying on a stretcher in an elevator, that Layan saw the stump of her right leg and understood. “My legs are cut off!” she yelled.

The next thing she remembered was waking up in a hospital room—her parents were there, along with other family and friends. “The first question I asked was about the necklace,” she said. “It was the only thing I had from Samaa.” Her friend Khoolood ran up to her bed. “I have it, Layan,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I will give it to you as soon as you get better.” Layan later learned that this wasn’t true; perhaps Khoolood was trying to comfort her with a lie. The necklace was lost amid Gaza’s rubble, along with Layan’s cell phone, which contained cherished photos and videos of Samaa, of her family, of her life before the war.

Layan asked her father what had happened to everyone in the house when the missiles hit. She didn’t trust her own memory. “May they rest in peace,” her father said. Khitam and Jenna weren’t the only ones who had died—Ikhlas was gone, and baby Odeh, too.

That night, Layan’s mother tried to wash Layan’s hair, which was matted with blood, dirt, and debris. She soon gave up. “Her daughters were killed, her grandchildren were dead. Who could expect her to sit there and clean my hair?” Layan said. Instead, her mother grabbed a pair of scissors and cut it all off.

Layan laughs while holding a long receipt at a grocery store. Since her evacuation, the World Food Program has found that 96 percent of people in Gaza face acute food insecurity, and that the region is at high risk of famine.

Over the next few months, Layan endured a total of five surgeries, only one of them with anesthesia. She battled fevers, infections, and kidney issues. But her family were most concerned about her deteriorating mental health. When she left Nasser because her bed was needed amid a new wave of casualties, her parents took her back to the shelter where they’d been staying. But it was clear that Layan was in no state to be around gawking strangers. She was taken to her grandparents’ home, a multistory building full of displaced relatives, friends, and neighbors.

Things got worse. Just the sight of people walking could send Layan into a rage. Watching children run while playing was too much for her to bear. Her uncle Ahmed tried to take command of the situation. “No one talks to Layan,” he ordered the other young girls in the building. “Leave her alone.” Whenever Layan wanted to get some air on the roof, he’d clear the hallway and the elevator so she could get there unobstructed.

When a child loses a limb, time is of the essence. The sooner they get specialized care and rehabilitation, the better their chances of physically adjusting in the long term. Layan’s sister Areej, who lives in Europe, messaged people who she hoped might be able to help. A distant relative of Layan’s, a journalist in Gaza named Mohammad Alshaer, posted about her on Instagram, where he has more than 100,000 followers.

Soon Layan came to the attention of Steve Sosebee, an American in his forties with striking blue eyes. Sturdily built, Sosebee looks more like a former football player than a longtime aid worker. Originally from Ohio, he worked as a freelance journalist in Gaza in the 1990s, which inspired him to create a charity called Palestine Children’s Relief Fund (PCRF), to transport sick and injured children to the U.S. for free medical care. Sosebee has witnessed conflict in Gaza before, but he sees what’s occurring now as altogether different. “It’s a genocide,” he said. “In my thirty-plus years working there, I haven’t seen anything close to what’s happening today.”

Given the visual record of atrocities available online 24/7, many humanitarian advocates have said that the world is witnessing a live-streamed genocide. A growing number of legal experts agree. In January, the International Court of Justice ordered Israel to “take all measures within its power to prevent” genocidal acts, and “to prevent and punish the direct and public incitement to commit genocide.” The court issued another ruling in July, finding that Israeli settlement policies in Palestinian territory are illegal. The International Criminal Court has applied for arrest warrants for Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu and defense minister Yoav Gallant for war crimes and crimes against humanity, including “starvation of civilians as a method of warfare,” “intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population,” “persecution,” and “extermination.” The ICC has also applied for arrest warrants for three Hamas leaders.

In early 2024, as the bombardment in Gaza worsened, Sosebee launched a new NGO called HEAL Palestine. (HEAL stands for Health, Education, Aid, and Leadership.) Together, PCRF and HEAL are evacuating kids injured in the conflict to foreign countries, including the U.S. This work takes an enormous amount of effort, money, and organizational infrastructure. HEAL has evacuated nine child amputees since last fall. Layan was approved for treatment at Shriners Children’s in early 2024 and traveled to Egypt with an aunt to obtain a U.S. visa. Since then, Israel has seized control of the Rafah crossing into Egypt, stymieing medical evacuations. As CBS News reported in July, “Aid workers say that’s made rescuing children almost impossible.” Still, HEAL is currently working to transport a dozen new pediatric amputees out of Gaza.

Most of HEAL’s beneficiaries travel with a chaperone—a parent or older sibling, for example—and they stay either in hospital housing or with volunteer families who live close to where they’ll be treated. But HEAL said it would be easier to arrange accommodations for Layan if she came to the U.S. alone. Her sister in Europe, who was HEAL’s main point of contact, given communication outages in Gaza, agreed that Layan should make the trip by herself if it meant she didn’t have to wait any longer for the care she needed. Layan was livid about traveling alone. “Everyone came with someone,” she said. “Everyone except me.”

Layan arrived in Chicago determined to show the strangers she would be living with exactly what she was made of.

Layan descends a set of stairs with the assistance of a physical therapist. Her orthopedic surgeon has warned that if she returns to Gaza, her prosthetics will break down easily in the rubble.

The Assafs are Jordanian. Dina came to the United States when she was five, Baha at 18, and they met in a community college English class. Baha, who is now 40, works as the head of finance at a car dealership, while Dina, 38, is a homemaker. They have followed the news out of Gaza closely and oppose the war. Baha has attended local protests calling for a ceasefire. He learned of Layan’s situation through a friend with a connection to HEAL. In a family vote, Dina, Baha, and the girls agreed unanimously to welcome Layan into their home.

Dina and Baha were determined to make Layan feel like she was part of their family, no different from their own daughters. They had a spare bedroom on the ground floor of their house, which would have been easier for her to access, but they opted to put her in a room upstairs, where everyone else slept, because they didn’t want her to feel isolated. They also made sure that Layan’s room had the same bed frame, vanity, and wide-eyed stuffed animals as their daughters’ rooms across the hall.

On the drive from O’Hare, Layan announced that she wanted nothing to do with the Assafs and that she planned to stay in her room all day. When she saw where the family lived, a large brick house in a Chicago suburb, she scoffed that Dina and Baha must be drug dealers to be able to afford it. “We just work hard,” Dina responded. Layan cackled so loudly that it startled Dina.

Layan refused to let Baha carry her up the stairs to her room. Instead, she pushed herself out of her wheelchair and climbed up on her own, using her arms to swing her hips from one step to the next with the dexterity of a gymnast on a balance beam. When Layan saw the room Dina and Baha had prepared for her, her eyes widened. “It’s big,” she said. In spite of herself, a faint smile appeared on her face.

The Assafs soon understood that Layan was dreading the medical treatment she had traveled so far to receive. She had already spent weeks inside a hospital and didn’t want to repeat the experience. But Shriners Children’s is used to treating kids who require lengthy hospitalizations, and it makes its facilities as welcoming as possible. The complex is decorated with bright murals and has a Ping-Pong table. It hosts a “superhero day,” when volunteers dress up and hand out capes to patients.

On her first visit to the hospital, Layan met the specialists who’d be treating her, including Dr. Jeffery Ackman, a pediatric orthopedic surgeon; certified prosthetist and orthotist Shawn Malik; and Angela Guerino, a physical therapist with strawberry blond hair and a cheery disposition. The team would work together closely to help Layan rehabilitate, monitoring every part of her body—muscles, bones, nerves, skin—to ensure that she adapted to life on artificial legs.

There is a common conviction among pediatric orthopedists who work with amputees: Sit in a chair and you’ll start to look like a chair. Doctors want kids who’ve lost limbs to begin using prosthetics as quickly as possible, and Layan had already lost valuable time. In the six months since her amputations, she’d had no physical therapy, and her hips were becoming misaligned because of her tendency to lean to one side in her wheelchair. Without intervention, she could develop a hip contracture, a tightening of joint tissue that would essentially lock her body in an unnatural position for good. During rehab, Layan would need to wear a hip and back brace to correct her alignment, along with compression socks to reduce inflammation in what remained of her legs. Frequent stretching would be necessary to straighten out her lower torso.

Meanwhile, each of Layan’s legs presented unique challenges for her recovery. Her left leg had been amputated above the knee, so the prosthetic on that side would be equipped with a mechanical knee joint she’d need to learn to use. She still had her right knee, but the surrounding skin, replete with scars and possibly with embedded shrapnel, would make fitting a prosthetic to it difficult. Ultimately, for Layan, learning to walk again would be like mastering two musical instruments and playing them at the same time.

Layan was impatient. In her first therapy session, the team put her in check-socket prosthetics—robotic-looking legs used for training purposes—and she tried to bolt over to a treadmill in the corner. “Literally day one,” Guerino said. “I’d known her for five minutes.”

But Layan was also a quick learner. Initially, her team wanted her to stay at Shriners Children’s for two weeks of intensive treatment, after which she would go back to the Assafs’ for a few months and come in to the hospital for regular appointments. But she did so well the first week, and was so upset about having to sleep at the hospital, that her team decided she could return to the Assafs’ early—on one condition. They made Dina promise to hide the test legs from Layan, because she risked serious injury if she tried to use them without supervision.

When Layan arrived at the Assafs’ after her week at Shriners Children’s, Sara, Salma, and Sereen were hiding behind the front door. They jumped out and threw fistfuls of confetti as Dina rolled Layan in. That night, Dina took the prosthetics to bed with her and slept with them between her and Baha.

Baha Assaf, Layan, and Sara Assaf (from left) laugh as they play Skip-Bo on family game night.

As the weeks went by, the anger that Layan directed at her host family softened. Dina responded to her outbursts matter-of-factly, and Layan came to respect the boundaries set for her—even as the only English word she’d seemed to master was “no.” Layan, Salma, and Sara bonded over a love of makeup and skin care. Sereen, who at five was the youngest Assaf, was fascinated by her family’s special houseguest and had a strawberry-patterned backpack where she kept small items Layan gave her, including a whale toy and a jar of pink slime.

Gaza was never far from Layan’s mind. She once shared with Dina a video clip she watched when she missed her sisters. It showed Layan’s father standing over their bodies, which had just been pulled from rubble and hastily wrapped in white burial shrouds. Without her cell phone and its trove of family photos, this was the only way Layan could see Khitam and Ikhlas.

On a Tuesday afternoon in early April, Layan got a phone call that plunged her back into the horrors of war. Dina was cleaning in preparation for hosting a Ramadan iftar, a dinner marking the end of the day’s fasting, when Sereen appeared before her. The little girl was wide-eyed. “Mom, I think something is wrong with Layan,” she said. Dina could hear screaming upstairs.

Dina rushed to Layan’s room and found her in her wheelchair. “Why is this happening?” Layan cried. “I’ve already lost too many people.”

Layan’s cousin had called to tell her that her father and elder brother Karam had been killed when an Israeli aircraft descended over the location where they were living in a tent and opened fire. Dina told Layan to calm down, to breathe. But Layan screamed: “Who’s going to take care of my family? Who’s going to feed them?” Her father and Karam were the breadwinners, and they had been looking after the children of relatives killed in previous air strikes. Layan cried out to God, begging to know why this had happened.

Dina ran to call Baha at work. She told him he needed to let everyone invited to dinner know that it was canceled. When Dina returned to the bedroom, Layan was hitting herself.

“Look at me,” Layan said. “I wish I would have died, not them.”

“Don’t say that,” Dina said. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Look at me,” Layan snapped, her voice dripping with contempt. “I don’t have legs.” She also had a serpentine scar running from her hairline to the bridge of her nose. “Do you see my face?” she asked.

Caught in a whirlwind of grief and self-loathing, Layan kept going. “I will never be normal again,” she told Dina. “Who’s going to want to marry somebody like me? At night when I go to sleep, I’m going to have my husband help me take off my legs when I get into bed? Who’s going to do that? Who’s going to accept that? If anyone should have died, it should have been me.”

Dina managed to get Layan to tell her who it was she’d spoken to on the phone. When Dina realized that it wasn’t an immediate family member, she called a representative of HEAL. She asked them to find someone on the ground in Gaza who could track down Layan’s family and find out what had happened.

Soon Dina learned that Karam was alive, although he’d been hit with a bullet in his shoulder. Layan’s father was in critical condition. It was another of Layan’s brothers, 17-year-old Najee, who had been killed.

Dina delivered the news to Layan. Najee had called Layan three times the day before, but she hadn’t picked up. “I should have answered. Why didn’t I answer?” Layan cried.

For a week after learning about Najee’s death, Layan was afraid to sleep after the sun set. “I hate the nighttime,” she told Dina. “I wish nighttime never came.” When it was late and quiet, Layan couldn’t stop her mind from racing.

She asked Dina and Baha to stay up with her until dawn. They did their best, playing endless hands of Skip-Bo and watching episodes of a Turkish soap opera late into the night. Baha eventually went to bed because he had work in the morning, so Dina finished out the shifts alone. Sometimes she would nod off and Layan would start to cry, jolting Dina awake again.

Only when the sun rose and the rest of the household came to life did Layan finally sleep.

Layan helps Salma Assaf apply makeup. Layan, who traveled to the U.S. alone for medical treatment, soon bonded with the Assaf sisters.

When I first contacted the Assafs about interviewing Layan, Baha described her as a sweet girl. “You couldn’t tell she’s been through what she’s been through,” he told me. Layan and I spoke on the phone, and she was open to meeting with me and Eman Mohammed, a U.S.-based photographer who is originally from Gaza. It was only a few days before we flew to Chicago that the warnings began. Dunia Saad, then the patient coordinator for HEAL, told me that Layan “could be moody” and was prone to changing her mind on a whim. Dina explained that I should “not take anything she says too personally.”

In mid-April, when Eman and I arrived at the Assafs’ door, Dina greeted us wearing a pressed pink silk shirt. Her hair had blond highlights and was ironed straight. She spoke English with a hint of an accent.

Sara appeared, smiling widely as she pushed Layan forward in her wheelchair. Layan wasn’t smiling. She looked at us with a level gaze. “OK, let’s just get this over with,” she said, rolling her eyes. She whipped herself around in her chair and wheeled into the living room.

There we sat with Dina on a gray sectional while Layan dictated how the day would proceed. “I don’t want you to take photos of me that include my injury,” she declared. We had spoken about photographs on the phone, and Layan had agreed to let Eman take them, but I realized that the Layan of a few weeks ago wasn’t the Layan of right now. We had to respect—and contend with—the person in front of us.

Layan didn’t like strangers looking at her amputated legs. She didn’t want their pity. And she certainly wasn’t interested in having to glimpse their happy lives, untouched by war and loss.

It was clear Layan cared about her appearance. At 14, her self-consciousness about it would likely have been intense no matter what; because of her amputations, it was in overdrive. She was wearing a Calvin Klein tracksuit, and her eyes had been carefully rimmed with white eyeliner. Her round, pretty face reminded me of Selena Gomez. A translator at the hospital once told her that she resembled the Lebanese pop star Maritta, which seemed to make Layan happy.

Layan told us that she didn’t want to be seen as a charity case. “I have a future,” she yelled, slamming her water bottle to the ground. “I will not tolerate that when I grow up, I will google my name and all that comes up on every page is pictures of me injured.” She was demanding that she retain at least some control of her circumstances, as she had when she first met the Assafs. She was also insisting that she not be defined by her disability.

We agreed to follow Layan’s lead when it came to photos, then spoke to her about her life, October 7, and the air strike that shattered her family. At one point the conversation turned philosophical, and we discussed whether human beings are inherently good. Layan was firmly against this. As evidence, she mentioned how her legs had been amputated without anesthesia—she presumed that this had been the doctors’ choice. “I screamed so loud, I fainted from the sound of my own screams,” she told us, clicking her tongue at the memory. “And you want to say there’s good in the world?”

When we noted that the devastation in Gaza had left many hospitals without basic supplies, she clicked her tongue again. “I got injured at the start of the war. How were they out that fast?” she asked. “No, they only gave it to people with connections.”

Her words felt like an effort to make sense of the senseless, to grapple with the cruel fact that the adults in her life had been powerless to protect her from catastrophe. If she believed that the doctors chose to hurt her, at least she had somewhere to channel her rage.

A physical therapist adjusts Layan’s test prosthetics in preparation for her to practice walking.

We made a plan for the next day to accompany Layan to physical therapy. But when we arrived at the Assafs’ house in the morning, a crisis was unfolding. In an effort to plan ahead, Steve Sosebee had asked if a HEAL volunteer rather than Dina could take Layan to a medical appointment scheduled for a few days later. Layan was furious, and she refused to come downstairs. “Am I a product to be rented out to these people?” Layan screamed as Dina, remaining calm, stood in the kitchen filling a pink Stanley cup with water. “It’s my therapy. I don’t want strangers there.”

The conflict highlighted an uncomfortable reality that often comes with being a charity recipient. NGOs like HEAL rely on networks of volunteers and donors, people so eager to help a child who got out of Gaza that they’ll sometimes greet them at the airport with posters and balloons; they invite them to dinner, family events, theme parks. This in turn requires the kids to play a role: to smile, pose for photos, show gratitude.

Layan didn’t like strangers looking at her amputated legs. She didn’t want their pity. And she certainly wasn’t interested in having to glimpse their happy lives, untouched by war and loss.

When Dina learned that the HEAL volunteer’s own schedule would prevent them from taking Layan to the appointment, she breathed a sigh of relief. By now, though, it was nearly 11:30, and we were late leaving the house for the hourlong drive to the hospital. “Come on, Layan,” Dina called out, looking up the stairs. “This isn’t your wedding day. Hurry up.”

When Layan finally emerged, she was wearing a teal jacket and matching capri pants. Dina put two large pills in her palm, nerve suppressants to help ease phantom-limb pain; sometimes Layan felt electric shocks coursing through the stumps of her legs, as if her body were calling out to its parts that were no longer there.

At the hospital, Layan seemed pleased to see her physical therapist. She gave her a big hug and said her name, stretching it out affectionately: “Annnngeeeelllaahhh.” Then, with Dina translating from Arabic, Layan pointed out that Guerino was wearing mascara that day. She always noticed when Guerino made changes to her appearance.

“It’s my husband’s birthday,” Guerino explained.

“Ooh la la!” Layan replied with a wink.

The main goal of her therapy was to get Layan walking in prosthetics with less and less support over time. Guerino had helped her progress from a walker to two forearm crutches to just one. Now Layan was tethered by a rope to a ceiling track, allowing her to walk by herself. Guerino held the other end of the rope and pulled on it when Layan stumbled, catching her before she hit the ground. 

Shawn Malik, the prosthetist, watched Layan carefully as she moved. Sometimes he adjusted her test prosthetics; he kept track of her body’s specifications so he could design custom legs for her. These would be ready for her in a few weeks.

At one point, Malik wheeled a full-length mirror into Layan’s path. “She loves looking in the mirror,” he told me. Layan perked up at the sight of her reflection. She swayed her hips with each step and mumbled a song to herself in Arabic that I couldn’t quite hear. 

Layan allowed Eman to take photos of her when she was strapped to her prosthetics, but she shooed the camera away when Guerino was stretching her body without them. I remembered the wrenching video in which she said she wanted real legs, not prosthetics. It now seemed that what Layan wanted was for the world to see her standing on two legs, even if they were fake. She wanted to appear upright, undaunted, ready for whatever came next.

Layan stands in the backyard of the Assafs’ home.

HEAL and organizations that do similar work are able to get U.S. visas for kids like Layan on certain conditions. Medical evacuees can’t apply for asylum, and they must leave the country once their treatment is concluded. From the U.S. government’s perspective, such stipulations prevent programs like HEAL from becoming immigration work-arounds. 

For years, Sosebee was satisfied enough with this arrangement. Kids who received specialized treatment in the U.S. were for the most part able to get the follow-up care they needed back home—Gaza’s medical system had been robust enough for that. But Israel’s siege has changed that calculus. According to data from May, there have been around 450 attacks on health facilities, and 31 of Gaza’s 36 hospitals are now damaged or destroyed. Those that are still functioning must focus on immediate and lifesaving care, when they have the resources to do so. “Our medical supplies are critically low due to the limited flow of aid that is being allowed into Gaza by Israeli authorities. If we don’t manage to get medical supplies into Gaza very soon, we may have to stop our medical activities,” Guillemette Thomas, the medical coordinator for Doctors Without Borders in Palestine, said in a statement in June. “We have patients with severe burns and open fractures, and we don’t even have enough painkillers to alleviate their suffering.”

The situation in Gaza presented a horrible question: What if Layan came all the way to the U.S. and learned to walk again, only to return home and find that the long-term care she needed was unavailable? Emily Mayhew, a military medical historian who works with the Center for Pediatric Blast Injury Studies, told me that “life beyond survival as an amputee is immensely complicated.” She described a colleague, a double amputee like Layan, who checked the weather forecast every morning; if the temperature would be above 77 degrees, he knew to stay home the following day, because the heat would make it too uncomfortable to use his prosthetics two days in a row. Mayhew also told me about a Paralympic athlete who developed an ingrown hair on the bottom of his amputation that became so badly infected, he couldn’t train for a year. 

Those people were adults. Younger amputees face unique difficulties; they often require additional medical procedures and new prosthetics as their bodies grow and change. Meeting the needs of thousands of pediatric amputees in Gaza will be an overwhelming task. Dr. Abu-Sittah, the surgeon in London, said that prosthetists around the globe need to be training now, rather than waiting until the war is over, to care for these children. A steady rotation of specialists from abroad will need to visit Gaza to provide treatment, because it will be all but impossible to bring the kids to them. “These children will need to be treated by the Palestinian health system, whatever it looks like,” he said.

Additionally, Abu-Sittah noted that Gaza itself will have to be reimagined to accommodate a generation of young amputees. “It needs to be a different place in terms of access, in terms of disability. The schools that need to be rebuilt need to be completely different looking. Everything needs to be informed by this,” he said. “Every little thing.”

For now the bombs are still falling, with no end in sight. The idea that Gaza will be rebuilt anytime soon, let alone with the needs of someone like Layan in mind, is a pipe dream. Dina knows this, and at an appointment with Layan’s orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Ackman, she expressed concern about how Layan would use her prosthetics in a place where more than 70 percent of civilian infrastructure has been destroyed. 

“She can use them on flat surfaces,” Ackman said. 

“But what if there are no roads anymore? What about rubble?” Dina asked. 

“They will break down a lot faster,” Ackman said. Once that happened, he continued, “they basically won’t work.”  

Sometimes when she thought about returning to Gaza, Layan’s mind went to the darkest of places. “I’ve heard her crying and saying things like, ‘If they didn’t kill me the first time, they’re going to kill me the second time,’” Dina said. 

When Eman and I visited Chicago a second time, in June, Layan greeted us with a slight smile while walking down the stairs of the Assafs’ home on her new prosthetics. These were the legs Malik had designed, and Layan would use them for the next year or two at least, until her growing body required new ones. They had been customized to match her skin tone, with a material meant to resemble the texture of human flesh. 

When her medical team gave them to her two weeks before our visit, Layan wasn’t thrilled. “Their appearance was acceptable,” she told us with a shrug, but she didn’t like walking in them. They required adjustment and effort, and unlike the test prosthetics, she was supposed to use them all the time, which was exhausting. When she came home from the hospital she put the legs in her room, where they stayed, unused, for the next several days. To encourage her to practice walking with them, Dina hid Layan’s wheelchair. If Layan wanted to get around the house, she’d have to use her new legs. 

During her sessions with Guerino, Layan worked her way from one side of the room to the other. “It’s really the left leg that bothers me,” she explained. That was the one with the mechanical knee; to unlock the motion of the joint, she had to put pressure on the prosthetic’s toes. The problem for Layan was the repetition—doing this with every single step, especially when the other prosthetic didn’t require it.

For the time being, she had settled on dragging her left leg without bending the knee. She had also decided that she was ready to don footwear other than orthopedic sneakers. A pair of silver flats were on the way in the mail, arriving just in time for Eid celebrations.

Layan’s final medical appointment in Chicago was scheduled for July 3, and as the date approached, there was a swell of anxiety in the Assaf household. Sometimes when she thought about returning to Gaza, Layan’s mind went to the darkest of places. “I’ve heard her crying and saying things like, ‘If they didn’t kill me the first time, they’re going to kill me the second time,’ ” Dina said. 

In my conversations with him, Sosebee insisted more than once that HEAL would not return evacuees to Gaza amid continuing hostilities. But the Assafs and Layan weren’t convinced. What if the U.S. government gave Sosebee no choice?

There are scenarios in which Layan could wind up in a third country—perhaps Egypt, where the aunt who traveled with her to get a visa remains; or in Europe, where her sister Areej lives. Layan said that she misses Gaza, her family, and her friends. She wants to go back, but not if it means risking her life. She never wants to feel trapped again. 

The Assaf girls, Layan, and Baha make s’mores in the family’s backyard.

Since the rocky meeting at O’Hare, Layan had become a fixture in the Assafs’ lives. She’d attended family gatherings and gotten to know Baha’s many sisters, their husbands, and their kids by name. She went on vacation with the Assafs to Miami. She could still be defiant, but her biting comments had given way to witty ones. That she had come to trust her hosts enough to be vulnerable in front of them was something Dina especially took to heart. “She has all her faith in us,” Dina said. “She believes in us.”

Dina was insistent that she would do everything in her power to keep Layan from going back to a place that is scarcely a shadow of the home she once knew. “That’s not an option,” Dina said. “We will put up lawyers. We will pay as much money as we have to.”

On our last night in Chicago, Baha and Dina lit up the backyard firepit, and the girls made s’mores before their attention flitted away. Sereen zipped around on a hoverboard with LED-illuminated wheels as Sara attempted to wrangle her sisters and Layan into doing a TikTok dance tutorial together. At one point, Layan dropped the crutches she used to steady herself on her prosthetics and bounded toward the firepit. She then propped one of her new legs on Sereen’s hoverboard and glanced over at Dina and Baha with a smirk. 

“Get away from that right now Layan!” Dina yelled across the yard. 

Layan laughed and galloped back to the other girls, joining them as they swiveled and shook their hips in front of a phone screen. In that moment she was just a kid, dancing. 


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